Category: Humor

Some People Cannot Resist Posting Kittens

2 Comments

For me, it’s farts:

A woman on TikTok has left people in stitches with her story about a time she ripped a fart in a spin class that led to a total evacuation of all people on the premises.

………

“This one time I went to a spin class after a heavy night of drinking and 4am kebabs…”

Then it happened.

“…And I farted a fart that smelled so bad that a girl threw up and they had to evacuate the gym because they thought they had a sewage problem.”

She was apparently glad to finally get it off her chest.

“I was too embarassed to tell them it was just me. So now, eight years later, I’m telling you guys.”

@maximevdd

Tell me your greatest fart stories. Can you beat that? #fyp #gym #gymproblems #fart #spinclass #hangover #embarrassing #ohno #fartsfordays #drunk

♬ Oh No – Kreepa

How is this woman still single?  Not mocking her.  Women who find farts funny are rare and should be treasured.

Also, it beats my story of Prednisone fueled farts, when I let one site slip out silently that violated the chemical weapons convention at the same time that my my dad loudly farted while we were in the car, and he took the blame from the rest of the family for 15 minutes until I fessed up.

OK, This is Funny.

No Comments

It’s cruel, and crass, but today’s joke from Least I Could Do is really damn funny.

I would argue that of the Prince Philip funereal jokes, this one is the best.

To state the blatantly obvious, it’s funny to make jokes about creatng a fake Tinder profile for Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor, but it is most assuredly NOT funny to actually make such a profile on Tinder.

It is even less funny to make a fake Grindr profile for Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor.

As an aside, does anyone know that the statute of limitations is for Lèse-majesté laws in the UK?

Happy Pie Day

No Comments

This is the best Pie Day bit ever:

What? You saying that it’s April Fools day, not π Day, March 14th?

I wrote Pie Day, not π Day.  Get with the program.

Google is not playing this year, because ……… Covid.

Some other people are still doing pranks though:

IP Insanity in One Ironic Twist

No Comments

When I was your age, this is how we did memes!


Payback, Bitches!

A concert being live streamed on Twitch had its music replaced with 8-bit folk music because it included music from Metallica.

The interesting thing about this is that it was Metallica playing Metallica, which, considering their actions during the whole Napster affair, is rather amusing:

Long time copyright watchers know that Metallica sullied its reputation with tons of fans when it was the first band to sue the file sharing upstart Napster back in 2000 (and also sued three universities for “not blocking Napster”). The band’s drummer, Lars Ulrich, became an outspoken critic of file sharing and the internet, the early face of super wealthy musicians whining about the internet changing the way they did things, leading to the classic Money Good! Napster Bad! meme.

Over the years, Metallica has tried to do more to “embrace” the internet, but almost every time, fans jump up to remind them about what assholes they were towards the early internet experience.

And that brings us around to Friday evening, when Metallica was set to play a streamed “live” show to kick off BlizzCon (an event for video game company Blizzard). The event was streamed live on Twitch, which has had some copyright problems of late. It appears that as Metallica was playing, and the Twitch Gaming channel was streaming the concert, someone realized that there might be a copyright problem. As first called out by Rod Breslau, the channel inserted 8-bit folks music over Metallica’s live performance to avoid a situation that, uh, Metallica might sue over.

This is sweet, sweet payback, and I expect this to get memed to death.

Snark of the Day ……… Week ……… Month ……… Year ……… Decade ……… Century ……… Mellenium

No Comments

The anarchist group INDECLINE decided that they need to show that the emperor had no clothes, with said emperor being Donald J. Trump.

To do this, they erected 5 naked sculptures of him all across the nation: (This is amusing, but not truly great snark)

For much of the past year, Donald Trump proved uniquely untouchable, a political force of such mind-boggling invulnerability that he even bragged about attracting voters after hypothetically shooting someone on Fifth Avenue.

Hoping to strip away the Teflon Don’s legendary confidence to reveal the fleshy mortal beneath the expensive suits and long ties, members of the anarchist collective INDECLINE decided they would showcase the aspirant president in the most humiliating way they could imagine: without his clothes.

The group unveiled life-size statues of Trump in the nude Thursday morning in public spaces in New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Cleveland and Seattle.

“The Emperor Has No B—s,” [Balls because WaPo is too chickensh%$ to say it] as the project is called, arrives several months after the group covered stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with the names of African Americans who have been killed by police. In the past, the collective has also claimed responsibility for an anti-Trump “Rape” mural on the U.S.-Mexico border and a massive piece of graffiti art in California’s Mojave Desert.

Yes, this is amusing, but it still isn’t great nark.

The great snark was from the New York City Parks Department, which promptly removed the statue, and a spokesman explained their reasoning as follows:

NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small.

Brilliant! 

You win the internet.

H/t DC at the Stellar Parthenon BBS.

Comedy Central Goes Full “Unblackening”

No Comments

They just canceled Larry Wilmore’s show:

For almost a decade, the combination of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert made Comedy Central destination viewing for fans of late-night comedy and barbed political commentary.

But over the last 12 months, the post-Stewart and post-Colbert era has not been as easy for the network.

On Monday, Comedy Central announced that it was canceling “The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore” because of falling ratings and a distinct lack of buzz.

The final episode of Mr. Wilmore’s 11:30 p.m. show — the slot formerly occupied by Mr. Colbert before he left for CBS — will be Thursday.

Kent Alterman, Comedy Central’s president, said he informed Mr. Wilmore of the news late last week. The move, Mr. Alterman said in an interview, was made for a simple reason: The show “hasn’t resonated.”

“Even though we’ve given it a year and a half, we’ve been hoping against hope that it would start to click with our audience, but it hasn’t happened, and we haven’t seen evidence of it happening,” Mr. Alterman said.

The awkward timing of the cancellation, just 12 weeks before the presidential election, ultimately came down to a contract, Mr. Alterman said. Mr. Wilmore’s deal, along with those of several of the show’s other staff members, was set to expire in a few weeks and the network had to decide now whether to renew or cancel.
Continue reading the main story

For the time being, Comedy Central’s 12 a.m. show, “@midnight,” will replace “The Nightly Show” at 11:30 p.m. “The Daily Show” with Trevor Noah remains at 11 p.m. Mr. Alterman said he hoped to name a full-time replacement for “The Nightly Show” sometime next year.

………

“The Nightly Show” has been known for a signature segment, “Keep It 100,” (slang for telling the truth, no matter the consequences) and for Mr. Wilmore’s often stinging commentary on race and this year’s election. (He called the election to find Barack Obama’s successor “The Unblackening.”) Though the late-show genre remains heavy on easygoing laughter, any one episode of “The Nightly Show” could occasionally go for prolonged stretches without a single joke, something that intrigued some critics but failed to attract a broader audience.

“I’m really grateful to Comedy Central, Jon Stewart and our fans to have had this opportunity,” Mr. Wilmore said in a statement. “But I’m also saddened and surprised we won’t be covering this crazy election or ‘The Unblackening’ as we’ve coined it. And keeping it 100, I guess I hadn’t counted on ‘The Unblackening’ happening to my time slot as well.”

It wasn’t getting the demographic that the network wanted, White Bros, because it attempted a meaningful dialogue on race, which is about as welcome by that demo as a turd in a punch bowl.

I’m bummed.

The Libertarian Candidate Has the Best Campaign Slogan

No Comments

I do not support the Libertarian candidate for President, Gary Johnson.

He’s on record wanting to slash Medicare and Medicaid, repealing Obamacare, etc.  the whole Libertarian shtick.

If he were running on the VP candidate, and his running mate Bill Weld were at the top of the ticket, I might consider it, but not in the current configuration.

That being said he has the best campaign slogan of the season.

Heh.

The Only Opinion that Matters ……… Except Maybe his Own

No Comments

Stephen Colbert just gave major props to Larry Wilmore for his White House Correspondents Dinner speech:

………

 Last night Stephen Colbert opened his monologue with that ‘phone call.’

 “Now personally, I thought Larry gave a great speech, that did not let the President or the press off the hook, And I am confident that Larry will receive the ultimate recognition for his work — never being invited back.”

 He also addressed the end of Larry’s speech, which if you have ever watched The Nightly Show you know was not a racial slur or insult. But leave it to Colbert to put it in perspective.

 “There was a little controversy, a moment at the end where Larry said the n-word. It was shocking, but it did lay the groundwork for President Trump to say it next year.”

That sound you hear is a mic dropping.

Larry Willmore Slayed at the White House Correspondents Dinner

No Comments

Made Even Better by the Crowd Reaction

It is pretty clear that he looked at Colbert’s now famous talk 10 years ago, and decided give me some more of that:

Comedian Larry Wilmore held no punches at the 2016 White House correspondents’ dinner, taking aim at presidential candidates, reporters and Bill Cosby. (Erin Patrick O’Connor/The Washington Post)

It’s always the big question after the White House correspondents’ dinner: Did the comedian flop?

Opinions vary wildly, but there’s no question some of Larry Wilmore’s jokes received a very frosty reaction inside the Washington Hilton on Saturday night.

………

But that was nothing compared to when he tried out his jokes about the media — to a crowd filled to the brim with journalists.

………

On TV, the reaction sounded like hushed murmurs. Our colleagues inside the dinner reported the line bombed. “Boo!” someone yelled. “Hiss!” yelled another.

Wilmore laughed nervously. “No — alright, fine, I like Wolf.” He was booed again when he took another shot at Wolf’s network: “I don’t know about you guys, but I cannot get enough of that CNN countdown clock. Now we can see exactly when they hit zero in the ratings.”

Another joke that didn’t go over so well? “A little bit about me, I am a black man who replaced a white man who pretended to be a TV newscaster,” Wilmore said. “So yeah, in that way Lester Holt and I have a lot in common.”

There were audible, very loud gasps at that joke that obviously called out Brian Williams, replaced by Holt on “NBC Nightly News” after it was discovered he exaggerated or misrepresented stories over the years.

………

Melissa Harris-Perry, whose messy departure with MSNBC was specifically referenced in the routine (Wilmore says MSNBC now stands for “Missing a Significant Number of Black Correspondents”), tweeted support for Wilmore, which is unsurprising:

It was a good talk, made even better by the frosty reception of the room, who are still as thin skinned as they always were.

The best line was not a dig at Fox, but by a line about MSNBC, “MSNBC got rid of so many black people I thought Boko Haram was running that network,” though the best moment when Don Lemon flipped the bird in response to a dig at him.

He also dropped the N-bomb.

It was good, and he had to know that he would piss off most of the guys in the room.

Well played Mr. Wilmore.

Here is the complete transcript .