Category: Funny

Evolution Disproved!

I just hurt myself laughing:

In a severe blow to the credibility of evolutionary science, biologist Richard Dawkins admitted today that Darwin’s theory of evolution could offer no rational explanation for the continued existence of creationists. The process of natural selection sees genes which provide an advantage in the battle for survival being preserved across generations, but scientists can find no useful purpose for the gene which leads people to believe that the earth was created in only six days about 10,000 years ago.

Solipsism as proof of Genesis.

Breaking News: Wall Street Salary Caps Drive Away Assholes!

From the ever reliable Andy Borowitz:

As the federal government moves to institute salary caps for Wall Street executives, an increasing number of assholes are seeking employment elsewhere, a study confirmed today.

According to the report commissioned by the University of Minnesota’s School of Business, at a time when the economy needs experienced hands at the tiller, some of the financial world’s best-trained dickwads are fleeing the ship.

….

I need a screen wipe.

It Was My Wife’s Birthday a Few Days Ago

And the kids made her breakfast, though their real gift was helping her cleaning for Passover.

In any case, they made her oatmeal with fresh strawberries, and my daughter Natalie also made her decaf coffee with chocolate, and strawberries.

Strawberries? Great googly moogly! My wife did gamely manage to get it down, and it’s sweet, but I need to instruct Natalie in the ways of coffee.