Not Even 5 Years Old
Heh.
But I think that my cat is more of the Uma Thurman with a Samurai sword type.
Friday Cat Blogging
Not Even 5 Years Old
Category: Funny
Not Even 5 Years Old
God Bless The Onion
Not The Onion…
But this is satire:
In bid for attention, nation’s unemployed to launch failing investment bank
District of Columbia – In an effort to gain the support of political leaders, a coalition of unemployed Americans have filed paperwork to declare themselves the nation’s largest investment bank. Supporters of the planned financial institution hope the move will quickly curry Congressional favor, leading to a large-scale federal bailout of unemployed and underemployed workers.…………
Read the rest, it is prize.
I Prefer This to the Samuel Jackson Version
But in either case, the book Go the F%$# to Sleep is a classic.
Anyone who has ever had to put there child to sleep understand this completely
God Bless The Onion
U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths
and
The same thing that makes The Onion so amusing also makes it infuriating. It’s too close to the truth.
I Got Nothing, Roll Jon Stewart
Over the past few days, it appears that Congressman Anthony Weiner has been fingered* as having sent a picture of his package (underwear clad) on Twitter.
The evidence, as near as I can tell is that someone, with the active aid of right wing Rat F%$#er Andrew Breitbart, is Rat F%$#ing, because that is what Rat F%$#ers do.
Basically, I have nothing to add beyond what Jon Stewart, who actually swam with Weiner in his Younger days, and notes that his recollection is that, “This cat had a lot more Anthony and a lot less weiner.”
Just watch it.
I so envy The Daily Show writing staff.
*Pun not intended.
A Gaffe is When Someone Tells the Truth
Case in point, the unfortunate schmuck tasked by the Secret Service to monitor a Fox News broadcast.
He tweeted about the experience, but mistakenly posted the tweet from the official Secret Service account, as opposed to his personal account.
I feel his pain.
Sometimes Bill Maher Gets it Right
I’m not a big fan of some of his tendencies to draw by crayon Libertarianism, but when he suggests that the most viable Republican candidate for the primaries, where one appeals to the the base, is that chimpanzee that tore his keeper’s face off, he effectively uses humor to express a very deep truth.
God Bless The Onion
I really cannot add anything to the article, but it needs to be shared:
Budget Mix-Up Provides Nation’s Schools With Enough Money To Properly Educate Students
WASHINGTON—According to bewildered and contrite legislators, a major budgetary mix-up this week inadvertently provided the nation’s public schools with enough funding and resources to properly educate students.
Sources in the Congressional Budget Office reported that as a result of a clerical error, $80 billion earmarked for national defense was accidentally sent to the Department of Education, furnishing schools with the necessary funds to buy new textbooks, offer more academic resources, hire better teachers, promote student achievement, and foster educational excellence—an oversight that apologetic officials called a “huge mistake.”
…
Read the rest.
It’s Been a While Since I’ve Done a Cat on Friday
So, here you go:
It Ain’t Just Babies that Wall Street F%$#s
OK, I’m Feeling Better About Donald Trump Leaving the Race…
Because I hadn’t realized just how entertainingly insane Newt Gingrich can be.
In response to the sh%$storm that he unleashed for telling the truth about the Paul Ryan plan to kill Medicare, he has been engaged in a series of obfuscations that are as delusional as they are epic.
His campaign’s latest press release is a true work of art, to such a level that Stephen Colbert felt the need to bring in John Lithgow to make a dramatic reading of it on his show.
I had forgotten what a complete pratt he was.
Press release after the break.
The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding,” Tyler wrote. “Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness. They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.
Deep Thought
People With Way Too Much Free Time…
Perusing what Uncle Ted called “a series of tubes,” I came across Think Tank: The Economics of Death Star Planet Destruction:
Lee
What’s the economic calculus behind the Empire’s tactic of A) building a Death Star, B) intimidating planets into submission with the threat of destruction, and C) actually carrying through with said destruction if the planet doesn’t comply?Doesn’t the Empire take a huge economic loss from the lost productivity of an entire planet? They were presumably paying taxes and providing resources to the rest of the Empire. Presumably the loss of that planet’s output would have to be made up by increased output from other planets that were either slacking in productivity due to rebellion or threatening to rebel and withdraw from the Empire altogether. It doesn’t seem to make good economic sense.
McNeil
This is a pretty standard imperial tactic for dealing with rebellion. The Romans would do this in the eastern empire every once in a while. A city would become a hotbed of rebellion, threatening to pull other cities into the action. The Romans would wipe out that one city, no matter how wealthy (Palmyra comes to mind) to put any other potential rebels on notice. Kind of like a mastectomy. You lose one productive part of the body in order to keep cancer from spreading.…………
Lee and Mcneil, along with Perich, Fenzel and Stokes (read the whole thing provide an interesting dialogue on economics and governance that is (I think) unintentionally a rather trenchant analysis of the current American imperial hubris.
Just read it.
Deep Thought
In case you do not recognize the picture, this is Wisconsin governor Scott Walker.
N/t Neophyte at the Stellarparthenon BBS.
The Best Comment on Donald Trump’s Attack on Obama’s Academic Record
You should read the whole thing, but here are the last few paragraphs:
Oh, wait.
My bad.
I made a mistake.
Please replace the reference to “high school” with “Andover.”
Please replace “Columbia” with “Yale.”
Please replace “Barack Obama” with “George W. Bush.”
Thanks.
Good snark.
Go read.
Darth Sartre
Brilliant!
H/t Tom Cunniff.
Deep Thought
Not my deep thought, actually.
The family was in a restaurant on Sunday, why eat in when you are removing food from the house for Passover, and besides, the storm had knocked out our power.
In any case, the restaurant had Fox News up on a monitor.
It was “pimp Atlas Shrugged day”, so they were interviewing the actors, the director, etc., along with examples of how capitalist “supermen” are essential.
Thankfully, the sound was off, and I had my back to it, but my son Charlie was watching the scroll beneath.
Suddenly, he looked at me confused, “Dad, Fox News says that venture capitalists invented video game systems. Can you explain that to me dad? I don’t speak lunatic.”
I guess that I am raising my kids right.
Stephen Colbert Loses It
It was a valiant effort
You know, when a comedian loses it in front of the audience, it’s not a proud moment for him, so I felt the need to share it with all of you.
He starts to lose it at about 4:30.
I blame the Republicans.
Jon Stewart Says It All…
There Should be a Nobel Prize for This!
I really wish that I had half his wit.
I guess that this bit of genius is all about the fact that they are dealing with a very real sadness: Glen Beck could make their writing a lot easier.
When Beck was on a roll, they could finish writing the script by lunch, and adjourn to a coke infused orgy with transsexual prostitutes in the afternoon.
Or maybe they just played games on their iPhones in the afternoon.