Category: Food

What I Did Today

I shoveled the f%$#ing driveway, for the 2nd time in a f%$#ing week.

At least the snow was lighter than the last time, and between the powdery nature of the snow, and the wind we got some of those wind-sculpted funny snow shapes.

I’ve never seen this phenomenon this far south before.

Well, At least the snow plows found their way our tertiary road, finally, today.

After I was done, and to be fair the kids shoveled a path to the mailbox for us and the mail man, I thought that I deserved a beer, so I drove to the liquor store, and picked up a 6 pack, because, dammit, I deserved a beer.

Took the wife and kids to Java Mama’s for hot chocolate and sweets,

As to my beer, I bought Victory Brewing Company‘s Hop Devil, which is a nice, and inexpensive, brew from a small Pennsylvania brewery/brew pub.

It’s a bit over-hopped, but that’s kind of obvious from the name, but it’s from near by and fresh.

On my 2nd bottle.

Snowed In

At least 14 inches so far, on top of the 24+ inches last week, and school has been canceled for the whole week.

What to do?

I make soup. I just put the blending stick to split pea soup.

I got a soup/pea packet at the grocery store, and followed the recipe, adding onions, celery, carrots, and (my Sharon’s* suggestion) a parsnip.

I also added cubed pastrami, which I cooked in cheese cloth, so that the meat flavored the soup, but II could pull the meat out when I blended it, and then I add the meat back to the soup.

Off to a late lunch.

*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.
I know that ham and a ham bone is traditional for split pea soup, but if I were to use ham in my house, on my wife’s dishes, my continued ability to breath would be in doubt, so no thank you, I like breathing.

Another Reason for the Islamic World to Hate Us

We are trying to poison them.

You see, Vegemite is now Halal:

VEGEMITE has gone halal in a bid by food giant Kraft to make the national “treasure” available to Muslim Australians.

The label on Australia’s most famous spread has changed in recent months to include halal certification in a move some have described as “ridiculous” political correctness.

“Islamic communities are proud Australians and they want to be able to eat our national icon as well,” Kraft spokesman Simon Talbot said.

I think that this qualifies as chemical warfare.

10……9……8……7……6……5………

Happy new year.

I actually posted it some hours before, and set this to post just before midnight, as I am by this point 3 sheets to the wind courtesy of the products of Rudolph Jelníek, specifically Slivovitz.

It’s highly unlikely that I will be hungover tomorrow, as I have a trick that prevents this: my genetics.

Something about my Eastern European Jewish heritage prevents this.

I’ve never been hung over.

Deep Thought

To paraphrase Nietzsche, expecting children to queue up politely for sweets, like the bite of a dog into a stone, is a stupidity.

We were at Hanukkah party for the kids in the Beth Israel religious school…Cookies, doughnut holes, home made Hanukkah gelt, etc.

And people were surprised when the kids did not queue up at the table in an orderly manner.

Another Economic Indicator

One of those friends that I’ve never met in meat space, Bill Volk of the mobile device software company Playscreen was at the AdTech converence in New York city. His ovservation (along with his pic on the right):

The AdTech conference in NYC is JAMMED. The line to get badges for pre-registered attendees was over 1000 people long with a one hour wait.

Advertising can be a leading indicator.

He lives in California, and noted that he had the first real bagel since the last time he was in NYC.

You can get them here, in Baltimore, Goldbergs Bakery, where you can sometimes watch them boil the bagels before baking.

Anyone know where real bagels can be found in Southern California?

Oh My God!

KFC’s Double Down Sandwich:

Contents:

  • 1 fried chicken patty
  • 2 slices of cheese
  • 2 slices of bacon
  • Yet another fried chicken patty.

Yep, the fried chicken fillets are in place of the bread, which means, I guess, that it is cool for Atkins folks.

According to the KFC PR flaks, the nutritive…..Value? Is as follows:

  • Calories: 590
  • Calories from fat: 280
  • Total fat: 31g
  • Saturated fat: 10g
  • Trans fat: 0g
  • Cholesterol: 190mg

Great googly moogly. If I ever get one, I will have to wash it down with a can of Jolt Cola.

Wish Me Luck

I’m competing in a medieval cooking competition today called Trial by Fire, it starts at noon, so I’ve set this to show up at noon.

The cooking is done under camping conditions, and I am doing a main dish, and a dessert.

The main dish is Maghmūma with Asparagus, from a translation of Annals of the Caliphs’ Kitchens

Ingredients:

  • 4 lbs lamb, cut to about ½” cubes.
  • 2 lbs asparagus
  • 2 large white onions, chopped
  • 1cup ground walnut
  • 1 large leek, chopped
  • 4 eggs, large
  • 1 can chickpeas (garbanzos) 1 lb (actually 15½ oz) drained.
  • 1 can black olives (5.75 oz) chopped and drained.
  • ½ tbsp soy sauce
  • 3 tsp coriander seeds, cracked.
  • 1 tbsp fresh cilantro
  • ½ tsp black pepper
  • ¼ cup + 1 tbsp olive oil (will be using lamb fat)
  • Dough (see below)
  • ¼ tsp salt and to taste

Take asparagus, and blanch, and then cut into small disks, roughly ¼” thick, or chop.

Take Dutch oven, and place on burning coals to heat, melt approximately 1 tbsp. of olive oil (lamb fat), then take the lamb and brown in Dutch oven.

Add chickpeas, leeks, onions, cilantro, and ¼ tsp of salt, and add about 2 inches of water, and cook until meat is done (5-10 minutes).

Add asparagus, olives, ground walnuts, and 2 tsp of the coriander seeds.

Take eggs, and beat them, and add remaining coriander seeds, black pepper, and soy sauce to them, and then add to the pot and stir.

Cook until almost all the free liquid has left the pot.

Taste, and add salt as desired.

Remove most of the coals, and prepare dough (below), and then place on top of the meat/egg mixture. Brush top with oil, then place hot coals on top of the lid and cook until dough is done, about 30 minutes.

Invert pot onto platter, and serve

Top (bottom) Crust Recipe
Based on a yeast biscuit recipe, and informed by the recipes for Aqrās Mumallaḥa (Medieval Arab Cookery), and Khubz al-Qanānī or bottle bread from (Annals of the Caliphs’ Kitchens)

Ingredients:

  • 1 pkg. dry yeast
  • 1 c. warm water
  • 3 tbsp. soft shortening (will be lamb fat)
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 2 tbsp. sugar
  • 2 1/2 c. flour
  • Approx 1 tbsp. lamb fat liquefied.

Dissolve yeast in warm water and ½ tsp. sugar in a large mixing bowl, wait until you see it froth up.

Add shortening (lamb fat), salt, remaining sugar and flour; mix well.

Allow 1 hour for dough to rise

Brush the liquefied fat on the outside of the dough.

Knead 15-20 times on floured board, brushing on liquefied fat each time you fold the dough.

Roll out approximately 1/2-inch thick and shape to match the top of the pot.


Tabīkh Ḥabb Rummān (The “mess of cooked pomegranate seed”)
From Medieval Arab Cookery

Ingredients
:

  • ½ cup white sugar
  • 1 tbsp fresh mint, chopped finely
  • 1 cup pomegranate juice
  • 2 cups ground almonds.

Take pomegranate juice and sugar and combine, and stir until sugar is dissolved.

Add ground almonds, mix until smooth, then wait at least 15 minutes to for the almonds to soak up the liquid and thicken.

Add chopped mint.

Add oil to pan, and heat until oil shimmers.

Add the batter to pan to make 9-12 inch pancakes, and then turn down heat to medium low. When the mixture has stiffened, the edges will turn a dark brown, flip and cook other side until brown.

Cut into wedges when it has cooled,

Should you choose to make cookies, I would recommend that you bake them in an oven on parchment paper.

They Were Photographing Me from Black Helicopters Today

Because I was in the back yard, preparing Maghmūma With Asparagus, it’s a sort of an Arab pot pie called a “covered dish” from the book From Annals of the Caliphs’ Kitchens, translated by Nawal Nasrallah. It dates from the 1400s or so.

I was doing it in the fire-pit of my smoker, because I was checking out the recipe for “Trial by Fire”, a medieval cooking competition that is conducted under camping conditions, which means that I was preparing Arab food outside, which means that the FBI was surveilling me.

I know what you are saying: This guy has gone completely around the bend. Totally paranoid. The FBI isn’t profiling people because they eat Middle Eastern cuisine.

You know, what you are saying right now sounds right, but unfortunately, the FBI IS profiling people because they eat Middle Eastern cuisine:

Hoping that spikes in falafel and tahini purchases in the Bay Area would blaze a trail to Iranian secret agents, in 2005 and 2006, the FBI mined grocery store records for Middle Eastern food sales in the South San Francisco-San Jose area. According to Congressional Quarterly, the project didn’t last long and didn’t lead to any falafel-related prosecutions.

Not only is this morally wrong and unbelievably f$#@ing stupid, but it actually happened.

This is why civil rights and limits on law enforcement matter: because without these limits, law enforcement can, and will engage in the most abusive dumb-ass behavior imaginable.

BTW, the Maghmūma turned out very well, as did the crust, though next time, I’ll crack the coriander seeds.

Just When You Thought that Wal-Mart Could Not Get Any More Evil…..

They have made a corporate decision to attempt to destroy Girl Scout cookie sales:

What could Wal-mart possibly do to harm Girl Scouts?
Wal-mart has copied the Girl Scouts’ two best selling cookie types, Thin Mints and Tagalongs.

Wal-mart is selling Fake Girl Scout Cookies.

Wal-mart has fake Girl Scout cookies in ‘beta’ distribution, on their way to a national rollout. Because the cookies are ‘reasonable facsimiles’ of the authentic Girl Scout cookies (I sampled them myself at BlogHer ‘09 last week) and are being sold at an everyday low price, these cookies are poised to snatch cookie sales right out of the hands of the Girl Scouts themselves.

Remember, the funds from girl scout cookie sales go to their programs, things like camping trips, etc.

It must be the uniforms….It reminds Mal-Mart management of unions, so this organization must be crushed.