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Category: Weird
The Mouse for the OCD Sufferer
Or maybe the hypochondriac germphobe Iogear touts anti-bacterial mouse.
This is the kind that manipulates a cursor, not the cheese eating kind.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
China is implementing a law that requires state permission for reincarnation.
It appears that this is all a cunning plan * by the Chinese government to game the system for finding a successor to the Dali Lama when he dies.
Then again, it could just be bureaucratic bloody-mindedness, something the Chinese quite literally invented over 3000 years ago.
*A plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!
Osama Has Already Defeated Us.
So, let me get this straight, a group of beer swilling runners are marking a trail for a run, and it gets treated as a possible terrorist attack?
If the goal of terrorism is to create terror and panic, Osama bin Laden has already defeated us.
Two people who sprinkled flour in a parking lot to mark a trail for their offbeat running club inadvertently caused a bioterrorism scare and now face a felony charge.
The sprinkled powder forced hundreds to evacuate an IKEA furniture store Thursday.
New Haven ophthalmologist Daniel Salchow, 36, and his sister, Dorothee, 31, who is visiting from Hamburg, Germany, were both charged with first-degree breach of peace, a felony.
Story continues below ↓advertisementThe siblings set off the scare while organizing a run for a local chapter of the Hash House Harriers, a worldwide group that bills itself as a “drinking club with a running problem.”
We are a bunch of scared rabbits, aren’t we?
WMD Finally Found by UN
Unfortunately, they found it in in Manhattan, in the UNMOVIC files.
It appears to be Phosgene, and luckily no one was hurt. It was taken from an inventory of a 1996 inspection in Iraq.
Yes Virginia, There is a Panty Clause
Well, actually Atlanta, Georgia, where some moron city councilman in Atlanta wants to ban baggy pants that allow underwear to show.
The embarrassing part is that he’s a Democrat.
Would the good people of atlanta please make him a former coundilman?
The Judge Gave You 500 Quid for What???
It appears that a man held up a bookie with pretending that a “rabbit” vibrator was a handgun.
One of the bookie’s customers (they are legal in the UK), Wayne Vakani, followed the man out, and managed to secure enough information, a hat from which the police drew DNA evidence, that the police were able to nab the perp.
The judge awarded Mr. Vakani £500 for his bravery.
I do understand that his actions were actually brave, he didn’t know it was not a gun, but I can imagine the ribbing that he is going to get from his buddies, something like, “Drinks on you mate, you’ve got the cash after standing up to a phony pickle wielding maniac.”
He’ll never hear the end of it.
Condom Schwag
When one goes to trade shows, one tends to come back with “schwag”…The free stuff that they hand out at the tables….Typically, this is things like pencils, erasers, calendars, water bottles, etc. all with a logo on them.
Some times, the vendors can get creative, as one did at the recent Force Protection Equipment Demonstration:
Words fail me.
Things That I Never Thought I’d Read
Care of Defense Tech:
Like me, you’ve probably stayed awake countless nights wondering, “Did the Brits ever make plans for a nuclear landmine, powered by chickens?”
Well, dear reader, I’m here to tell you that the answer is yes.
The interesting thing is that this is far less shocking than some of the things that British Cooks do to chickens.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
OK…That’s odd, it appears that
a motorcyclist failed to notice that he had lost his leg below the knee: “Company worker Kazuo Osada, 54, was on a jaunt with 10 other bikers yesterday when he failed to negotiate a bend. However, he was ‘unaware his right leg had been severed below the knee apparently because his attention was focused on the strong pain he felt from the crash’, according to police.”
‘Tis but a scratchThere is a 175 Foot 6 Year Old Who is Looking for His Toys
These numbers are preliminary off the cuff calculations based on the size of the Giant Lego man found floating in the ocean off the Dutch coast.
When lifetime rolls around, there will be a critical shortage of both peanut butter and jelly throughout Holland.
The question is whether this was somehow a lost promotional display, or a wickedly funny practical joke.
My guess is the first, but I’m wishing for the 2nd.
Still a Few Bugs in Consumer GPS Systems
The directions they give may be no better than those of Cletus B. Hounddog, so take their advice with a grain of salt. Case in point, a woman, and her £96,000 Mercedes River Sence in Sheepy Magna*, Leicestershire.
Of course, someone who is willing to pay £96K ($US 195K) for a car, probably has more money than brains.
*Sheepy Magna????? Now that is a screwy name. A quick Google finds this:
Sheepy, (from the old english sceap + eg meaning ‘island or dry ground in the marsh where the sheep graze’), straddles the River Sence from Fieldon Bridge, the boundary with Atherstone and also the county boundary with Warwickshire. Sheepy is divided into two parts Great Sheepy or Sheepy Magna and Little Sheepy or Sheepy Parva, each with it’s own ancient manor. Sheepy Magna also includes the Hamlets of The Mythe and Pinwall, The Mythe may well have had it’s own manor but Pinwall was a Grange of Merevale Abbey. Newhouse Grange was also part of the Merevale estate and remained annexed to the parish of Merevale until 1885.
…..
Small F#$%ing World, But I’d Hate to Paint It.
I was in the lunch line today, waiting to wrap my food, and the guy ahead of me was having problem with cling wrap. (have to wrap the food if you leave the cafeteria)
I made a comment about the stuff being the bane of everyone’s life, and he looks up, and goes “Matthew Saroff!!!“
It was Scott Campanella, who ran member services for ages at Arisia*. He’s also at BD, but he works at a different building in the industrial park.
Small bloody world.
I think that we’ve both picked up a bit of weight (I KNOW I have), and he’s gotten all the hair that I’ve lost (that picture in the profile is 28 years old).
On a note of meta, I’ll be changing the blog address today, to something a bit more mnemonically friendly (i.e. NOT misspelling the word “forty” ). I’ve already figured out how to autoforward from this addy.
I’m working on this, so posting will be light.
*Arisia is a science fiction convention in Boston that I founded in the early 1990s, I ran the first two.
Remember, Always Wear Seat Belts…If Nothing Else
Here we have the story of a head on collision with a happy….relatively death free ending.
Collision involved naked couple
Investigators think that alcohol was a factor in a head-on collision in Comal County on July 18 in which two victims were pulled from their car naked.
“The only thing they had on was the radio . . . and their seat belts,” Department of Public Safety Cpl. Rick Alvarez said.
On the evening of July 18, Lisa Marie Bishop, 25, of Austin was driving north on FM 1102 north of New Braunfels when she went around a curve and swerved into the southbound lane, crashing head-on to a truck driven by Juan Montoya, 49, of New Braunfels, Alvarez said.
Montoya was not injured. Bishop sustained injuries that were not life-threatening, but her passenger, 26-year-old Robert Rydeen of Austin, was airlifted to San Antonio and was in stable condition Monday, officials said.
Bishop told investigators that she and Rydeen had been at Schlitterbahn Waterpark and had removed their wet clothes for the drive home, Alvarez said. Investigators found some wet clothes in the car as well as evidence of alcohol consumption.
Alvarez said that in his 13 1/2 years as a DPS trooper, he had never before investigated a crash involving nude drivers.
“But she’s from Austin,” he said, “and I figure Austin folks are a little different.”
You think?????
Mackris v. O’Reilly The Oratorio
It’s a baroque classical Oratorio. Falafel and Violins, I guess.
Who Hasn’t Been Tempted to Do This?
It appears that NASA has lost nearly 100 million of taxpayer purchased equipment in the past decade.
It appears that there are few controls in place for about $35 billion of assets.
That being said, the story of the lost laptop is my favorite:
It cites one employee who excused himself (or herself) of losing a laptop worth $4,000 with the explanation that the machine had burned up in the atmosphere.
The lost equipment report included the following explanation: “This computer, although assigned to me, was being used on board the International Space Station. I was informed that it was tossed overboard to be burned up in the atmosphere when it failed.”
That sure as hell beats, “the dog ate my homework”.
You know, if I were in orbit, that’s what I’d do to a computer that was #$%%ing up badly. I’d watch it all the way down.
The Kitty Grim Reaper
It appears that a cat in Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island brings death with its cuddles.
The cat, named Oscar, is normally standoffish, but will cuddle up to people in the last 4 hours or so before death.
Probably something to do with the cat sensing or smelling something that we can’t.
Then again it’s a cat, so maybe it just brings death along.
Thomas Graves, a feline expert and chief of small animal medicine at the University of Illinois College of Veterinary Medicine, described Oscar’s actions as “such a cat thing to do”, but admitted: “Those things are hard to study. I think probably dogs and cats can sense things we can’t.”
Dr Teno concluded: “I don’t think this is a psychic cat. I think there’s probably a biochemical explanation.
More Death cats:
Not sure if the last one is a death cat, but if looks could kill…
This Is Not Funny, It’s Repulsive
It appears that Municipal Judge Michael Cicconetti, of Painesville, Ohio, is a power drunk jerk, which is all the more remarkable since a municipal court judge does not have much in the way of power.
I’d call him a schmuck, but a schmuck has a head.
This might be a cute movie, or a funny Simpsons episode, but in real life it’s an example of abuse of power, and this is not the first time:
It’s not the first time Cicconetti has used barnyard animals in his sentences. He ordered a man who called a policeman a pig to stand next to a live pig in a pen and hold a sign that read “This Is Not a Police Officer.” A couple who stole a baby Jesus statue from a manger were sentenced to dress as Mary and Joseph and walk with a donkey.
I’m upset at the tone of the story too, that says we are all supposed to laugh about it.
Professional misconduct is nothing to laugh about.
This Seagull is a Real Goodfeather
It appears that trhere is a seagull in Scotland that has terned* to life of crime.
It has taken to stealing Nacho Cheese Doritos from RS McColl newsagents in Aberdeen.
*Sorry, couldn’t resist the pun.
Spanish Satire Mag Closed for Speaking Truth
The Regester reports that the Spanish satirical humor magazine El Jueves was been shut down because of a cartoon about the Spanish prince.
All existing copies were collected and destroyed, and the judge ordered the “printing plates” destroyed (not up on modern printing tech, I guess)
The Spanish government has decided to pay €2,500 (about $3500 US) for each child that Crown Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia have.
Well, El Jueves published a cartoon (No, you’ll have to find it on Google) with the Crown Prince and Princess in bed, with the caption, “Do you realise that if you get pregnant . . . It will be the closest thing to work I’ve done in my life?“.
Funny, and made even funnier by the banning.
BTW, there are copies of the magazine on Ebay when I last checked