Possibility of rectal bleeding too.
I’d rather hear Nimoy do the Ballad of Frodo, Or Shatner do “Rocketman”.
It’s the Goatse of music videos.
Category: Weird
How Not To Sell a Magazine
I was reading Dan Froomkin (He’s on my blogroll), and there was this ad for Newsmax:
This won’t get me to buy their pseudo magazine. It just created a Pavlovian association:
NEWSMAX
NEWSMAX
NEWSMAX
NEWSMAX
I Don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t touch that magazine with a 10 foot Anne Heche.
Only in Wisconsin
Maybe only in Green Bay, but Milwaukee would be likely too.
I can’t imagine this in Madison. I can see a Merlot Mania race there.
19th annual Beer Belly Two goes over without a hitch
1,800 to 2,000 take part in charity run
By Kelly McBride
kmcbride@greenbaypressgazette.comSUAMICO — A beautiful morning provided the perfect excuse to get moving — and drinking — for an estimated 1,800 to 2,000 participants in Sunday’s Beer Belly Two.
Final participation totals won’t be tallied until later this week, but a last-minute registration push likely will mean a high turnout for the 19th annual event, organizer Bob Mayer said Sunday.
In fact, the number of last-minute registrants translated to a slight delay for the start of the 10:30 a.m. race, he said.
“Just about 20 after 10, there were hundreds of people signed up to register yet,” Mayer said. “There were, I think more (spectators), too.”
In keeping with Beer Belly Two tradition, runners and walkers had their choice of water, beer or root beer at water stops along the course. After the race was over, organizers held an awards ceremony in the parking lot of the nearby post office.
No injuries or health concerns were reported during the race, Mayer said. But as in years past, there were some participants who preferred the slow and steady approach to getting to the end.
“You always get the people who stop at the beer stops,” Mayer said, “and hardly make it to the finish line.”
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I love Manual Transmissions.
But I’ve never thought of them as an anti theft device.
US car thieves floored by manual gearbox
By Lester Haines
Published Thursday 21st June 2007 10:06 GMTTwo US would-be car thieves failed dismally to make off with a Honda Accord after discovering it had a mysterious manual gearbox, RTÉ reports.
Having menaced the owner with a gun outside a pizza restaurant in Georgia, and relieved him of his wallet and car keys, the pair of teen master criminals prepared to make good their escape. However, according to an employee of the pizza outlet, “they could not start it because it had stick shift”.
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Catholic Church to Abandon Italy
Seriously. Sane driving in Italy is about as likely as a corruption free Washington, DC, or a profanity free New York city.
The only way the Catholic Church can follow these rules is to leave Rome.
Forgive me, Father, for I have tailgated
For L.A. drivers already in gridlock hell, Vatican’s new road commandments strike little fear.
By Bob Pool and Tami Abdollah, Times Staff Writers
June 21, 2007n a city that worships the automobile, it may take divine intervention to get motorists to live by the Vatican’s new Ten Commandments for drivers.
That was the view of motorists as they contemplated “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road” — and whether it was faster Wednesday morning taking the 5 or the 101 between the San Fernando Valley and downtown.
The new road rules call for “courtesy, uprightness and prudence” and condemns the use of cars as “an expression of power and domination” or for sinful purposes.
But while some drivers acknowledged they pray that they’ll find a parking space, they wondered if Vatican guidelines are really the solution to stopping that black Hummer from tailgating on the Santa Monica Freeway.
This week, the Pontifical Council for Migrants and Travelers issued commandments, along with a suggestion that drivers perform the sign of the cross before switching on the ignition. It also recommended reciting the Catholic rosary, whose “rhythm and gentle repetition does not distract the driver’s attention,” as the council put it.
Roadways “shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm,” states the second commandment.
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Swedish man gets benefits for Black Sabbath addiction
Ummmm….I gots to get me to Sweden
Swedish man gets benefits for Black Sabbath addiction
By Jan Libbenga
Published Wednesday 20th June 2007 12:52 GMTA Swedish man is to receive sickness benefits for his addiction to heavy metal music.
The lifestyle of 42-year-old dishwasher Roger Tullgren from Hässleholm in southern Sweden has been classified as a disability by the Swedish Employment Service, which has agreed to pay part of Tullgren’s salary, and his new boss has given him special dispensation to play loud music at work.
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Rudy’s SC Campaign Manager Busted for Dealing Coke
Gee….This is not a good week for Rudy. I feel for him…..OK….I feel amusement about him.
South Carolina treasurer indicted on cocaine charges
COLUMBIA, South Carolina (AP) — South Carolina Treasurer Thomas Ravenel, a former real estate developer who became a rising political star after his election last year, was indicted Tuesday on federal cocaine charges.
Ravenel is also the state chairman for former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s presidential campaign.
Ravenel has stepped down from his volunteer responsibilities with the campaign, according to a statement released by Mark Campbell, Giuliani’s political director.
Campbell said the campaign has no information about the accusations pending against Ravenel.
The millionaire is accused of buying less than 500 grams of the drug to share with other people in late 2005, U.S. Attorney Reggie Lloyd said.
Ravenel, 44, is charged with distribution of cocaine, which carries a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison.
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Whatever Goes On Between Two Consenting Adults is OK By Me
Though I would state that having to be extricated by the fire department might indicate a problem that needs addressing.
Sex game bloke traps modesty in padlock
By Lester Haines
Published Wednesday 20th June 2007 12:40 GMTA Kent man who got his manhood trapped in a padlock “after a sex game went wrong” had to be cut free by firemen, The Sun reports.
The unnamed victim, in his 50s, intially presented the coupling of padlock and pecker at his local fire station. They packed him off to hospital, but since docs “could do nothing”, he was forced to return to seek expert help. Firemen eventually released the chap’s wedding tackle using hydraulic cutters.
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This is a Really Bad Day Golfing
It’s yet another reason why I don’t play golf.
That entire “getting struck by lightning thing” factors in too.
But mostly, I just don’t like the game.
Golfer’s bad swing sparks brush fire-15-20 acres burn near Wildcreek course
Related ArticleHiggs trial underway with several rulings Related ArticleNorovirus identified at Alice Smith school Related ArticleTiger’s wife gives birth to a daughter Related ArticleNevada to get more U.S. attorney staff Related ArticleFather of murdered Elko boy pleads to abuse charges Related ArticlePolice nab suspect in jewelry theft
A Wildcreek golfer who hit a bad shot this evening started a brush fire that consumed 15-20 acres northeast of the golf course, fire officials said.
The golfer had knocked his ball into the grass beyond the course off the 3500 block of Sullivan Lane. When he tried to play back to the fairway, his club struck something that created a spark that started the fire.“He was totally honest about it,” Reno Battalion Chief Curtis Johnson said, adding he didn’t know if the golfer turned in the alarm.
Reno and Sparks fire engines with 45-50 people swarmed the area and were mopping up about 8:30 p.m. A 12-person crew from the Sierra Front Forest Service was to be at the fire site until at least midnight.
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Porn mag ed sacked for inadequate smut
£50k a year? That’s almost $100K US. I’d be willing to edit a “Lad Mag” for that.
My wife might object though.
Of more interest is that even in “Free Market” Britain, there are more worker protections than in the US.
Porn mag ed sacked for inadequate smut
Men Only ‘artistic differences’ kerfuffle
By Lester Haines → More by this author
Published Tuesday 12th June 2007 16:18 GMT
Why Businesses need Business Continuity – Free whitepaperMobile computing: Opportunities and risk – Free whitepaperThe former editor of Men Only has won an industrial tribunal for unfair dismissal after being shown the door for refusing requests to use younger models and “bigger and more graphic photos”, The Evening Standard reports.
Pierre Perrone, 49, fell out with owner Paul Raymond’s nephew, Mark Quinn, over the former’s decision to target the grumble mag at “discerning older gentlemen”. Perrone took the helm in 2004, when the publication’s circulation was in free-fall, pressured by net smut, hardcore imports, and “competition from lifestyle magazines such as FHM and GQ”.
He explained to the tribunal he “believed the title had become tired and he had tried to target the more discerning market, using slightly older models”. Quinn was unimpressed, and “repeatedly ordered him to replace the chosen models with younger-looking women” while offering “more explicit” content.
As a result, Mr Perrone said these “artistic differences led to him being demoted, then axed in a sham redundancy” from his £50k a year post. Paul Raymond Publications asserted that he’d been canned because of falling sales and was “genuinely redundant”.
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Oral-B objects to toothbrush vibrator
You get the picture. If you don’t, here it is.
It’s been a while since I’ve said this, but I really enjoy the Register.
This is why I don’t name things, I would have called it “Clitoral-B”.
LoveHoney in toothbrush vibrator trademark rumpus
Oral-B sex shocker
By Lester Haines
Published Tuesday 12th June 2007 10:21 GMTNSFW Online sex toy outfit LoveHoney has got itself into hot water over the promotion of its Brush Bunny Electric Toothbrush Rabbit Vibrator after deciding the best way to punt the product was to picture it beside the pleasure delivery platform of choice – an Oral-B electric toothbrush.
According to LoveHoney’s sober report into the matter, it quickly received a missive from D Young & Co – “who proudly declare themselves to be representatives of ‘The Proctor & Gamble Company family including Gilette Canada Company and Braun GmbH in relationship to trademark matters'” – and who declared:
It has come to our attention that the trademarks BRAUN and ORAL-B have been adopted and misused on the above mentioned website. Specifically, the use of the client’s trademark can be seen at the following:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=10535
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9483…..
BootnoteWe’d like to point out that The Register in no way supports the use of toothbrush-mounted sex aids and warns that improper deployment of such devices may result in personal injury if not supervised by a trained professional. We also advise LoveHoney that The Register and its vulture logo are protected by trademark, so you can forget that El Reg-branded latex gimp suit. Our lawyers are watching.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??
Ummm…Are these guys on the payroll of Leno’s or Letterman’s gag writers, or what?
I saw the Get Smart movie the Nude Bomb, and the script writers for that miscarriage of spy spoofage were more credible than the DoD.
cbs5.com – Pentagon Confirms It Sought To Build A ‘Gay Bomb’
Hank Plante
Reporting(CBS 5) BERKELEY A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.
Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called “Gay Bomb.”
Edward Hammond, of Berkeley’s Sunshine Project, had used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of the proposal from the Air Force’s Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.
As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, “One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior.”
The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.
“The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soliders to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another,” Hammond said after reviwing the documents.
“The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soliders would become gay,” explained Hammond.
The Pentagon told CBS 5 that the proposal was made by the Air Force in 1994.
……
Your tax dollars at work.