I must have had a wonderful St. Patrick’s day. My pubic hair is green.
Category: Deep Thoughts
Deep Thought
Seen on Facebook.
Deep Thought
H/t JR at the Stellar Parthenon BBS.
Deep Thought
If you blow chunks, make sure that the last thing you have had was a 40 ounce cherry Slurpee.*
*I did this today. I got a cherry Slurpee because I wanted to cut down on my caffeine. It looks like you are vomiting blood.†
†It’s how I handle extreme emotions. When the storm blows over, I heave,‡ and yesterday, when we had to put Tudza to sleep. Charlie was inconsolable,§ Natalie was teary, and my wife was bumming.
‡It’s how I’ve handled such things since I was 7 years old. It scared the crap out of my parents at the time.§
§He couldn’t function. He wouldn’t eat dinner or breakfast, and he was hopeless at school until lunch. Now that he’s back to normalcy, he is back to functioning and eating, we are giving him, the ultimate comfort food, my baked spaghetti and cheese, because his appetite has returned with a vengeance.
Deep Thought
Snipers Were Given Instructions to Shoot Kanye West on Sight
That’s my guess anyway, because, at the insistence of my daughter, we had to watch the American Music Awards, and Taylor Swift won a number of awards.
You gotta figure that there were at least 3 security staff who were assigned to prevent West from doing anything if Swift won.
Deep Thought
My son was talking to me as I was perusing the blog Wall Street Jackass, and he asked if everyone on Wall Street was a jackass.
I told him, “No, they have janitors there too.”
It’s the Best Monday of the Year
Because it starts an hour later.
I hate daylight savings time, and I am glad that it is over.
Seen on Facebook
Deep Thought
H/t ILIWIUITMABOIP.
Deep Thought
From my hairy brother on facebook.
I saw this a few years back.
Deep Thought
Deep Thought
When traveling via bus, bring a travel pack of tissues, in case the bus bathroom is out of toilet paper.
Deep Thought
This is the 2nd best practical joke ever.
Deep Thought
If you are in a meeting at work, and you start getting into pirate metaphors, it’s not going to be a good meeting.
Deep Thought
In case you do not recognize the picture, this is Wisconsin governor Scott Walker.
N/t Neophyte at the Stellarparthenon BBS.
Deep Thought
Not my deep thought, actually.
The family was in a restaurant on Sunday, why eat in when you are removing food from the house for Passover, and besides, the storm had knocked out our power.
In any case, the restaurant had Fox News up on a monitor.
It was “pimp Atlas Shrugged day”, so they were interviewing the actors, the director, etc., along with examples of how capitalist “supermen” are essential.
Thankfully, the sound was off, and I had my back to it, but my son Charlie was watching the scroll beneath.
Suddenly, he looked at me confused, “Dad, Fox News says that venture capitalists invented video game systems. Can you explain that to me dad? I don’t speak lunatic.”
I guess that I am raising my kids right.
Deep Thought
Cleaning for Passover sucks wet farts from dead pigeons.
Deep Thought
H/t JR at the Stellar Parthenon BBS.
Deep Thought
This is not my deep thought, but it just has to be shared.
H/t JR at the Stellar Parthenon BBs.