Category: Gaming

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

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In a fit of political pandering, Governor Andrew Cuomo has issued an executive order banning sex offenders from playing Pokemon Go while declining a law intended to facilitate prosecution of child rape into law:

Governor Anthony Cuomo, never afraid to take quick and decisive action on the issues facing New York, announced today that all 3,000 of New York’s sex offenders will be prohibited from “downloading, accessing, or otherwise engaging in any internet-enabled gaming activities, including Pokémon Go.”

 “Protecting New York’s children is priority number one and, as technology evolves, we must ensure these advances don’t become new avenues for dangerous predators to prey on new victims,” said Cuomo in a statement. “These actions will provide safeguards for the players of these augmented reality games and help take one more tool away from those seeking to do harm to our children.”

 To that end, Cuomo will have the Division of Criminal Justice Services provide a current list of sexual offenders to Niantic Inc., the creator of Pokémon Go, as well providing the same list to Apple and Google. Parole officers will also be trained in how to check and see whether their parolees have been playing any internet-enabled games.

 ………

 Meanwhile, left sitting on Cuomo’s desk at the end of this year’s legislative session was a bill that would have lengthened the statute of limitations on sexual-abuse cases by five years; given officials a six-month window to revisit old cases; and eliminated the difference in how public and private organizations (i.e., the Catholic Church) would be treated when it comes to child-sexual-abuse cases.

The cause of this?  A grandstanding state senator who found that some Pokeman were located within a few blocks of sex offenders’ houses ……… in New York City.

You can find anything within a few blocks of sex offenders’ houses ……… in New York City.

The stupid,  it burns.

Taking a Prank That Necessary Extra Step

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As you are no doubt aware, the terrorists occupying the Malheur sanctuary offices in Oregon have been asking for people to send them stuff so that they can maintain their presence.

They’ve asked for things like food and warm clothing, what they have been getting is dildos and other sex toys.

Well, Max Temkin, co-creator of the game Cards Against Humanity, saw this as problematic, so he sent the protesters a 55 gallon drum of Passion Natural Water Based Lubricant.

Epic.

I am Such an Asshole

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I am at a “Rubiks” cubing competition with my son, and this time, for the first time, Sharon* is with us.

She made the comment that she felt like she was in a room of people like Charlie.

I replied, “You mean virgins?”

When I informed Charlie of my bon mot, we was unamused.

(on edit) This was the River Hill Fall 2015 cubing competition, and the world record for solving a 3×3 cube was broken ……… twice, with the final record breaking the 5 second barrier.

*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.

If I Did this, My Liver Would Jump Out of my Thorax and Beat Me to Death

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Matt Taibbi has come up with what he calls, “The Official GOP Debate Drinking Game Rules.”

This is potentially a VERY hazardous activity.

Hundreds of people perish from alcohol poisoning every year in the United States.

Playing a drinking game based on the level of Republican stupidity in the debates is French kissing cobras, or trusting in the honesty of investment bankers.

I am not going to be watching the debate.

I’m sure that after 5 minutes of listening to them, I would feel compelled to start mainlining bat guano and licking toads by way of self medication.

You Would Have Thought that They Would Have Learned After the Ottoman Empire and the Ferme Générale Debacles………

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Or, if they don’t want to go back so far, the Chicago parking meter debacle, but history repeats itself, and Chris Christie’s privatization of the New Jersey lottery shows once again that privatizing the collection government revenues, does not produce additional revenue, it just produces waste and corruption:

The state Assembly budget committee chairman is calling for a review of the contract privatizing parts of the state lottery following a news report that the firm hired to manage the system fell short of revenue benchmarks.

Assemblyman Gary Schaer (D-Passaic), reacting to a Bloomberg report Monday that Northstar New Jersey missed its projections by $24 million in the first fiscal year of a 15-year contract, said the shortfall puts programs for seniors, veterans and people with disabilities at risk.

The premise of the lottery contract is increasing lottery revenues according to Northstar’s own projections, Schaer said.

“The administration brought in a company to work on the lottery system, and clearly the results are not what they should be,” he said.

Christie inked the deal with Northstar in July 2013, making New Jersey the third state to hire a private firm to help run its lottery in hopes of boosting lottery sales.

Four months into the arrangement, which began Oct. 1, 2013, Northstar secured a contract amendment reducing its revenue goals, according to Bloomberg. Northstar cited slowed sales from Superstorm Sandy in its request.

These deals never generate more revenue.

At best, what they do is generate a dollar today at the cost of many more dollars tomorrow.

In this case, considering that it is Jabba the Governor, it’s about payback for politically connected friends of Chris.

Hopefully, the media is over their man-crush on Christie, and and will begin to notice the morass of cronyism and self-dealing that is his tenure as Governor.

The Stupidest Political Scandal of the Season (So Far)

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Seriously, why the hell does anyone care if a candidate for the US Congress in Florida does vampire LARP?

An attorney challenging first-term Rep. Ted Yoho (R-FL) moonlights as a live-action vampire role-player, according to a Florida political news site.

 SaintPetersBlog on Tuesday detailed Jake Rush’s involvement in the Mind’s Eye Society, a national community of live-action role-players. Rush played a host of supernatural characters — “Chazz Darling” and “Staas van der Winst” were just two of his alter-egos — and kept up an active presence on the Camarilla Wiki Project, a Wikipedia-like website that allowed role-players to share content.

 Business Insider also reported that Rush appears to have held a prominent position with a Florida-based group called the “Covenant of the Poisoned Absinthe,” which stages “an assortment of games from White Wolf’s selection, including Vampire: The Masquerade, Changeling: The Lost, and Mage: The Awakening.” White Wolf publishes live-action role-playing games for the Mind’s Eye community.

Seriously.

Why does anyone give a f%$# about this?

Your Tax Dollars at Work

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Yeah, whoever wrote proposal this is still laughing

It has been disclosed that the NSA and the CIA were aggressively monitoring:

Not limiting their activities to the earthly realm, American and British spies have infiltrated the fantasy worlds of World of Warcraft and Second Life, conducting surveillance and scooping up data in the online games played by millions of people across the globe, according to newly disclosed classified documents.

 Fearing that terrorist or criminal networks could use the games to communicate secretly, move money or plot attacks, the documents show, intelligence operatives have entered terrain populated by digital avatars that include elves, gnomes and supermodels.

 The spies have created make-believe characters to snoop and to try to recruit informers, while also collecting data and contents of communications between players, according to the documents, disclosed by the former National Security Agency contractor Edward J. Snowden. Because militants often rely on features common to video games — fake identities, voice and text chats, a way to conduct financial transactions — American and British intelligence agencies worried that they might be operating there, according to the papers.

 Online games might seem innocuous, a top-secret 2008 NSA document warned, but they had the potential to be a “target-rich communication network” allowing intelligence suspects “a way to hide in plain sight.” Virtual games “are an opportunity!,” another 2008 NSA document declared.

 But for all their enthusiasm — so many CIA, FBI and Pentagon spies were hunting around in Second Life, the document noted, that a “deconfliction” group was needed to avoid collisions — the intelligence agencies may have inflated the threat.

I kind of think that the pitch for the program went like this:

Even if you do not have privacy issues with NSA spying, the fact that they were paying people to play video games indicates that they have way too big a budget.

Charlie Completely Freaks Out (In a Good Way)

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I was in the bedroom, and Charlie started screaming like an Banshee.

It went on and on and on.

Finally, he made it to the bedroom, and told me that he had successfully done his first blindfolded Rubik’s cube solve.

While blind cube solving would not be my choice of where to apply efforts, it’s certainly better than something like, “evil overlord bent on world domination.”

MicroFlaccid Folds Like a Bunch of Overcooked Broccoli

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Still not a gamer, but I love this animated GIF

They have reversed themselves on their restrictive XBox One content policies:

YET ANOTHER UPDATE (5:24 Eastern): Microsoft has confirmed to Kotaku that the “family sharing” and digital cloud library access features that were planned to be in the Xbox One are indeed gone thanks to today’s policy reversal. Xbox one users will also apparently have to download a “Day One” patch to enable the offline mode.

 FURTHER UPDATE:

 “You can play, share, lend, and resell your games exactly as you do today on Xbox 360.” That is now the official word from Microsoft.

 Microsoft says it “imagined a new set of benefits such as easier roaming, family sharing, and new ways to try and buy games,” but that it also realized that “the ability to lend, share, and resell these games at your discretion is of incredible importance to you.”

 No Internet connection will be required to play offline Xbox One games; the Internet will only be required for a one-time initial system setup. There will be no limitations on sharing or selling game discs. Downloaded games will be playable offline, and there will be no regional restrictions on those games.

 On the downside, there will be no digital “family” sharing as was previously announced, and disc-based games will require the disc to be in the tray to be played.

Not surprising that they are killing “Family Sharing”. It was only in there as an excuse to kill the resale market.

I am a bit surprised that Microsoft came to its senses before it experiences months of disappointing sales.