Category: Food

I Can’t Even

A street fair celebrating diversity and food trucks was canceled after a furor over their banning a food truck operated by Israeli immigrants.

That’s kind of like banning a Chinese food truck because of the PRC’s treatment of the Uighurs, or a Turkish one because of the treatment of the Kurds, or an Indian one for the treatment of the Muslims in India, or an Irish one for their status as a tax dodge, etc.

This is inexcusable, it is bigotry, pure and simple, and the BDS crowd in Philadelphia is really, really stupid.

To quote (not) Tallyrand, “This is worse than a crime, it is a mistake.”

 A decision to disinvite a food truck selling Israeli food from a Philadelphia food festival scheduled for Sunday drew public criticism and dismay that resulted in the cancellation of the event.

Moshava Philly, a mobile Israeli food business, was supposed to participate in Taste of Home, billed as an “event celebrating diversity through food, art, entertainment, community,” presented by nonprofits Eat Up the Borders and Sunflower Philly.

On Saturday, Moshava posted on Instagram that the organizers told the food truck not to come because of rumors of a protest because of the Israeli business’ presence and that they opted to “uninvite us for fear that the protesters would get aggressive and threaten their event.”

With ongoing backlash, Sunflower Philly, one of the North Fifth Street event sponsors, announced Sunday on social media that the entire fair was canceled.

“Due to the ongoing situation with one of our events partners @eatuptheborders and @moshava_philly we have decided to cancel the ‘Taste of Home’ event,” said the group Facebook post.

The only people who win here are the proprietors of Moshava Philly, who are going to do a land office business over the next few weeks.

What I Did This Memorial Day Weekend

My old Weber kettle grill having given up the ghost, the vent on the bottom had rusted through, I looked to get a new grill. 

It had to be a charcoal grill, because while I may be a jerk, I’m not a complete git.  Gas grills are for posers.  (They are OK for camp stoves though)

I liked the Weber, and would recommend it, it’s a solid basic grill, but I was thinking.

I actually spent some time debating between just getting a new Weber, and this grill, a “Nexgrill 29 in. Barrel Charcoal Grill with Smoker,” which was about 30 bucks more, but included a thermometer, a side smoker box,and a side table.

The clincher was that I could get this assembled from Home Depot. (It just fit in Sharon’s* station wagon with the back seats folded.)

So, I fired it up empty to cook off any manufacturing residue, and then yesterday afternoon, I grilled some chicken.

I’m not sure if it is as sturdy as the Weber, but it has a thermometer, more grill space, a top grill, its 2-piece grills actually fit in our dish washer, and with careful use of the side box, I can do some relatively low temperature smoking.  

I could hold it steady about 225°F [107°C] on the kettle grill, and I’m figuring that I could reliably go as low as 150°F [66°C] on this.

Made lamb for Sharon* and me, and chicken for the kids last evening.

*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.

Things That Would Have Gotten My Mom to Disown Me

I was making a cup of coffee with a Kuerig machine, and the coffee I grabbed was a Newman’s own Pod.

I turned to the person next to me,and said, “I turned to the person next to me, and said, “Paul Newman started this company. I think that he had another line of work before he started making organic food.” 

My mom, whose favorite movie was Long Hot Summer, or as she put it, “Long Hot Summer with Paul Newman ……… YUM!!!” would not have been amused by that joke.

She probably would not have disowned me permanently, but she would have been very unamused by this bon mot.

Certainly she was unamused when her cousin at a political event, was asked to point out a politician’s wife, said cousin said, “She’s standing next to the tall handsome man with the striking blue eyes,” and the person she was pointing the woman out to said, “You mean that she is standing next to Paul Newman?”

My mom though that not recognizing Paul Newman was taking politics WAY too far.

Got Vax?


Got my shot


It kind of went like this (Not really)


Not kidding about the liquor store

I just got my vaccine, singular, as in the Johnson and Johnson vaccine.

We got it because it was the only vaccine which would definitively tell us it was corn free, and Sharon* and Nat have some fairly severe corn allergies. 

No issues to speak of, except for the fact that the Rite Aid Pharmacy is right across the street from the Rite Aid Liquor Store. 

I was in the door, got the shot, and was out in less time than it takes to read this article and laugh at the Peanuts strip. 

Of course, then I had to cool my heels for 15 minutes before leaving.

Then we all went and got rolled ice cream (Thai: ไอศกรีมผัด or ไอติมผัด), except for Nat, who got sushi because the ice cream place did not have anything non dairy.

Rolled ice cream is created by taking liquid ice cream adding fixing, and mixing it and spreading it out on an anti-griddle to freeze, and then peeling it off in a roll and adding toppings.

I had never heard of the stuff before, but I liked it.

Mine had lots of caramel, and, of course, whipped cream.

I think that going out for an ice cream after doing my part to vanquish a scourge upon the world is a good arrangement.

*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.

Just the Time to Fire Up the Grill


It was a nice pan

Not!!!

So, the oven has finally broken, and the chicken that I made, with a mustard and vinegar marinade, could not be cooked.

I figured, “What the F%$#?  I can just fire up the grill and put the pan in there.”

It was a Glass Pan.

The chicken was salvageable, the pan was not, so a 27 year old pan that Sharon* and I got it when we went on a date to the Corning Museum in Corning, NY is now shards.

Sharon took it all in stride.  

As I’ve told her many times, “It’s like ‘The Chicken” said, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it.”

*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.

Sean Hannity: Turd of the Day

It appears that Sean Hannity went into a Wawa in Philadelphia, tried to cut in line for a sandwich, did not know how to use their ordering system, and then blamed Black Lives Matter for the fact that people did not appreciate his rudeness.

He had two bodyguards with him, which probably explains why he thought that he was safe trying to cut in a hoagie line.

Do not get in between a Philadelphian and their sammich, capiche?

Conservative radio pundit and Fox News host Sean Hannity came to Philadelphia presumably to stain the Democratic National Convention.

Instead, he seems to have disrespected the region’s favorite convenience store and gratuitously insulted African-Americans, thereby staining his own reputation.

At least that’s the story according to a few different sources, led by Twitter satirist E. Mo Black.

There’s documented proof that Hannity was at the Wawa on Broad and Walnut streets in Center City at some point on Monday night.
Unfortunately, the man who took this picture left before Hannity allegedly lost his composure and demanded service ahead of everyone else.

That account of what happened was shared by E. Mo Black in a series of glorious tweets you can read in full here. Below is the abridged version.

The wilful display of elitist bigotry depicted here, followed by such a laudable show of nonviolent vigilante justice, is so becoming of the universe that we all sort of want it to be the truth.

Two of the tweets:

Hannity told him he was in a hurry, he had a very important job to get back to & to let Tanikqua fix his sandwich so he can get back to work

— Emo 1 Guy (@EmoNegro1) July 26, 2016

The Wawa worker's name was Ashley.

— Emo 1 Guy (@EmoNegro1) July 26, 2016

People of Philadelphia, I salute you.

Trial By Fire Recap

As I mentioned yesterday, I participated in a historical cooking competition Trial by Fire.

The basic rules are that the medieval dishes must be prepared under camping conditions.

Unfortunately, because the prep took longer than I thought, I could only complete one dish (the apple pastys)
in the 4 hours available, though I did complete all the dishes in the 2 hours following.

Note to self:  I am never going to do two baked dishes in Trial by Fire again.  Camping ovens turn out to be a choke point, and my camp oven was balky, so between the two of these, I ran out of time.

All the recipes turned out well, though.

Recipes are below
Pastys are made with a shortcrust (non-rising) dough, and is the core of any pasty recipe.

Shortcrust Dough

500 g strong bread flour
120 g solid fat (shortening, lard, suet, or schmaltz)
25 g unsalted margarine or butter
5 g salt
175 g cold water (important, because you want little bits of fat to make the dough flaky and tender)

Mix salt and flour, and then grate the frozen fat and margarine into the flour, and work until it resembles coarse cookie crumbs.

Slowly add the ice cold water, and work the dough until it pulls together enough to pull off the walls of the mixing container.

Place dough in a cold place (cooler or refrigerator) for at least an hour tightly wrapped so that it can come together.

Making multiple batches instead of making larger batches unless you are using an industrial strength stand mixer, it gets unmanagable

Beef Filling

450 g quality beef (skirt steak is preferred)
450 g red potato
250 g Swede (Rutabaga)
4 tsp chopped garlic

salt and pepper to taste

Slice ingredients to about a ⅛” thickness by ½” x ½”.

Roll out he dough into 4 equal balls, and then flatten into disks about ⅛”-¼” thick, and then add filling by layering, from bottom to top, with Swede, beef, potato, onion, and garlic, putting salt and pepper on each layer as you lay them out.

Seal with an egg wash , and crimp along the side (Cornish) or along the top (Devonian), cut vent holes, and then paint the top side of the pasty with an egg wash.

Bake at 400°F for hour, until the pastry is a golden brown, and shiny from the egg wash.
Allow to rest for at least 10 minutes before eating. Otherwise, you will likely burn your mouth.
It is traditional to eat with a hot English mustard, both this and a Dijon are next to the pasties.

Chicken Filling

As per the beef filling, except for brining the1 lb of chicken strips for 30 min to 2 hours.

2 cups water
1 tbsp kosher salt (half that if table salt)
1½ tbsp brown sugar
¼ tsp oragano
½ tsp marjoram

Fruit Dessert Pastys

It’s pretty much the same as the meat pastys, except that you divide the shortcrust dough into 8 rather than 4 to make smaller pasties.

Also, sprinkle granulated sugar on the top of the pastys before cutting vents in the pastys and check at about 45 minutes, as it cooks faster.

Apple filling

1 Granny Smith apples, peeled and cut thin
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp crushed ginger (can also use 1 cube of the frozen)
½ tsp cinnamon
1 tsp arrowroot
1 small pinch kosher salt

Mix lemon juice, salt, and arrowroot thoroughly, and then toss with the rest of ingredients and allow to marinate.

Blackberry filling

½ cup blackberries
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp crushed ginger (can also use 1 cube of the frozen)
1 tsp arrowroot
1 small pinch kosher salt

Exhausted

We went to an SCA event today, a historical cooking competition called Trial by Fire.

So, I drove there and back, and spent 5 hours on my feet wrestling with a balky camping oven and dough.

I was making various forms of pastys, both fruit and the Cornish variety.

The dishes went well, but took longer than expected, so only one dish was entered.

But I’ve spent the day in the sun cooking, and I am completely wiped.

I will post recipes tomorrow.

Posted via mobile.

Now I Know Why Bakers are So Cranky

I just did a big batch of pasty dough.  I’ve done Cornish Pasties before, but I was doing a large batch to evaluate some dessert pasties, which requires more than just 4 called for in the recipe.

My forearms ache, because you need to work the dough, which is made with bread flour, which is stiff.

On the bright side, we did some cheese and veggie pasties for dinner from the excess dough.

The remaining dough is in the fridge, and I will be doing apple and various berry fillings.

Not Enough Bullets

In the brave new world of f%$#ing over the American worker, we have the financial innovation (hold on to your wallets) of payroll cards:

Hey, remember our old friends, Darden Restaurants? They’re the dickbag parent company of Olive Garden, Longhorn Steakhouse, and (formerly) Red Lobster, who (allegedly knowingly) source from slave labor and who are legendary within the restaurant industry for screwing over their workers. Yeah, turns out they have a fun new way of screwing their employees out of their hard-earned money. The best part? It’s (mostly) perfectly legal.

The secret is a fun (not at all fun) method of paying their employees called payroll cards. The way payroll cards work is that instead of actual paychecks, employees are given what amounts to a debit card they can use to access their pay. Some (assholes) have argued that this is actually good for workers, because it means they can access their money immediately. But a new report from Restaurant Opportunities Centers United sheds some light on the practice and, well … Darden doesn’t come out of it looking pretty. Among other things, the report found that:

  • 23% of employees surveyed said they were never given instructions on how to use the cards
  • 42% had trouble accessing their money using the cards
  • 63% weren’t told about the fees associated with the card when it was foisted on them
  • 49% said they had no access to an ATM from which they could withdraw their money without a fee
  • 24% reported fees at point of purchase — meaning they had to pay fees when they tried to use the payroll card for a purchase, rather than just a withdrawal

Payroll cards are great for banks: they get to charge exorbitant ATM fees to people whom they would otherwise have never been able to gouge. They’re just as great for the companies themselves, especially in Darden’s case: all told, the practice of using payroll cards saves the company $5 million per year, according to the report. The only people they’re not great for are actual workers, who (as per usual) get hosed in a big way.

Employers are required to offer an alternative, but a lot of them don’t, and those that do try to hide it from their workers.

F%$# these folks, without lube.

Earmning a Capitalism Merit Badge

An enterprising Girl Scout set up shop selling cookies outside a marijuana dispensary:

It’s that time of year again. Time when your local market entrances are flooded with Girl Scouts selling boxes of Samoas, Tagalongs and Thin Mints. But one 13-year-old Girl Scout in San Francisco and her mother made a rather business-savvy decision to sell cookies outside of a medical marijuana dispensary.

On Monday, Danielle Lei and her mother set up shop outside the Green Cross store with the cookies. With the store’s blessing, Lei sold 117 boxes in two hours.

Holli Bert, a spokeswoman for the Green Cross, said that after just 45 minutes, Lei had to call for backup cookies to replenish her stock.

Future venture capitalist, I guess.

Stupid IP Tricks

European tax authorities going after Starbucks for “Recipe” payments in order to artificially lower its tax payments in Europe:

If there are two edicts I try to follow whenever I’m writing, they are, first, write what is true and, second, avoid cliche at all costs. I bring that up only as a preface before saying the following: the UK is walking down an Orwellian path. It’s nearly the cliche of cliches to say something like this, and yet it happens that the cliche is true. While there is most certainly a real thing known as a threat from Islamic terrorism, there is also such a thing as overreaction. What started as the British government’s attempt to ban extremist thought from social media and television (under the notion that some thoughts are too dangerous to enjoy the freedom that other thoughts deserve) then devolved into the conscripting of teachers that were to be on the lookout for children that might become radicalized. To assist them with this, the government helpfully provided spy-software to use against students. Spy-software which itself was found to be exploitable in the most laughably easy of ways. This employed two of the most horrifying aspects of Orwell’s Oceania: the concept of thought-crime and the employ of citizens to fearfully surveil one another.

And now it seems the UK is going even further, adopting Oceania’s reputation for the swallowing up of citizens should they be found suspect of thought-crime by those watchful citizens. Specifically, the Family Division of the Judiciary has put out a memo declaring exactly how it will remove children from the homes of anyone it suspects might radicalize those children. Here’s a snippet.

Recent months have seen increasing numbers of children cases coming before the Family Division and the Family Court where there are allegations or suspicions: that children, with their parents or on their own, are planning or attempting or being groomed with a view to travel to parts of Syria controlled by the so-called Islamic State; that children have been or are at risk of being radicalised; or that children have been or at are at risk of being involved in terrorist activities either in this country or abroad.

Only a local authority can start care proceedings (see section 31(1) of the Children Act 1989 – the police powers are set out in section 46). However, any person with a proper interest in the welfare of a child can start proceedings under the inherent jurisdiction or apply to make a child a ward of court.2 Usually, in cases falling within the description in paragraph 1 above, it will be the local authority which starts proceedings under the inherent jurisdiction or applies to make a child a ward of court, and the court would not expect the police (who have other priorities and responsibilities) to do so. There is, however, no reason why in a case where it seems to the police to be necessary to do so, the police should not start such proceedings for the purposes, for example, of making a child a ward of court, obtaining an injunction to prevent the child travelling abroad, obtaining a passport order, or obtaining a Tipstaff location or collection order. Given the complexities of these cases, I have decided that, for the time being at least, all cases falling within the description in paragraph 1 above are to be heard by High Court Judges of the Family Division.

In other words, the High Court Judges within the Family Division are now tasked with determining whether children will be made wards of the state based solely on suspicions of possible radicalization. Children torn from mothers and fathers in Muslim homes will be subject to the whims and inherently flawed watch of the larger citizenry. A citizenry, mind you, that has had its vigilance unduly ramped up by the government’s past actions and requests. It’s hard to imagine a better recipe for the unfair targeting of Muslim families than this. Unfortunately for all concerned, this same memo imagined just such a recipe, making things even worse.

………

Tax avoidance [Note: Tax avoidance uses legal, though frequently unethical, techniques to lower the tax burden. Tax evasion is a crime.] is a sore point in the United States, where the largest companies, including Apple, Amazon and many others, routinely try to minimize their bills. In Europe, the cases have hit a raw nerve in countries where citizens have been squeezed by years of austerity, and stoked friction among member states that are jockeying with one another for jobs and investment.

………

After asking Dutch tax authorities and Starbucks to provide details of their tax deals last year, the commission determined the company’s tax setup with the Netherlands had no realistic economic justification. The case zeroed in on Alki, the British-based entity at the center of Starbucks’ efforts to reduce its Dutch and European tax bills.

In 2001, Starbucks installed its European corporate headquarters and a massive new coffee roasting plant in Amsterdam after conferring with Dutch tax authorities. The setup proved beneficial: Starbucks created several Dutch partnerships that were not subject to the country’s corporate tax, including one named Emerald City, a nickname for Seattle.

Emerald City owned Alki, which was set up in London to house Starbucks’ intellectual property. The intellectual property included logos and the recipe for roasting coffee beans, which Starbucks subsidiaries pay Alki a royalty to license. Because of its structure, Alki was not subject to corporate tax in the Netherlands or Britain.

………

The recipe was basically the temperature for roasting beans, and appeared to be more like instructions than intellectual property. Yet counting it as such allowed Starbucks’ roasting unit to reallocate most of its profit to Alki in the form of royalties, the commission said, nearly wiping out the Dutch tax bill. No other Starbucks companies or roasters paid royalties for the same information, the commission said.

Crap like this happens, because we as a society have made a conscious decision to encourage rent of this sort behavior.

IP protections are there to incentivize creativity, and when we extend those incentives far beyond what is necessary for this, we create a cesspool of corruption and self-dealing.

It also one of the things that contributes to a less equal society, because the unearned proceeds create resources to lobby for even more rentier behavior.

Trinidad Scorpion Peppers 1 : Charles Saroff 0


Am I a bad parent for taping this?

We went to the Reisterstown Farmers Market, and Max’s Heat was there hawking their spice mixes.

Charlie wanted something hot, so he was offered, with appropriate warnings, a sample of 4th Degree Burn, a spice mix made of Trinidad Scorpion Peppers (1.2 million Scovilles) and pink Himalayan Salt.

I whipped out my camera to record the coming conflagration.

BTW, the URLs for Max’s Heat are here and here.

Note that I have received nothing of value, beyond this really funny video, from Max’s Heat for posting this.

Also, their curry mix was kick ass.