Category: Wanker

Jim Cramer Must Hate Jon Stewart

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These F@#king Guys!

Admittedly, the full 7:47 isn’t about Jim Cramer, just the first 2:28, but anything that finishes with:

You get the sense that if Jim Cramer was around in 1912 he would have said ‘you’re not going to hear this from anyone else, but my sources tell me the Titanic has the best buffet on the high seas. And by the way if you want to get there faster, try the Hindenburg.

Stewart then goes on to the talking heads on the financial networks are describing the case in terms indicative of a, “Traumatic brain injury,” and then he proceeds to describe everything in terms that we can all understand.

And then he gets to Goldman Sachs, and the fact that the fraud division will be getting billions in bonuses, because, I guess, their job is to create fraud, not stop it.

At the end, as a bonus, he describes the Republican mindset on governance.

I want smaller government and my Social Security

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Teabaggers in a nutshell.

It’s not that government is too big, it’s that you are giving money to n*****s:

“That’s a conundrum, isn’t it?” asked Jodine White, 62, of Rocklin, Calif. “I don’t know what to say. Maybe I don’t want smaller government. I guess I want smaller government and my Social Security.” She added, “I didn’t look at it from the perspective of losing things I need. I think I’ve changed my mind.”

Their problem is that a black man is President.

The Ever Reliable Joseph Lieberman

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Remember when I said that Joe Lieberman would be preening to get his face on the Teevee with regard to the new START Treaty?

Well, I was right. He is now calling for what appears to be a massive buildup in European missile defenses and a his desire for an unprovoked nuclear strike on Iran as a condition for his support:

Appearing on “Fox News Sunday,” [big shocker there] the Connecticut Independent suggested that he himself would oppose ratification of the START II Treaty that Obama signed in Prague this past week, in part because, he reasoned, the language left America vulnerable to a nuclear Iran.

“I don’t believe that there will be 67 votes to ratify the treaty unless the administration does two things,” Lieberman said. “First: commit to modernize our nuclear stockpile, so as we have less nuclear weapons we know that they are capable if, God forbid, we need them. And secondly, to make absolutely clear that the statements by Russian president [Dmitry] Medvedev at the signing in program, that seemed to suggest that if we continue to build ballistic missile defense in Europe they may pull out of this treaty, is just not acceptable to us. We need that defense to protect our allies and ourselves from Iran.”

Basically, Lieberman is saying that unless Obama threatens Iran with nuclear attack, and promises to build up the ill-conceived European missile defense system, he’ll vote no.

Yes, he’s with on everything but Iraq, thanks for keeping him in the tent and pissing in, Harry and Barack.

This is all about Joe Lieberman getting his ego stroked, and the solution to this problem is to make it clear that there will be consequences if he f%$#s with this, not to stroke his ego: that only makes him worse.

Here is hoping that he gets caught buggering an underage hamster and will be forced to resign.

Business Lose

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The New Republic, which has over the past 36 years descended from a well respected liberal voice to a a bastion of white ivy-league entitlement, plagiarism, fabulism (making sh%$ up), Republican talking points, and a cut in its publishing frequency, and its circulation, by nearly ½.

Well, in yet another step towards total irrelevancy, the magazine has decided to start charging for “premium” online content, whatever that means.

It’s a magazine that you could not pay me to read, and now they want us to pay them.

Please, God, Let This Be True!

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The rumor is that Larry Summers is dissatisfied with his relative lack of power in the Obama administration, and will soon be leaving.

I am generally not a big follower of the Kremlinology school of politics, which looks obsessively at petty power squabbles amongst the courtiers in the White House, but it appears that Larry Summers, after being denied Treasury Secretary because he was too toxic, was expecting that he would be appointed to replace Ben Bernanke as Fed chair.

Well, Joshua Green at The Atlantic notes that Summers has started demanding perks, such as, I kid you not, “golf dates with the president,”* and that he is most unhappy with his role as head of the Director of the White House’s National Economic Council, and is considering leaving.

Well, all that I can say is, hip hip hurray!

Larry Summers, whatever his academic achievements have been, has been deeply, profoundly and disastrously wrong on every venture into the real world, as evidenced by Mark Ames’ devastating portrait of his performance as a public servant which shows him to be both incompetent and corrupt.

Here’s hoping that Barack Obama does not feel the need to keep him around. Larry Summers is not just the wrong man for these times, he is the wrong time for any times.

Next up, Tim Geithner, and if the Senators place a hold on his successor, then recess appoint Sam Webb.

It is a disaster on both a policy and a politics level to allow senior economic staff to be so captured by wall street.

*Golf Dates? F%$#ing Golf Dates?!?!? How fucking egotistical and petty can you be?

The Latest Faux Conservative Outrage

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Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?

It appears that the right wing media is having a hissy fit over the size of Nancy Pelosi’s gavel:

  • Beck asks if Nancy Pelosi was “inciting” tea partiers with House gavel — “a big hammer.”
  • Limbaugh: Pelosi tried to “provoke” tea partiers by “carrying that big gavel” with “excrement-eating grin on her face.”
  • Michael Graham: Pelosi was “asking for” response by carrying gavel.
  • Tea Party blogger: “It would have been more symbolic had she had a whip.”

Gee, the Republicans see something big, and it makes them feel insecure.

Imagine that.

You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means*

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USA Today headline, “In good sign for economy: Hiring rebounds on Wall Street.”

More Wall Street brokers, cutting more deals, with other people’s money, using more and more opaque instruments is supposed to be a, “Good sign for economy.”

It’s a pity that the author, Paul Davidson, apparently understands neither English nor the economy.

*The quote is from The Princess Bride.

Moron

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California Republican Senate Candidate, Carly Fiorina, who appears to intend to do to the Golden State what she did to Hewlett Packard,*, has now Jewish voters to “break bread” over Passover:

This week, as we break bread and spend time with our families and friends, I hope we also take a moment to say a word of thanks for our freedom and for those who have given their lives in freedom’s name. Let us also look ahead with hope to the opportunities to come.

(emphasis mine)

For those of you who don’t get it, Jews are not supposed to eat bread during Passover. What we eat is Matzoh, which is an unleavened biscuit which has more in common with the box that it comes in than it does with a loaf of bread.

This is really, really stupid, and statement from her PR flak, that, “We meant all bread, leavened and unleavened, and matzo is just unleavened bread so that’s what we meant by that,” is just plain lame.

Matzoh is not bread, as any of the millions of Jews who are Jonesing for a piece of bread right now can tell you, and the idea of describing a Passover Seder (ritual festival meal) as “breaking bread” is wrong on so many levels.

The stupid, it burns us!

*When she was fired employees sprang into spontaneous song, singing, “Ding, Dong, the witch is dead!”

Full letter follows

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Carly Fiorina
Date: Mon, Mar 29, 2010 at 11:09 PM
Subject: Best wishes for a safe and happy Passover

Carly for California

Passover is a time of remembrance and thanks. This festival provides us all — Jewish, Christian and all faiths — an opportunity to reflect on the challenges we have faced and the triumphs we have achieved together. It is also a reminder of the resilient spirit that has carried people through trials of every kind through every generation.

This week, as we break bread and spend time with our families and friends, I hope we also take a moment to say a word of thanks for our freedom and for those who have given their lives in freedom’s name. Let us also look ahead with hope to the opportunities to come.

Best wishes for a safe and happy holiday.

Sincerely,

Carly Fiorina

contact@carlyforca.com
www.CarlyForCalifornia.com

915 L Street, Suite C-378
Sacramento, CA 95814
877-664-6676

Paid for by Carly for California

We Now Have a Video of a Teabagger Spitting on Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.)

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People Who Don’t Read the Constitution

So much for all the Teabaggers, as well as Sean Hannity, denying that it ever happened.

Someone does not understand congressional immunity:

…shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony, and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their attendance at the Session of their Respective Houses, and in going to and from the same, and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

(emphasis mine)

A congressman in that position could have pulled out a gun and shot the protesters dead,* and shot them dead, because they are immune from almost all prosecution.

Doubtless any member of the House or Senate who did this would be expelled in short order, but prosecution would be complex, to say the least.

*Take my legal advice with a grain of salt, I’m an engineer, not a lawyer, dammit!†
†I LOVE IT when I get to go all Doctor McCoy!!!

Just Bloody Marvelous

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It appears Orrin Hatch, who voted against the healthcare bill, and is claiming that the healthcare bill is unconstitutional, still managed to insert ¼ billion in funding for abstinence only education.

Great.

These programs don’t work, and in fact the only effect appears to be encourage higher risk behavior, like anal sex, but the Republicans have gotta pay off a constituency, and for some reason, the Dems have let them.

F%$# that.

Wanker of the Day

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Charles Grassley, who took less than 24 hours to take credit for the good parts of the healthcare bill:

Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) has long been a vocal critic of the Democrat’s health reform efforts, but today he started taking credit for some provisions of the bill, and talking up his own role in crafting the legislation.

In a release sent out by his staff to reporters today, Grassley says the bill will “hold tax-exempt hospitals accountable for the federal tax benefits they receive” thanks to his work.

If you recall, Grassley bought into the whole death panel bullsh%$, and spread every lie possible in an attempt to kill the bill, and now he is trying to take credit for the good parts.

Full statement after the break:

M E M O R A N D U M

To: Reporters and Editors

Re: tax-exempt hospitals provisions in new health care law

Da: Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Sen. Chuck Grassley, ranking member of the Committee on Finance, with
jurisdiction over taxes, has worked to hold tax-exempt hospitals accountable for the federal tax benefits they receive. The health care legislation signed into law yesterday includes provisions Grassley co-authored to impose standards for the tax exemption of
charitable hospitals for the first time. The bill requires that a hospital complete a community needs assessment once every three years and adopt and publicize a financial assistance policy; prohibits billing those who qualify for financial assistance the top rates; and prohibits a hospital from taking extraordinary collection actions if the hospital has not made reasonable efforts to notify patients of its financial assistance policy.

The bill also requires the IRS to review the tax-exempt status of each hospital every three years; requires Treasury and Health and Human Services to submit an annual report to Congress on the level of charity care, bad debt expenses and the unreimbursed costs of means-tested and non-means-tested government programs; and requires Treasury and HHS to provide a report in five years on the trends on the items reported on an annual basis.

Grassley made the following comment on the advancement of these provisions.

“Tax-exempt hospitals don’t have many measures of accountability for their special status. The law hasn’t given them much direction, and so they’ve defined standards for themselves. Sometimes that’s resulted in providing very little charitable patient care or other community benefits, failing to publicize charitable care to patients, charging
indigent, uninsured patients more than insured patients, and using very aggressive collection practices. The Government Accountability Office and others, including the former IRS commissioner, have said for a long time that there is often no discernible difference between the operations of taxable and tax-exempt hospitals. These new provisions are modeled after principles and polices that the Catholic Health Association has had in place for years. I appreciate the association’s willingness to have honest, forthright conversations about charitable hospitals’ activities. The provisions take steps to differentiate tax-exempt hospitals from for-profit hospitals and provide further transparency about tax-exempt hospitals’ fulfilling their charitable mission. Congress, the IRS, and the public will now have additional tools and information to ensure that charitable hospitals act charitably.”

The provisions enacted in the new health care law are the result of
Grassley’s leadership on tax-exempt organizations’ accountability and
transparency, including hospitals. In 2005, he sent letters of inquiry to some of the nation’s largest tax-exempt hospitals. In 2006, he convened a hearing and released a summary of the hospitals’ responses. In 2007, he released a staff discussion draft of potential legislative reforms and convened a roundtable of experts to discuss the potential reforms. In 2008, he followed up with letters of inquiry to more hospitals and received a report he’d requested from the Government Accountability Office. In 2009, he drafted legislative reforms and succeeded in persuading the Democratic majority to include several of the reforms in the new health care law.

OK, I Understand You Have to Hire a Right Winger

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But do you have to hire a really stupid right winger?

Forget Erickson’s politics and whether you agree with them. It’s not whether he’s on the left or the right that matters — it’s the way he expresses his beliefs that’s the problem. Among other things, he’s had readers send fake dog poop to Rep. Earl Pomeroy, D-N.D., because of the congressman’s support for his party’s healthcare reform proposals, he’s celebrated Chicago’s losing the 2016 Summer Olympics by writing, “Obama’s pimped us to every two bit thug and dictator in the world,” he’s said that “leftists celebrate each and every death of each and every American solider because they view the loss of life as a vindication of their belief that they are right.”

I’m not asking that they find a smart wingnut, but at the very least, they should find someone who does not need help to cut his own meat, you know, someone who can at least pretend to have two brain cells on the teevee, see Will, George.

What Miserable Excuses for Human Beings

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The usual suspects, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Malkin, and News Busters (Scott Whitlock & Tim Graham), who decided that it was somehow ethically good to smear an 11 year old boy who simply said, that he did not want other little boys to lose their mothers because of a lack of health insurance.

Why anyone buys any products from people who advertise with them is beyond me.

These are evil people, and not only should we not patronize their sponsors, we shouldn’t piss on them if they are on fire.

</rant>

Who Says That Irony is Dead

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David Malpass, a former Bear Stearns economist is running for US Senate seat from New York against Kirsten Gillibrand.

I guess that he had to run, because serial killer Theodore Bundy is dead.

What is his pitch? That, “We need jobs and growth,” and that taxes are too high.

Seriously dude, you used to work for Bear Stearns. The idea that you are going to somehow create jobs, when you were at the epicenter of an epic collapse that you were in part responsible for is simply ludicrous, but he finishes up with this:

We need financial reform legislation but one that gets us toward more jobs and growth, not one that gets us toward more Washington

Does he really think that the voters are stupid enough to hand him the keys to financial reform?

You know, a campaign slogan of, “I know how to stop crime, because I was a criminal,” might sell in Louisiana, but not in New York.

H/t Americablog.

Can We Please Give Texas Back to Mexico?

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Separated at Birth?
Dennis Rader, the BTK Killer, and Don McLeroy the Outgoing Chairman of the Texas Board of education

So, it’s official, the Texas Board of Education has excised Thomas Jefferson from their history books, and replaced him with religious fundamentalist John Calvin. (See also here)

We also have an attempt to rehabilitate red-baiter Joe McCarthy, and poster child for sex without partners Newt Gingrich, and it gets really, really, stupid.

Seriously let’s give them back to Mexico, and let the federales pry their guns from their cold, dead fingers.

What’s to Love About Obama Care?

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Well, if it passes, Rush Limbaugh says that he will leave the counrty:

“If the health care bill passes, where would you go for health care yourself?” a caller asked Limbaugh on his radio show Tuesday.
Story continues below…

“I’ll just tell you this, if this passes and it’s five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented — I am leaving the country. I’ll go to Costa Rica,” Limbaugh replied.

OK, I’m feeling a bit better about the Senate plan.

Deep Thought:

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When you work at the Washington Post, and you report stories on Rahm Emanuel that are so slanted that it appears that they have been written by Rahm Emanuel, you are lame.

When these articles become so wankerrific that David Broder, the high priest of the Beltway Kool Kidz Klub feels compelled to call the authors as well out by name, chastizing Dana Milbank and Jason Horowitz, you are dealing with a density of wankertude which is almost unimaginable.

When you realize that he is also criticizing the paper running this story, The Washington Post, and the fact that Broder himself works at the Washington Post, the level of wanking at what Atrios calls the Kaplan test company is approaching a point where the paper is risking a collapse into some sort of wanking black hole.