Category: Sports

About F%$#ing Time

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Finally, the courts are starting to rule against the modern-day slavery ring that is the NCAA.

It’s a fairly limited ruling, (9-0) simply stating that their limits of scholarships that the NCAA places on athletes are a violation of antitrust law, but it’s a start:

The Supreme Court unanimously ruled on Monday that the N.C.A.A. could not bar relatively modest payments to student-athletes, a decision that underscored the growing challenges to a college sports system that generates huge sums for schools but provides little or no compensation to the players.

The decision concerned only payments and other benefits related to education. But its logic suggested that the court may be open to a head-on challenge to the ban by the National Collegiate Athletic Association on paying athletes for their participation in sports that bring billions of dollars in revenue to American colleges and universities.

In a concurring opinion, Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh seemed to invite such a challenge.

“Nowhere else in America can businesses get away with agreeing not to pay their workers a fair market rate on the theory that their product is defined by not paying their workers a fair market rate,” Justice Kavanaugh wrote. “And under ordinary principles of antitrust law, it is not evident why college sports should be any different. The N.C.A.A. is not above the law.”

While this is good for athletes, it might be better for students in general, since the top schools openly collude on financial aid awards and tuition for students more generally, which should be targeted by antitrust authorities.

I think that this could be a precedent for this as well.

Adding to My List

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I’ve got another entity to add to my list of They Who Must Not Be Named, but not because these individuals are unworthy, it appears that they are worthy and without blame, unless, of course they sh%$ on the carpet.

I will not meddle in the affairs of pure bred show dogs, like the Pekingese named “Waasabi” that just won “Best in Show” at the Westminster dog show.

Competitions between pure bred (inbred) animals, it’s just not my thing.

Animal pix are always welcome, whether they are cute cats, darling dogs, smiling snakes, profane parrots, obstreperous octopi, likeable lizards, precious ponies, tenacious turtles, precious pigs,
Shakespearean sharks,and happy hamsters.

NFL Was Doing What?

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The NFL has been engaging in “Race Norming” in evaluating players for brain damage from concussions.

To the uninitiated, race norming means that the Football league was assuming that Black people were stupid when evaluating players for impairment from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE).

Gee, racism much?

The NFL and the lead attorney for about 20,000 former players on Wednesday both promised to end “race-norming” — a controversial practice that curves Black players’ cognitive test scores with data that assumes a lower level of function — as part of the payout process in the $1 billion-plus settlement of class-action concussion litigation against the league.

The statements from the NFL and attorney Chris Seeger came as the practice of race-norming in the settlement payout process, first brought to public attention last year in a lawsuit by two former players, has drawn heightened scrutiny in the courts and media.

………

The NFL, in its statement, maintained that no discrimination had occurred in the administration of the settlement, finalized in 2017, which has paid more than $800 million to more than 1,000 former players diagnosed with dementia, Alzheimer’s, and other brain-related diseases. But U.S. District Judge Anita Brody, who has overseen the settlement, has been so troubled by the revelation of race-norming that she took the unusual step of appointing a mediator earlier this year to investigate.

………

The use of race norms in the NFL’s concussion settlement payouts first came to light last August, when two former players accused the league in a lawsuit of discriminating against hundreds — and potentially thousands — of Black former players. In their suit, former players Najeh Davenport and Kevin Henry alleged that race-norming prevented them from getting settlement payouts. In Davenport’s case, he claimed that a doctor initially diagnosed him with dementia, but the NFL appealed and demanded his test scores get curved using race-normed data, which resulted in a reversal of the diagnosis.

Clearly the goal here was to maximize profits at the expense of black players.

Come to think of it, “Maximize profits at the expense of black players,” could be the motto for the NFL.

That’s What I Thought You’d Say, You Dumb F%$#ing Horse Trainer

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When an athlete is caught doping, generally I blame the athlete first and foremost.

I make an exception in the case of Kentucky Derby winner Medina Spirit, because sane people to do not assign the same level of agency that they would to a human athlete.

On the other hand, I do ascribe a level of agency to Bob Baffert, Medina Spirit’s trainer, and when he claims that Churchill Downs’ decision to revoke his horses win, and to suspend him is, “Cancel Culture.” 

So says a guy who for Medina Spirit is the, “fifth horse in 13 months to test positive,” and before that his, “Horses have failed 29 drug tests.”

And he’s blaming, “Cancel culture,” for his juicing horses.

He’s a complete tool, but I am grateful to have the opportunity to adopt one of John Mulaney’s best known lines.

This Has Gotta Hurt

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It appears that even CrossFit is sick and tired of Marjorie Taylor Greene’s antics:

With every pull-up, power snatch, and hotel-room burpee, Marjorie Taylor Greene used CrossFit to build her brand, from gym owner to the House of Representatives’ most visible far-right conspiracy theorist. Before and during her political rise, CrossFit’s headquarters ignored Greene’s existence and her praise of the company’s workout programs — until now.

CrossFit for the first time disavowed Greene after BuzzFeed News asked in February about her history of calling for violence against political enemies, support for QAnon, attempts to undermine the 2020 presidential election, and amplification of other dangerous and deceptive nonsense. “CrossFit supports respectful fact-based political dialogue to address our common challenges, and we strongly oppose the loathsome and dangerous lies attributed to Ms. Greene,” Andrew Weinstein, a CrossFit spokesperson, told BuzzFeed News.

………

CrossFit has attempted to revamp its image — but without alienating a large swath of its supporters — after former CEO and owner Greg Glassman resigned in June 2020. That’s when BuzzFeed News published his leaked call with affiliate owners where he questioned why the company would mourn George Floyd’s killing and where he spread vicious racist and QAnon-adjacent conspiracies. In its wake, CrossFit athletes announced that they would boycott the brand’s marquee event, the CrossFit Games, unless new leadership were installed. Gym owners canceled their affiliations and changed their names.

Since CrossFit was founded, it has been a welcome space for conservatives, gaining early traction with law enforcement and military members. Under Glassman, the company’s brand was built on a “libertarian” and machismo philosophy and fostered a tough culture. CrossFit’s statement criticizing the views of a pro-military Republican member of Congress shocked long-term members.

“It ends up by saying we don’t support this lady, which is a pretty hard stance to take especially for CrossFit being as tied to it is to the military and generally the conservative movement,” a member of CrossFit’s new Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Council told BuzzFeed News after hearing the statement.

BTW, am I the only one who thinks that Marjorie Taylor Greene might be abusing anabolic steroids as a part of her fitness regime?

It would explain her behavior, but then again, I’m an engineer, not a psychiatrist or endocrinologist, dammit.*

(Full disclosure: I have a family member who is prominent in CrossFit.)

*I love it when I get to go all Dr. McCoy!

Going Down the Wikipedia Rabbit Hole

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I am sure that most of you have experienced this, you look up something, and you go to the Wikipedia page, and there is an interesting link, and you go there, and before you know it, you have clicked on 20+ different links, and you are looking at something completely unrelated to where you started.

Well, I did this today, I was looking up the comedy team of John Clarke and Bryan Dawe, after posting their classic sketch, The Front Fell Off, and I ended up on the sport of ferret-legging.

Ferret legging is a sport in which men (and it is almost always men) stuff ferrets down their trousers, and the one who can do this for the longest time wins:

Ferret-legging was an endurance test or stunt in which ferrets were trapped in trousers worn by a participant. Also known as put ’em down and ferret-down-trousers, it seems to have been popular among coal miners in Yorkshire, England. Contestants put live ferrets inside their trousers; the winner is the one who is the last to release the animals.

Ferret-legging may have originated during the time when only the relatively wealthy in England were allowed to keep animals used for hunting, forcing poachers to hide their illicit ferrets in their trousers. Following a brief resurgence in popularity during the 1970s, it has been described as a “dying sport”, although a national ferret-legging event was held in Richmond, Virginia from 2003 to 2009.

Description and rules

In the sport of ferret-legging, competitors tie their trousers at the ankles before placing two ferrets inside and securely fastening their belts to prevent the ferrets from escaping. Each competitor then stands in front of the judges for as long as he can. Competitors cannot be drunk or drugged, nor can the ferrets be sedated. In addition, competitors are not allowed to wear underwear beneath their trousers, which must allow the ferrets free access from one leg to the other, and the ferrets must have a full set of teeth that must not have been filed or otherwise blunted. The winner is the person who lasts the longest.

The sport is said to involve very little “native skill”, simply an ability to “have your tool bitten and not care”. The former world champion, Reg Mellor, is credited with instituting the practice of wearing white trousers in ferret-legging matches, to better display the blood from the wounds caused by the animals. Competitors can attempt, from outside their trousers, to dislodge the ferrets, but as the animals can maintain a strong hold for long periods, their removal can be difficult. The ferrets are occasionally put inside the contestants’ shirts in addition to their trousers. An attempt to introduce a female version of the sport—ferret busting, in which female contestants introduced ferrets down their blouses—proved unsuccessful.

This is profoundly weird, and having been exposed to the story Sredni Vashtar by Saki at a young age, it is certainly not a sport that I have any interest in participating in, though right now I am craving a piece of buttered toast. (It’s Passover, so I am REALLY craving a piece of buttered toast)

The Nefarious Ammosexual Agenda Forces Its Way into Our Houses of Worship

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In Oregon, a girl’s softball team in Lake Oswego raffled off an AR-15 to fund a team trip.*

A pastor there did not like this, and when he found that tickets were already sold, he bought a large number, in the hopes of getting the weapon, and destroying it.

Well, he won the raffle/rifle, and announced his plans, and the gun fondler crowd started issuing death threats and demanding his prosecution:

The Rev. Jeremy Lucas brought an olive branch to a gun fight recently, hoping for a mellow outcome. It began when he won a semi-automatic rifle in a local raffle, then revealed his plan to destroy it and was mostly congratulated for his stand.

But the 44-year-old Episcopal priest’s token attempt to take another gun off the streets did little to keep the peace. In response to his gesture, Lucas got threats and demands for his arrest.

………

Lucas grew up in Alabama owning and shooting guns. But he sees the AR-15, America’s most popular rifle, as a danger to society. It is one of the weapons of choice among today’s mass shooters, from Sandy Hook Elementary in 2012 to the shooting last month of four teens, three fatally, by another teen near Seattle.

………

When news about his win and plans to destroy the gun began to spread, Lucas got Facebook thank-yous from relatives of some of the Sandy Hook victims and encouragement from hundreds of others.

Donors replenished the $3,000 he’d used from the church coffers and then some. Bishop Michael J. Hanley, head of the Episcopal Diocese of Oregon, sent his huzzas as well. “It was a wonderful thing and actually filled me with a certain amount of glee that he could pull it off,” Hanley said in a statement. “Probably more of us need to act in this way, jumping into the unknown consequences of doing good deeds.”

But not everyone saw it that way.

Some unhappy commentators suggested Lucas had violated Oregon’s new gun law by failing to have a background check conducted on a parishioner to whom he’d given the weapon for safekeeping.

Then there were the “critics and trolls” on social media and on news websites, Lucas wrote on his blog, “lobbing their hate and vitriol.”

There are lots of responsible gun owners out there, and then there is the Ammosexual contingent, who shouldn’t be trusted with a butter knife.

*I know what you are thinking, “In Oregon, you must be kidding?” That’s because you don’t know that Oregon in the 1920s was the most KKK dominated state in the nation.†
†Oregon’s original constitution literally banned black people from the territory.

Yes, Ping Pong Balls are Hazardous Cargo

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Don’t try this at home. Seriously!

I don’t know if you’ve ever lit a ping pong ball on fire, but it’s a rather exciting thing. (I have done so)

They are made from celluloid, the highly flammable material that movie film was once made of, and lighting even one ball can sate the little pyromaniac in many of us.

A truck load of ping pong balls is literally hazardous cargo, which is why the Rio games has moved to “Polyballls”, which contain no celluload.

These are not flammable, and they bounce in much the same way, but they are having some durability issues:

The Olympics is apparently dealing with its own version of deflategate.

Matches in Rio de Janeiro have ended with balls that look like they combusted from being smashed — even though players haven’t changed their pressure in any way. It’s a new and frustrating problem in a game marred by hiccups like a green pool and then, a fart-smelling green pool.

That’s because the official balls of 2016 are made of a new non-celluloid material that inhibits durability, says David Brasfield, a customer service representative at Paddle Palace, the official ball supplier of the United States Table Tennis team. What’s worse is that this problem isn’t limited to the DHS ball that’s being used in Rio de Janeiro; all new polyballs are facing similar ball-busting problems.

Despite the growing pains, the switch to non-celluloid balls was practically a necessity because of the severe fire hazard posed by celluloid balls. “We can now have a large quantity of balls come by air quickly, and we couldn’t have done that before,” points out Brasfield; previously, containers of celluloid balls had to be delivered by hazmat trucks with flammable solid warnings plastered all over them.

Mostly though, I am posting this for the the burning vid.  I could watch this all day.

Later, I’ll show you a trick with a dry cleaner bag.

Adding to the List of They Who Must Not Be Named

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I’ve always though that the Olympics was a Petri dish for corruption, violent nationalist tendencies, and egregiously bad “journalism”.

This year, it appears that NBC has outdone itself in its coverage.

It’s bad.

It’s really bad.

It’s really, really, really bad.

Seriously, it ain’t good.

I’m adding the Olympics, and discussions of Olympic coverage to my list of They Who Must Not Be Named, absent something of Munich level catastrophe.

NBA Does the Right Thing

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I’m rather shocked that the NBA is pulling the 2017 All Star Game from Charlotte because of North Carolina’s anti-gay law.

I don’t expect sports leagues to do the right thing, so I am pleasantly surprised:

The NBA announced Thursday it will move the 2017 All-Star Game from Charlotte due to North Carolina’s law that bars local governments from extending civil rights protections to gay and transgender people.

“The NBA has decided to relocate the 2017 All-Star Game from Charlotte with the hope of rescheduling for 2019,” the league said in a statement.

“While we recognize that the NBA cannot choose the law in every city, state, and country in which we do business, we do not believe we can successfully host our All-Star festivities in Charlotte in the climate created by HB2,” as the law is commonly known.

Yeah, I Guess Kasich Is the Best They Have

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Today, Donald Trump (but you already guessed that) wondered in a speech how former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno was doing.

It appears that Trump forgot that:

  • Paterno was fired a because he covered up the activities of a serial child rapist.
  • Jo Paterno is dead.

Oops:

Speaking at a rally in Pittsburgh, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump mentioned late Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, who died in 2012. Paterno was fired from the school and his statue removed after Jerry Sandusky’s sexual abuse of children came to light. (Reuters)

Pandering to local crowds is a staple of political campaigns everywhere, and Donald Trump’s is no different. But the key to successful pandering is knowing to whom you’re speaking and, of course, what you’re saying.

Trump was way off base on both those counts Wednesday, when he spoke before a crowd of supporters at a rally in Pittsburgh.

“I know a lot about Pennsylvania, and it’s great,” Trump said. Which is standard-issue stuff, but then things got awkward.

“How’s Joe Paterno?” Trump asked. “We’re gonna bring that back? Right? How about that whole deal?”

Paterno, for those who may have forgotten (including, possibly, a certain presidential candidate) died in 2012. (Wait, is bringing him back from the grave an essential part of making America great again?)

His campaign is now claiming that he was asking if the coach’s statue was returning to the State College campus.

No.  Trump had a brain fart that makes John Kasich look like Stephen f%$#ing Hawking, only, of course, Stephen Hawking is a far more inspiring speaker.

This is Brilliant Politics

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Rather unsurprisingly, Bobby Jindal has left the finances of the state of Louisiana in a mess.

His successor, Democrat John Bel Edwards realized that the state needs to raise taxes to fix the mess that he inherited.

He has come up with a new way to sell revenue measures, he’s holding the LSU Football program hostage:

Louisiana’s new Democratic Governor John Bel Edwards is pushing for new tax increases to help address the severe budget deficit left behind by former Governor Bobby Jindal. The problem: Voters in Louisiana are allergic to the very word tax.

Edwards took his case to the public in a televised address on Thursday night, warning that inaction on his proposed increases could jeopardize the holiest of all institutions: LSU football.

The state’s higher education commissioner warned this week that unless the legislature acts to provide funding for the public university system, it will have to suspend some classes for the spring semester and give students grades of “incomplete.” Because of NCAA rules, no athlete may compete for his or her team with an “incomplete” on their transcript, meaning that LSU’s football players will be ineligible come the fall semester.

 Nice to know someone who understands his electorate, and is willing to use this effectively.

It Ain’t just the Caucuses that are F%$#ed up In Iowa

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There is a bill being mooted in the Iowa Senate proposing that Stanford University be published because their marching band is too mean.

There is something seriously wrong here, even without the whole “Bill of Attainder” thing:

………

 Stanford’s football team defeated the University of Iowa 45-16 in the game. In addition, the Stanford band, which has a history of irreverent performances, poked fun during the halftime show with a dancing cow, a frowning farmer formation and other tongue-in-cheek gestures that upset some Iowans. ESPN, which televised the game, cut away from the band’s performance. State Sen. Mark Chelgren, R-Ottumwa, told The Des Moines Register at the Iowa Capitol on Wednesday that he introduced Senate File 2081 because he believes Stanford officials have condoned improper behavior by the marching band. “I think it’s unfortunate because here in Iowa we try to teach sportsmanship,” Chelgren said. “We try to teach courtesy, and when someone behaves in a way that is contrary to that, we need to point it out.”

 Good thing we can all ignore Iowa again until the 2018 state fair.

Seriously, what the actual f%$#?

The Snake Had Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy

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Another victim of repeated head trauma in the NFL, only this time it is a quarterback, Ken Stabler of the Oakland Raiders:

Former Oakland Raiders quarterback Ken Stabler, who died in July at the age of 69 of colon cancer, was found to have suffered from chronic traumatic encephalopathy, the degenerative brain disease found in people who have had repeated blows to the head, according to a researchers at Boston University.

Stabler’s diagnosis is the latest in a line of former NFL players who have been found to have the disease. Scientists in Boston said that on a scale of one to four, Stabler had high stage three CTE.

“He had moderately severe disease,” Ann McKee, the chief of neuropathology at the VA Boston healthcare system and a professor of neurology and pathology at Boston University school of medicine, told the New York Times.

………

After his death, Stabler’s brain was removed and donated to researchers at the NFL’s “brain bank” at Boston University, who spent months dissecting it for clues as to why the quarterback’s mind declined in his final years. During the last few years of his life, Stabler rapidly slowed down in his cognitive functions. He began complaining of a high-pitched ringing in his head, couldn’t handle bright lights or loud noises, and began repeating himself.

McKee, who conducted the examination, called Stabler’s case “pretty classic”.

“It may be surprising since he was a quarterback, but certainly the lesions were widespread, and they were quite severe, affecting many regions of the brain,” McKee, who conducted the examination, said. “There was no question about the diagnosis.”

If this happens to a quarter back, it happens to everyone on the field.

Mothers, do not let your kids play football.

Putin Wins Troll of the Day Award

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Vladimir Putin handed out a couple of ringing—if not entirely official—endorsements to two of this year’s most notorious men: Donald Trump and suspended FIFA President Sepp Blatter. During his annual press conference on Thursday, the Russian president praised Donald Trump, calling the frontrunner in the Republican primary race a “bright and talented person,” according to the Associated Press. He also welcomed Trump’s calls for improved U.S-Russia relations.

A recurring theme among GOP presidential candidates is whether they possess the negotiating chops to deal with the Russian strongman. It appears Trump and Putin would be bosom buddies. (Trump has previously said he thinks he’d get along with Putin “very well.”)

Putin also handed out praise to Sepp Blatter, who’s facing a criminal investigation in Switzerland for allegations of corruption. Blatter, Putin said, is “a very well respected person.”

“He has always tried to treat football not as a sport but as an element of cooperation between countries and peoples,” Putin added. “He is the one who must be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.”

 Seriously, he is just poking us with a stick for his personal amusement.

And I Sit in Front of My Monitor, Looking lIke a Cow That Just Stepped on Its Own Udder

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I’ve just discovered that, among the international sports federations, the world Soccer organization FIFA is the 2nd Least corrupt:

A study conducted by Play the Game/Danish Institute for Sports Studies, and published in October 2015, found that on the basic criterion of good governance, Fifa ranks second among the 35 Olympic international sports federations with a Sports Governance Observance index of 67.8 percent.

Yes, the same Fifa that was raided by the police for the second time on Wednesday, resulting in more arrests of its officials. The same Fifa against whose officials US government officials revealed a new indictment that alleges “an even more extensive network of criminal behaviour across dozens of countries and that involved some of the most powerful people in international soccer,” according to The New York Times.

What the f%$#ing f%$3?

We are living in Bizarro world.

H/t Naked Capitalism. 

The Stupid, It Burns!

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In Canada, a Yoga class has been canceled because of accusations of cultural appropriation:

In studios across the nation, as many as 20 million Americans practice yoga every day. Few worry that their downward dogs or warrior poses disrespect other cultures.

But yoga comes from India, once a British colony. And now, at one Canadian university, a yoga class designed to include disabled students has been canceled after concerns the practice was taken from a culture that “experienced oppression, cultural genocide and diasporas due to colonialism and western supremacy,” according to the group that once sponsored it.

In a telephone interview with The Washington Post, Jennifer Scharf, who taught the class for up to 60 people at the University of Ottawa, said she was unhappy about the decision, but accepted it.

“This particular class was intro to beginners’ yoga because I’m very sensitive to this issue,” she said. “I would never want anyone to think I was making some sort of spiritual claim other than the pure joy of being human that belongs to everyone free of religion.”

Oh, you poor delicate flowers.

On a related note, I am starting a charity, the Association of Cranial Rectal Inversion Disease, (ACRID) for people with their heads chronically up their asses.

H/T Stephen Saroff      o o  The Bear who Swims      
                        (_)_____o      
                     ~~~~(______)~~~~~~~~~~
                         oo    oo

Obama Foreign Policy in One Photograph

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It turns out that Henry Kissinger and Samantha Power have been hanging out at ball games and talking diplomacy. (It’s an ESPN link, life is weird)

Samantha Power is the UN Ambassador, and has been an important adviser to Obama since his first Presidential campaign, and we get this:

But the 90-year-old former Secretary of State knows baseball, and has been an avid Yankees fan since his youth. Power, on the other hand, can detail decades-old at-bats in the Bronx-Boston rivalry, but from her vantage point as a fervent Red Sox fan. The Irish-born ambassador even wrote this essay for The Boston Globe after the Red Sox won the World Series in 2013.

For 30 minutes, as the van negotiated traffic from the East Side of Manhattan to the Major Deegan, Power and Kissinger discussed baseball and diplomacy. The two are natural allies, given his experience and her current work at the United Nations, which included the passage Thursday of a resolution to send 12,000 peacekeepers to the Central African Republic, from where Power had returned that morning.

Power would have a few other issues she’d want to discuss “between pitches” in the owner’s box, but the conversation began with the subject of the Red Sox and Yankees rivalry.

What follows is a delightfully chatty interview of the two of them, about how wonderful it is for them to talk baseball and world domination foreign relations.

It appears that there is far less space between Kissinger’s policy of homicidal realpolitik and Samantha Powers’ policy of muscular liberal interventionism than one would otherwise imagine.

Isolationism is beginning to look a lot more attractive to me.

H/t naked capitalism.