Category: Funny

Columnist proud member of Slimed by O’Reilly Club: HeraldTimesOnline.com

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I had a similar experience once. I was the subject of a front page editorial of the Black student paper at U. Mass, Nummo News.

I did not realize this until I got numerous high-5s at the student senate meeting that day.

Columnist proud member of Slimed by O’Reilly Club

By Mike Leonard H-T columnist
June 26, 2007
PHILADELPHIA — I didn’t win the prestigious Ernie Pyle Lifetime Achievement Award last weekend at the 31st annual conference of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists.

That honor went to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune.

I didn’t win the next-most revered prize, the Will Rogers Humanitarian Award, which recognizes a columnist whose good works extend beyond the printed page.

That went to Mike Harden of the Columbus (Ohio) Dispatch.

I didn’t win anything, actually. No prizes in the “general interest,” “humor” or “items” categories. Not even the enigmatic “Jeff Kramer Mystic Memorial Tie,” which is presented to the columnist who comes up with the most over-the-top example of intentionally bad writing in a competition staged during the conference.

But I can brag that no one at the annual columnists’ conference received more pats on the back, hearty handshakes and “Way to go!” congratulations.

I got slimed by Fox News program host Bill O’Reilly. It was a little like having a skunk tell you that you smell bad. Many of my colleagues expressed envy.

Each year, columnists who attend the conference submit one column for inclusion in a booklet distributed to attendees. Knowing that the bombastic host of “The O’Reilly Factor” would be a speaker at the conference, I mischievously offered up a May column I’d written concerning the Fox News host. Basically, the column was about the blowback from O’Reilly and Fox after Indiana University researchers analyzed more than 100 episodes of “The O’Reilly Factor” and concluded that the program host is a propagandist whose techniques are “heavier” and “less nuanced” than the notorious 1930s radio commentator Father Charles Coughlin.

Frankly, I didn’t expect O’Reilly to read the columnists’ booklet. But I was thrilled to see that he’d ripped my handiwork out of the bound volume and carried it up to the lectern with him. Roughly 13 minutes into his address and after repeated admonitions that people hate us, O’Reilly asked if Mike Leonard of the Hoosier Times was in the audience. (Stories printed off our Web site indicate they are copyrighted by the Hoosier Times, the parent company of the Bloomington, Bedford and Martinsville papers).

“Sorry, Mike, but you’re a dishonest guy in this column,” O’Reilly charged.

“Right back at you, Bill,” I shouted.

O’Reilly went on to deride the IU study, using the same rhetorical tools the study exposed: name-calling, distortion and inferences that lead his viewers to unfair and imbalanced conclusions.

He claimed, for example, that Fox has a “brain room” where researchers meticulously analyze information for and about Fox News. He said they studied the IU research and reported the following:

“The first few times they submitted the study, Mike, it was rejected. Rejected!” O’Reilly said. “The methodology was faulty, all right?”

…

Only in Wisconsin

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Maybe only in Green Bay, but Milwaukee would be likely too.

I can’t imagine this in Madison. I can see a Merlot Mania race there.

19th annual Beer Belly Two goes over without a hitch

1,800 to 2,000 take part in charity run

By Kelly McBride
kmcbride@greenbaypressgazette.com

SUAMICO — A beautiful morning provided the perfect excuse to get moving — and drinking — for an estimated 1,800 to 2,000 participants in Sunday’s Beer Belly Two.

Final participation totals won’t be tallied until later this week, but a last-minute registration push likely will mean a high turnout for the 19th annual event, organizer Bob Mayer said Sunday.

In fact, the number of last-minute registrants translated to a slight delay for the start of the 10:30 a.m. race, he said.

“Just about 20 after 10, there were hundreds of people signed up to register yet,” Mayer said. “There were, I think more (spectators), too.”

In keeping with Beer Belly Two tradition, runners and walkers had their choice of water, beer or root beer at water stops along the course. After the race was over, organizers held an awards ceremony in the parking lot of the nearby post office.

No injuries or health concerns were reported during the race, Mayer said. But as in years past, there were some participants who preferred the slow and steady approach to getting to the end.

“You always get the people who stop at the beer stops,” Mayer said, “and hardly make it to the finish line.”

….

Someone In NASA or the ESA Loves the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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Maybe, it’s happenstance, but I think that it’s the turtles.

Think about it, Leonardo, Donatello, and Raphaelo. Some Italian turtles fan?

NASA Nears Decision on Permanently Attached MPLM

Aviation Week & Space Technology
06/11/2007, page 33

Michael A. Taverna
Turin, Italy

NASA nears decision on MPLM; European inflatable and robot concepts advance

Printed headline: Housecleaning

Thales Alenia Space says it’s close to clinching a deal with the European Space Agency and NASA to modify a Multi-Purpose Logistics Module so it can be permanently moored to the International Space Station once the shuttle is retired.

Such a plan–intended to add pressurized storage space needed to reduce clutter in living and working areas of the ISS–has been “kicking around for a while,” says Dino Brondolo, the company’s director of infrastucture programs, but has grown in priority as NASA confirmed its decision to phase out the shuttle by 2010. A green light would have to be given by the fall in order to complete modifications in time for the final MPLM mission, he says.


This X-45C tailless flying wing represents the fourth generation of stealth that protects against detection by low-frequency radars as well as it does against traditional high-frequency air defense sensors.Credit: BOEING

NASA is working out final specifications and discussing a barter acquisition arrangement with ESA and Italian space agency (ASI) for the plan, along the lines of previous agreements involving two new interconnecting modules, Node 2 and 3, and the Cupola astronaut viewing station, all of which, like MPLM, were built by Thales Alenia. Brondolo rates the chances for a go-ahead as “good.”

Carried in the shuttle cargo bay, the 21-ft.-dia., 15-ft.-long MPLM can supply up to 10 metric tons of pressurized cargo to and from the station, arranged on 16 standard racks. Attached to the ISS, it would provide an additional 70 cu. meters of volume–comparable to the Columbus or U.S. habitation modules–freeing up storage space for other functions.

Three vessels were initially procured from Thales Alenia, for a design life of 25 missions each. However, because of the drastic reduction in shuttle missions, only two–Rafaelo and Leonardo–have flown since their inaugural flight in March 2001, and they have totaled only seven missions between them. The third ship, Donatello, is set for a sole mission in January 2009. Only two other flights are currently planned–Leonardo in October 2008 and Rafaelo in July 2009.

If there had been 4, it would have been named Michaelangelo.

George Bush’s watch Hits eBay

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I have been told that a different camera angle disproves the theft story, but the fact that someone is hawking a phony watch on eBay is funny.

George Bush’s watch clocked on eBay

George Bush’s watch clocked on eBay
On its way to Oz via Kazakhstan
By Lester Haines → More by this author
Published Wednesday 13th June 2007 15:43 GMT
Mobile computing: Opportunities and risk – Free whitepaper

It didn’t take long for George Bush’s wristwatch – allegedly swiped on Sunday by Albanian former godless Commies – to pop up on eBay.

Sadly, there’s no photo at present to back up the sale, but the vendor does give a very good reason:

I bought this watch from an Albanian friend, he claims to have “borrowed” it from George Bush.
Click here to find out more!

I can’t prove it’s an Authentic Dubya timepiece, (It has a Mickey Mouse face, as opposed to the Presidential Seal) but it’s certainly a nice watch.

Obviously the watch is second hand, however it’s in mint condition.

…

Christofascist/Talibaptist Creation Museum Hires Man Who Did Sexually Explicit Vids

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Let me repeat: HA HA!!!!

Fundies, this is God’s way of saying that you are blithering idiots.

Actor’s Risque Past Halts ‘Adam’ Film By JULIE CARR SMYTH, Associated Press Writer

Thursday, June 7, 2007

(06-07) 17:50 PDT Columbus, Ohio (AP) —

The man who plays Adam in a video aired at a Bible-based creationist museum has led a different life outside the Garden of Eden, flaunting his sexual exploits online and modeling for a clothing line that promotes free love.

After learning about his activities Thursday, the Creation Museum in Kentucky pulled the 40-second video in which he appears.

“We are currently investigating the veracity of these serious claims of his participation in projects that don’t align with the biblical standards and moral code upon which the ministry was founded,” Answers for Genesis spokesman Mark Looy said in a written statement.

The actor, Eric Linden, owns a graphic Web site called Bedroom Acrobat, where he has been pictured, smiling alongside a drag queen, in a T-shirt brandishing the site’s sexually suggestive logo. The Web site, which has a network of members, allows users to post explicit stories and photos.

He also sells clothing for SFX International, whose initials appear on clothing to spell “SEX” from afar. It promotes “free love,””pleasure” and “thrillz.”

Linden, a graphic designer, model and actor who grew up in Columbus, said he is no longer affiliated with the Bedroom Acrobat site, and had handed the domain name off to somebody. Ownership records available through the NetworkSolutions database show Linden registered the site 18 months ago.