Remember themoron who went ballooning in his lawn chair?
He’s at it again. This time it was 193 miles, and he ignored flight regulations again.
Category: 40yrs
Now They Want My Poop
Every workplace has it own quirks, where I am now, this is a fairly high volume of company spam email.
While one expects things like the occasional notice of a blood drive or a United Way Campaign, one gets 2-10 emails here a day that are sent to the whole place.
These are things like:
- Equipment that they want to give away for someone to take home.
- Equipment that they want to give to another lab.
- Petty cash status
- Sales pitches for the health club they have in the basement.
- Sales pitches for massages available through said health club.
- Requesting volunteers to provide samples for testing to validate processes.
This time, it’s gone a bit odd. They are offering $20.00 for a stool sample.
It’s just a very odd thing to see first thing Monday Morning.
In any case, they get nothing from me. I must protect my purity of essence.
America Will Be the Death of the English Language
I was listening to a sales pitch for a robot.
The salesman was pitching the ease of programming the device, and the ease of porting programs between different models.
He then said that if needed, a “webinar” could be arranged to train our people for training.
Webinar???? What the hell is a Webinar????
He clear meant a teleconference with a shared desktop (Webex®), but why do people have to do this to the English language
A Moooooving Experience
Sorry for the pun.
OK, not sorry for the pun.
Police hunt renegade cow sex youth
By Lester Haines
Published Friday 6th July 2007 08:29 GMTWarning: no IT angle North Yorkshire police are on a state of high alert after a youth was spotted coupling with an English longhorn cow at a specialist breeder’s farm in Skipwith, The Sun reports.
The lad was clocked at 4.30am, dressed only in black briefs, by a “shocked” passer-by who interruped proceedings by shouting at the nocturnal bovine botherer. A 999 call alerted the authorities, but when officers arrived at the scene, the perp had made good his escape.
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Maybe it’s a Yorkshire thing.
Adventures in Amateur Rocketry
Last night, we went to the local school playground with Charlie’s brand spanking new Estes® rocket.
We had tried to launch a few days earlier, and had gotten only fizzles, because the batteries were dubious.
This time it launched, and the parachute deployed. Charlie was very happy about this.
Unfortunately, I got the winds aloft wrong, and it drifted across the playground, over the school, and got hung up in a tree about 80 feet in the air.
It was my fault, I chose the location, so I’ll be replacing the rocket for Charlie (he spent his hard earned allowance on the first one), and Charlie was a very good sport about all of this.
Next time, I think we go to Hannah Moore Mark, which has a lot more space, and I check the winds better.
Too Funny for Words
Wikipedian Protester
Click image for web site.
All Your Base Are Belong To Us
I read this, and that’s what popped into my head.
Talking Trojan taunts victims
Malware authors have developed a talking Trojan capable of taunting its victims even as it goes about its work trashing their PCs.The BotVoice-A Trojan (http://www.pandasoftware.com/com/virus_info/encyclopedia/overview.aspx?idvirus=166596&sitepanda=empresas) informs victims that their Windows PCs have been infected as it deletes files. The malware uses Windows text reader to play the following message:
You has been infected I repeat You has been infected and your system files has been deletes. Sorry. Have a Nice Day and bye bye.
….
Ummmm….I Got Nothing Here.
This is too weird for me to comment on. I’m left speechless.
Chinese women crave Bill Gates’ spermGive me a baby, big fella
By Lester Haines → More by this author
Published Wednesday 4th July 2007 08:50 GMT
Mobile computing: Opportunities and risk – Free whitepaperThere’s some good news this morning for Bill Gates: if he ever finds himself fallen on hard times he can always make a few quid offloading his sperm on eager Chinese female recipients.
That’s if China’s Self magazine is to be believed, because the IT potentate secured second spot in a poll which asked 1,000 women from 15 cities whose precious bodily fluid they’d most like to accommodate for some hot baby-making action.
Indeed, so sought-after is Bill’s magic water that he beat Becks and Brad Pitt into fifth and tenth places, respectively. The ideal sperm donor was not, however, George Clooney or Larry Ellison, but Hong Kong entertainer Andy Lau.
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Under Achiever, and Proud of It
I just want to say that Matt Groening is a bloody genius.
7-Elevens turn into ‘Simpsons’ Kwik-E-Marts
DALLAS, Texas (AP)– Over the weekend, 7-Eleven Inc. turned a dozen stores into Kwik-E-Marts, the fictional convenience stores of “The Simpsons” fame, in the latest example of marketers making life imitate art.Those stores and most of the 6,000-plus other 7-Elevens in North America will sell items that until now existed only on television: Buzz Cola, KrustyO’s cereal and Squishees, the slushy drink knockoff of Slurpees.
It’s all part of a campaign to hype the July 27 opening of “The Simpsons Movie,” the big-screen debut for the long-running television cartoon, which loves to lampoon 7-Eleven as a store that sells all kinds of unhealthy snacks and is run by a man with a thick Indian accent.
For 20th Century Fox Film Corp. and Homer’s creators at Gracie Films, the stunt is a cheap way to call attention to their movie, since 7-Eleven is bearing all the costs, which executives of the retail chain put at somewhere in the single millions.
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Bambi, Don’t Bogart that Joint!
In related news, 12 deer have been arrested on suspicion of breaking into a Quik-E-Mart and stealing 3200 ice cream sammiches. Authorities followed the path of discarded wrappers to catch the alleged thieves.
‘Unusually frisky’ deer blow lid on marijuana plantation
By Lester Haines
Published Monday 2nd July 2007 13:35 GMTItalian police busted two would-be marijuana cultivators after “unusually frisky” deer alerted the authorities as to the presence of their mountaintop dope plantation, UPI reports.
Locals in Trento began telling tales of the abnormally high-spirited animals, while forest rangers began to wonder why the normally shy and straight-laced cervine population was letting it all hang out by day and “making great leaps on the mountainside”.
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The Joys of Family Communications
When one has children, it is not uncommon for one to find one’s self saying unexpected things.
You have those things you swore you would never say, like “I’m the Daddy, that’s why“, and “Because I said so.“
You then have those things you never, ever, imagined you would say, like, “It’s not buffet time at the Wildebeest“.
Finally, occasionally, and you get that rare chance to say something that you’ve always wanted to say.
This happened today. I was driving with the family in the mini-van (I can’t believe I own a f$%#ing mini-van), and I was whistling to myself (the 1812 Overture, I think), and Natalie asked me how to whistle.
I, replied, “You know how to whistle, don’t you? You just put your lips together and blow.“
Made my day.
So does any opportunity to say, “I’m an engineer, not a doctor, dammit!”
Shut Up and Drive
The following Notice is on the US Army Aviation Warfighting Center’s Website, “Drivers traveling on Fort Rucker must pull vehicles over or use a hands-free device when talking on cell phones.“.
I have never heard a military policy that I more whole-heartedly agree with.
28301-016, Final Chapter
I heard about Bush Commuting Libby’s sentence on the radio, and I swore in front of my children.
In fact, I said F*&%$#@%K!!!!
Compassion my ass. The Avignon president gets off on people in pain. This is about covering his, and Cheney’s ass.
Impeach them. Impeach them now.
Rubber Ducky, You’re the one.
Cool.
Thousands of rubber ducks to land on British shores after 15 year journey
Thousands of rubber ducks to land on British shores after 15 year journey
By BEN CLERKIN – More by this author » Last updated at 22:00pm on 27th June 2007Comments Comments (9)
They were toys destined only to bob up and down in nothing bigger than a child’s bath – but so far they have floated halfway around the world.The armada of 29,000 plastic yellow ducks, blue turtles and green frogs broke free from a cargo ship 15 years ago.
Since then they have travelled 17,000 miles, floating over the site where the Titanic sank, landing in Hawaii and even spending years frozen in an Arctic ice pack.
And now they are heading straight for Britain. At some point this summer they are expected to be spotted on beaches in South-West England.
While the ducks are undoubtedly a loss to the bath-time fun of thousands of children, their adventures at sea have proved an innvaluable aid to science”
The toys have helped researchers to chart the great ocean currents because when they are spotted bobbing on the waves they are much more likely to be reported to the authorities than the floats which scientists normally use.
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Amazing LEGO Aircraft Carrier
For Your Amusement, Truth in Advertising
Don’t know the original source.
For the Record, I’ve Never Been THIS Drunk
Damn, that’s the 2nd drunkest that I’ve ever heard of.
Man mistakes straw bale for stricken woman, gives it CPR
By Daniel Brownstein
A Hilton Head Island man confused bales of pine straw with a dead woman, and tried to resuscitate them early Tuesday morning, according to a sheriff’s report.
The 39-year-old called deputies to the parking lot of Hilton Head Cabanas, 32 South Forest Beach Drive, at 1:49 a.m., saying he had just tried to perform CPR on a dead woman, according to the sheriff’s report.
They arrived to find him talking to a large bale of pine straw.
When asked where the woman was, he pointed to the straw, the report stated.
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I Now Know My Purpose in Life
My wife was dropping my son off at his science camp. It’s a week long science camp in Howard County, which is all we need, as Charlie will be back at Forbush next week.
I’m sitting at my desk, and I get a phone call, it’s from my wife.
She says, “Hi Honey!”, and then we both say in unison, “I’m Lost”.
I am Mapquest for She who must be obeyed.
God Bless the Internet
Today, I’ve spent over an hour with my wife on the phone. My parents are in DC, so my wife and kids had lunch with them.
They had a lot of fun.
But……
It was her first time driving in Washington, DC alone EVER.
So, on the way in, and on the way out, she was calling me on her cell, and I was Map Questing (actually, Yahoo, since they have an address book) furiously. She’s on her way home.
I’m getting kosher Chinese takeout, David Chu’s…Yum!!!!
School Administrators are Morons.
13 Year olds are not adults, but this is infantilizing them, and possibly creating sociopaths out of them.
People need physical human contact, perhaps even more so children.
Va. School’s No-Contact Rule Is a Touchy Subject
By Maria Glod
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, June 18, 2007; Page B01Fairfax County middle school student Hal Beaulieu hopped up from his lunch table one day a few months ago, sat next to his girlfriend and slipped his arm around her shoulder. That landed him a trip to the school office.
Among his crimes: hugging.
All touching — not only fighting or inappropriate touching — is against the rules at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna. Hand-holding, handshakes and high-fives? Banned. The rule has been conveyed to students this way: “NO PHYSICAL CONTACT!!!!!”
School officials say the rule helps keep crowded hallways and lunchrooms safe and orderly, and ensures that all students are comfortable. But Hal, 13, and his parents think the school’s hands-off approach goes too far, and they are lobbying for a change.
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Deborah Hernandez, Kilmer’s principal, said the rule makes sense in a school that was built for 850 students but houses 1,100. She said that students should have their personal space protected and that many lack the maturity to understand what is acceptable or welcome.
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No, you are just an uptight bitch.
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Hal’s troubles began one day in March when he got up from his assigned cafeteria table and went to a nearby table where his then-girlfriend was sitting. He admits he broke one rule — getting up from his assigned table without permission — and he accepts a reprimand for that. “The table thing, I’m guilty,” he said.
Assigned tables? Jesus H. Christ on a f%$#ing cracker!!!!! What the hell is wrong with these people.
These people won’t be satisfied until they have extracted every gram of humanity from their students.