Category: Schadenfreude

They Can’t Even Get Arrested in This Town

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I am referring, of course to the group of Christo-Fascist bigot whack-doodles who call themselves that Christian Anti-Defamation Commission, who protested the expansion to the hate crimes law outside Department of Justice headquarters.

It turns out that the law requires, that one explicitly plan, or actively incite violence against a protected group, so they could not get themselves arrested, though they did attract counter protesters, who quickly owned them:

No hands were cuffed. In fact, the few cops in attendance were paying no attention to the speakers, instead talking among themselves and checking their BlackBerrys.

The evangelical activists had been hoping to provoke arrest, because, as organizer Gary Cass of the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission put it, “we’d have standing to challenge the law.” But their prayers were not answered. Nobody was arrested, which wasn’t surprising: To run afoul of the new law, you need to “plan or prepare for an act of physical violence” or “incite an imminent act of physical violence.”

Instead of getting arrested, the ministers got something else: A couple of dozen gay activists, surrounding them with rainbow flags and signs announcing “Gaga for Gay Rights” and “I Am a Love Warrior.” By the end, the gay rights activists had taken over the lectern and the sound system and were holding their own news conference denouncing the ministers.

The kicker to all this:

Cass turned angrily to the AV guy. “We’re not on the clock, are we?” He turned with equal anger to Valk. “You guys gonna help us pay for the microphones?”

The gay activist smiled. “God,” he said, “works in mysterious ways.”

In this case, God took the form of Chuck Fazio, from DC Podiums. Fazio was hired by the religious conservatives to provide the sound system for the event, but upon learning of their cause, he decided to donate his proceeds to the gay rights activists and to give them a chance at the microphone before shutting down the amplifiers. “I don’t want bad karma,” he explained, noting with some pride that the lectern they were using was the same one used by Borat on a recent Washington visit.

(emphasis mine)

Heh.

NY-23 is Getting Jiggy

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So, I told you about how the the national wingnuts had driven the Republican candidate, Dierdre “Dede” Scozzafava, who was among the more conservative members of their caucus in the New York State Assembly, out of the special election in New York’s 23rd Congressional district in favor of Conservative Party (it’s a New York thing) candidate, heavy duty wingnut Doug Hoffman..

She suspended her campaign, and now she has officially endorsed Democratic candidate Bill Owens:

I want to thank you for your support and friendship. Over the past 24 hours, I have had encouraging words sent to my family and me. Many of you have asked me whom you should support on Tuesday.

Since announcing the suspension of my campaign, I have thought long and hard about what is best for the people of this District, and how to answer your questions. This is not a decision that I have made lightly.

You know me, and throughout my career, I have been always been an independent voice for the people I represent. I have stood for our honest principles, and a truthful discussion of the issues, even when it cost me personally and politically. Since beginning my campaign, I have told you that this election is not about me; it’s about the people of this District.

It is in this spirit that I am writing to let you know I am supporting Bill Owens for Congress and urge you to do the same.

It’s not in the cards for me to be your representative, but I strongly believe Bill is the only candidate who can build upon John McHugh’s lasting legacy in the U.S. Congress. John and I worked together on the expansion of Fort Drum and I know how important that base is to the economy of this region. I am confident that Bill will be able to provide the leadership and continuity of support to Drum Country just as John did during his tenure in Congress.

In Bill Owens, I see a sense of duty and integrity that will guide him beyond political partisanship. He will be an independent voice devoted to doing what is right for New York. Bill understands this district and its people, and when he represents us in Congress he will put our interests first.

Please join me in voting for Bill Owens on Tuesday. To address the tough challenges ahead, we must rise above partisanship and politics and work together. There’s too much at stake in this election to do otherwise.

Dede

I have no clue how this will effect the race, and I agree with people who say that Owens is, at best, a Liebercrat.

I’m not that concerned about the effect of changing the party what would of the least senior congressman for the next year and a half, but the sound of wing-nut heads exploding is sweet.

(On edit)

Frank Rich wrote about it, and it’s titled, “The G.O.P. Stalinists Invade Upstate New York.”

Heh.

This is Not a Business Lunch

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So, after Mark Sanford “hiking the Appalachian Trail,” Joe Wilson heckling a presidential speech, and those Republican County Chairman going on about how good Jews are with watching their money, one wonders what other shoe will drop from the South Carolina Republican party to as they continue the program to help employment by making Stewart’s, Colbert’s, O’Brien’s, Letterman’s, and Leno’s Job easier.

Well, wait no more. There is Assistant Attorney General Roland Corning, who wages a war on the business lunch that makes the fictional “war on Christman” look like an arcade game.

It appears that Corning, age 66, was hanging out in his car at a graveyard with an 18 year old stripper, along with Viagra and sex toys, and when police officer Michael Wines showed up in a marked car, Corning, “attempted to make a hasty retreat, spinning the tires in the driveway and accelerating rapidly.”

It gets better. When finally apprehended, the police verify who he is by calling the Attorney General’s office, where his wife answers the phone, and then rats him out to the notifies Attorney General, who fires his flabby white ass.

The high point of the police report:

The search revealed a sex enhancement drug and some sex toys. According to the report, Corning told Wines he had a prescription for the medication and the other items were always in the car “just in case.“

(emphasis mine)

Just in case….Yeah sure….I always carry sex toys and Viagra in my car….Why do you think that they call them “Jumper Cables.”

Your Moment of Schadenfreude

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!So, it looks like yet another organization has had to downsize. It’s moving out of its headquarters, in the heart of Washington, DC, which they moved into about a year ago, because it’s too expensive for them now.

Who is this organization? Why it’s the Mortgage Bankers Association, of course, who have discovered that their new $76 million dollar digs are no longer affordable:

Since the purchase in May 2008, the U.S. economy has suffered one of the most severe recessions in a century, and the residential and commercial real estate markets have materially deteriorated. These factors, coupled with a challenging leasing environment, led the MBA Board to conclude that continued ownership of 1331 L Street was economically imprudent, and over the long term would impair MBA’s ability to continue providing our members with MBA’s full range of services.

My guess? That they got f$#@ed over by the fine print in their mortgage.

Heh

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Mount Vernon, Washington decided to hold a Glenn Beck day, because he is a native son of that town.

May be this was a really stupid idea:

Glenn Beck Day in Mount Vernon was an expensive lesson for this small town, as it found out the cost of hosting a controversial celebrity.

It’s on the hook for $17,748.85, mostly for 239 hours of police overtime.

….

Well, says Ken Bergsma, the town’s police chief, better to be prepared than not.

The chief says the crowd of 800 to 1,000 demonstrators that greeted Beck for his early-evening appearance on Sept. 26 was the biggest protest he’s seen in his 32 years as a Mount Vernon police officer.

The city council officially distanced themselves from the Mayor’s decision when he made it, and it turns out that they were right, to the tune of almost 18 grand, which is not a small amount of change when the town has a population of 26,232.

There is, and should be, a cost to honoring people whose raison d’être simply self promotion and ego.

So, Were they F&^%ing Each Other, or Just Justice and the Taxpayer?

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Bummer of a birth mark, Chris

So, Chris Christie is running for Governor of New Jersey, and we know that he made a $46,000.00 loan to his close aid, Michele Brown, that he neglected to mention on his disclosure forms, but he claimed that she had done nothing for his campaign.

Oops, maybe she did a little:

But interviews with federal law enforcement officials suggest that Ms. Brown used her position in two significant and possibly improper ways to try to aid Mr. Christie in his run for governor.

In March, when Gov. Jon S. Corzine’s campaign requested public records about Mr. Christie’s tenure as prosecutor, Ms. Brown interceded to oversee the responses to the inquiries, taking over for the staff member who normally oversaw Freedom of Information Act requests, according to federal law enforcement officials in Newark and Washington. The requested information included records about Mr. Christie’s travel and expenses, along with Ms. Brown’s travel records.

In mid-June, when F.B.I. agents and prosecutors gathered to set a date for the arrests of more than 40 targets of a corruption and money-laundering probe, Ms. Brown alone argued for the arrests to be made before July 1. She later told colleagues that she wanted to ensure that the arrests occurred before Mr. Christie’s permanent successor took office, according to three federal law enforcement officials briefed on the conversation, presumably so that Mr. Christie would be given credit for the roundup.

So, it’s clear that she has been a mole for Christie in the US Attorney’s office, someone who he mentored and who repaid the favor, but though reporter, David Halbfinger, does imply that there might have been a bit more was going on:

Those records, which the Corzine campaign has parceled out to news organizations, have already proved embarrassing to Mr. Christie. News stories last week said the records showed Mr. Christie often stayed at expensive hotels on the taxpayers’ dime, routinely exceeding per diem rates set for Justice Department officials.

Additional records provided in raw form by the Corzine campaign and analyzed by The Times show that Ms. Brown accompanied Mr. Christie on 16 trips, the bulk of them in 2007 and 2008. They were often accompanied by a junior prosecutor, Kevin O’Dowd.

I really do not care about who Chris Christie f%$#s, but it is clear that he did his best to use his position as US Attorney for maximum partisan advantage, including the fact that he, “Discussed a run for governor with Karl Rove in 2006,” an action which which is expressly forbidden under federal law.

I’m not sure if this will drive voters to Jon Corzine, but if this doesn’t, it’s likely to drive people to independent candidate Chris Daggett, and Christie has already frittered away a double digit lead on this.

I Hope That She Brings Her Toothbrush

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Well, it appears that the has fined birther whack job Orly Taitz $20,000.00 for misconduct, and Taitz has stated that she has no intention of paying.

Judge Clay Land who heard Ms. Taitz’s pleadings has written a 43 page explanation of the fines., and I’ve skimmed it and it’s harsh.

I do not think that she will have a license to practice law by this time next year.
Scrollable PDF below the break.

Republican Family Values

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Michael Duvall, Assembly Utilities and Commerce Committee Vice Chairman was caught on tape bragging about having affairs with two lobbyists.

The money quote:

I’m getting into spanking her and yeah I like it..

Ummmm….Ewwwwwwww!!!

In any case, he has been removed from two of the committees he serves on, one would assume the ones that the lobbyists “served”.

He also talks about her underwear…..Ummmm…..Ewwwwwww!!!!!

But he’s a family values kind of guy:

Such thinking impressed certain constituencies. Earlier this year, the man who never graduated from high school received ‘100 percent’ approval scores 
by the California Republican Assembly, the state’s leading conservative outfit, and the Capitol Resource Institute (CRI), a fierce guardian of traditional family values.


Great googly moogly…I though that I had rather uninhibited tastes during my single days,* but I had the good sense not to brag to everyone in the room, on a live mike.

*Full disclosure: Said “uninhibited tastes” were mostly in my imagination…I was a geek.

I Guess That They Are Morally Superior

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Stephen is on the left, Melina is on the Right

The former assistant dean at Pat Robertson’s Regent University, formerly CBN University, and his wife, Stephen and Melina Mcpherson, pled guilty to sexually abusing three teenage sisters at Hope Haven Children’s Home.

Court records show the McPhersons manipulated the teens into submitting to fondling, kissing and other sex acts. They cited Bible verses that they said justified the abuse and, afterward, would pray together for God’s forgiveness.

It gets better, because he has already pled guilty to forcible sodomy and object sexual penetration on two of the girls.

I guess that the members of the religious right are just better than the rest of us.

Seriously, Tartuffe looks less and less like a comedy every day.

H/t Pam’s House Blend.

Irony and Schadenfreude Alert

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Doug Manchester, hotelier and big money backer of “traditional marriage” defender in California, he spent big on proposition 8, is getting a divorce from his wife of 43 years.

What’s more, it appears that he is doing his level best to play hardball with his soon to be ex, draining joint accounts, concealing assets, and stiffing some of his grand children on private school tuitions.

Now, there is some marriage that we can stand behind.

Punk’d

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It now appears that the was a practical joke designed specifically ensnare the birthers.

It’s looking more and more like the forged “Kenyan birth certificate” released by Orly Taitz on Sunday was a prank by a supporter of President Obama. Politijab points to an anonymous blogger at FearlessBlogging, who has uploaded four photos of the original forgery and a mocking declaration:

Fine cotton business paper: $11

Inkjet printer: $35

1940 Royal Model KMM manual typewriter: $10

2 Shilling coin: $1

Pilot Varsity fountain pen: $3

Punkin’ the Birthers: Priceless

Morons.

Bueller???? Bueller????*

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Yes, as Felix Salmon notes, with no small amount of exhultation, the New York Times has fired Ben Stein as a columnist.

Of course, it was not his deliberate lies, nor his stupidity that got him, but rather the fact that he was cashing in on his Times gig in a way that did not generate them money:

NYT spokeswoman Catherine Mathis confirmed this, telling Gawker that “Ben Stein’s fine work for us as a columnist for Sunday Business had to end, we told him, after we learned that he had become a commercial spokesman for FreeScore, a financial services company.”

More’s the pity that he got the gig in the 1st place.

*A reference to what was John Hughs’ best movie. The director and writer of teen angst flicks died yesterday.

Light Night Comics Must Love Republicans

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Because this stuff writes itself.

Case in point, the rebounding scandal of John Ensign’s affair and his payoff of his mistress and her husband, where we now discover that , “His lawyer has just released a remarkable statement saying that Ensign’s parents paid the Hamptons $96,000 after the 51-year-old senator told his Mom and Dad about the affair.”

Republican family values….Things go bad, and rich daddy bails you out.

Mark Sanford Returns from Narnia*

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My bad, he was in Argentina, not hiking in Appalachia.

Oh, and while he was there, he was screwing some chippie, as he admitted at his press conference.

Real classy guy. He apologized to his girl friend and the press before he apologized to his wife, see video below.

He’s resigning as chairman of the Republican Governors’ Association, which means that he’s suffered enough, so <Chris Crocker>leave Sanford alone!!!</Chris Crocker>

Meanwhile, the emails between the two of them have been leaked, and the late night comics will have a field day with this.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

*Not my joke, I got it from Cthulhu.†
†No, not the unspeakably malevolent super-being, the contributor to the Shortskoolbus BBS.‡
‡OK, I’ve never seen the two of them together, so Cthulhu might actually be the Cthulu, but the mere fact that he is on a BBS, interacting with humans§ would seem to mitigate against this.
§Yes, I know, this is the internet, where no one knows if you are a dog.

This Entire John Ensign Affair Thing Has Taken a Sinister Turn

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The blockbuster here appears to be that another Senator, Tom Coburn of Oklahoma, was present at at least some of the discussions on this matter between Ensign and his former staffer, though it also appears that there is the suggestion that Ensign was stalking Ms. Hampton after the relationship ended.

Well, it appears that Senator Ensign was slowly backing away from the allegations of extortion over the past few days, and law enforcement has said that there have been no allegations of such.

What is interesting is that Doug Hampton, the cuckolded husband seems to have felt threatened about something, because he sent a letter to Fox News about claiming that he was threatened about 5 days before Ensign went public, and while Fox denies having tipped him off, they now admit having received the letter.

It appears that someone there tipped off the Senator to this, and now that the contents of the letter have been leaked, we’re hearing rumblings of potential extortion again, only Ensign’s office is suggesting that it was his council, who they have not named.

So, murmurings of extortion, but no names, for now, I am betting that this is Bullsh&%.

My guess is that the sequence of events is as follows:

  1. Affair occurs. (agreed to by all sides)
  2. His colleagues in the Senate confront him about the affair in February of 2008
  3. Stalking or a vendetta by Ensign.
  4. Letter to Fox News.
  5. Fox sits on the letter.
  6. Fox tips off Ensign.
  7. Ensign goes public, and starts spreading rumors about extortion.
  8. Ensign’s office starts floating an extortion smear.
  9. Reporters start checking with law enforcement, find no evidence of extortion.
  10. Ensign’s office backs off extortion smear.
  11. Las Vegas Sun gets a copy of the letter, which makes Ensign look like Kathy Bates’ character Annie Wilkes from the movie Misery.
  12. We start hearing the extortion smack again.

Pass the popcorn

Text of Doug Hampton’s letter to Fox News:

Thursday, June 11, 2009
Fox News- Corporate Office
1211 Avenue of the America’s (sic)
New York, New York 10036

Megyn Kelly,

More than any time in my life I understand why people take matters into their own hands. I am disheartened! I have sought wise counsel, tried to do the right thing and continue to run into road blocks (sic) in dealing with a very terrible circumstance and injustice that lives in my life. I am hoping you and Fox News can help.

My name is Doug Hampton. I am a former employee of US (sic) Senator John Ensign. I worked for Senator Ensign in his official government office on Capitol Hill from November 2006 to April 2008. My responsibilities were the oversight of his personnel in Washington as well as the state of Nevada. Duties included budgets, policy and public speaking on behalf of the Senator and his initiatives.

Here is my story. In December of 2007 in the midst of some very difficult personal issues that deeply impacted my family and marriage, Senator Ensign pursued and engaged in a relationship with my wife. Our families were lifelong friends, our children attend school together to this day, and our homes are in neighborhoods across from each other. My wife was the Senator’s campaign treasurer.

There is a tremendous amount (sic) of details and critical facts associated with this story and their relationship that will not be addressed in this letter but are very important and need to be further explored if you choose to meet with me. The purpose of this letter is to establish the framework for discussion and provide enough information to warrant a meeting with you and Fox News. This is the only letter of its kind and no other news stations have been contacted with this information. I have great respect and affection for Fox News and many of your collages (sic). I’m sending this to you because you have a legal back ground (sic) and this story has several legal elements.

The unethical behavior and immoral choice of Senator Ensign has been confronted by me and others on a number of occasions over this past year. In fact one of the confrontations took place in February 2008 at his home in Washington DC (sic) with a group of his peers. One of the attendee’s (sic) was Senator Tom Coburn from Oklahoma as well as several other men who are close to the Senator. Senator Ensign’s conduct and relentless pursuit of my wife led to our dismissal in April of 2008. I would like to say he stopped his heinous conduct and pursuit upon our leaving, but that was not the case and his actions did not subside until August of 2008.

The actions of Senator Ensign have ruined our lives and careers and left my family in shambles. We have lost significant income, suffered indescribable pain and emotional suffering. We find ourselves today with an overwhelming loss of relationships, career opportunities and hope for recovery. Our pursuit of justice continues to place me and my family in harm’s way as we fear for our well being (sic).

Today, Senator Ensign’s responsibility and stature have increased within the US (sic) Senate. His is currently the head of “Policy” for the Republican Party, the number four position within the Parties (sic) leadership team. We on the other hand are completely ruined and left to deal with the aftermath of very evil and completely unjustifiable acts by one of our countries (sic) top leaders.

It appears there may be nothing the law can do to correct and bring justice and restitution to (sic) this terrible wrong that has been done to us. I have sought a number of lawyers who are having difficulty finding charges that may hold up in court. There are either technicalities that exist due to the time period in which I have sought help, or other nuances that quite frankly make no sense to me given the egregious acts and blatant abuse of power by Senator Ensign. From my perspective this whole nightmare is terribly wrong and completely unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

I clearly understand this story is difficult to believe for anyone reading (sic) for the first time. I too would have difficulty believing it, if someone brought me this story. However I assure you it is true and there are facts, a paper trail, phone records and personal witnesses to testify to its truth. It is my belief we are dealing with a very powerful person and an institution in the US (sic) Senate that only the media can pierce to expose the wrong and bring light and focus to what needs to be done? (sic)

Please help me! This should not be how the leadership of our country should be allowed to behave. I need justice, help and restitution for what Senator Ensign has done to me and my family. Regardless of technicalities, regardless of position, regardless of power this cannot and should not be tolerated in our country from our trusted leaders. Will you help? Will you consider a meeting with me to further discuss this story and what can be done to bring justice and correction to this situation?

I love this country and considered it a great privilege to work in the US (sic) Senate. I am bringing this to you and Fox News to address this professionally and correctly. I could have sought the most liberal, Republican hating media to expose this story, but there are people’s lives at stake and justice is about proper process as well as outcome. Senator Ensign has no business serving in the US (sic) Senate anymore! I will send you and (sic) email as well as leave you and your staff messages in an attempt to meet you and your team as soon as possible. I live and work in Nevada but can be in New York within hours, I look forward to your help.

Sincerely,
Doug Hampton

And yes, I am feeling a bit of Schadenfreude about this, pass the popcorn.