13 Years ago, on November 30, 1994, I stopped being single. I plighted my troth. I found a woman deluded enough to marry me.

Women everywhere mourned. No more could they see the possibility of these chiseled features, those come-hither eyes, that hair^*….

Uhhh…never mind, and thank you God, for finding me a wonder with amazingly bad taste

^*I wish that I had that much hair now.