Category: Funny

Your Moment of Schadenfreude

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!So, it looks like yet another organization has had to downsize. It’s moving out of its headquarters, in the heart of Washington, DC, which they moved into about a year ago, because it’s too expensive for them now.

Who is this organization? Why it’s the Mortgage Bankers Association, of course, who have discovered that their new $76 million dollar digs are no longer affordable:

Since the purchase in May 2008, the U.S. economy has suffered one of the most severe recessions in a century, and the residential and commercial real estate markets have materially deteriorated. These factors, coupled with a challenging leasing environment, led the MBA Board to conclude that continued ownership of 1331 L Street was economically imprudent, and over the long term would impair MBA’s ability to continue providing our members with MBA’s full range of services.

My guess? That they got f$#@ed over by the fine print in their mortgage.

I Love Alan Grayson*

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In discussing Cheney’s comments on Afghanistan, Grayson says, “Well, my response is — and by the way, I have trouble listening to what he says sometimes, because of the blood that drips from his teeth while he’s talking, but my response is this: He’s just angry because the president doesn’t shoot old men in the face. But by the way, when he was done speaking, did he just then turn into a bat and fly away?”

I love this for two reasons:

  • It’s wicked funny.
  • This, like his “Republicans want you to die”, comment, completely marginalizes his opponents by showing who they truly are.

*In a 110% purely heterosexual kind of way, of course, as the General would say.

Heh.

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So, it appears that the same day that Sarah Palin’s autobiography, Going Rogue, is coming out, a collection of essays criticizing her, Going Rouge, edited by two editors from The Nation magazine.

They have something in common. Sarah Palin has not penned a single word in either.

Punk’d

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Click for full size

Yes, Man, the Main Stream Media Just Ate it Up

So it looks like the the activist/guerrilla theater team, the Yes Men, along with the Avaaz Action Factory, hoaxed the main stream media by getting them to cover a phony press release,and phony press conference, where the chamber reversed themselves on CO2/global warming legislation, saying that, “Without a stable climate, there will be no business.” (see also here and here)

And about the only thing that could make this episode more cruelly embarrassing for the US Chamber of Commerce? Why, that would be demanding a for a criminal investigation of the hoax, which, of course, is exactly what the chamber is doing:

“We will be asking law enforcement authorities to investigate this event. Beyond that, the Chamber will simply continue to focus on a positive vision for getting people back to work and growing our economy.”

So, Major Pwn36e* followed up by self Pwn36e*, but that’s not all:

The U.S. Chamber is the world’s largest business federation representing more than 3 million businesses and organizations of every size, sector, and region.

Ummm….You are only over-reporting your membership by a factor of 10, as has been revealed by numerous sources, and stipulated as true by the Chamber itself.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer group of running-dog Republican lackeys.

*Ownage.

Now I Get the Nobel Prize

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It was for the “Beer Summit“:

OSLO (The Borowitz Report) – As the world responded with a mixture of surprise and amazement to the announcement of President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize, Nobel insiders revealed that the President’s “beer summit” at the White House put him over the top.

“The committee was definitely split down the middle right up until the end,” said Agot Valle, a Norwegian politician and member of the five-person Nobel committee. “Some of them were still quite upset about that nasty business with the Somali pirates.”

As Dotcommie at the Stellar Parthenon BBS noted:

Getting the Israelis and the Egyptians to talk was WAY easier than a Boston Cop and a Black Man.

Troof.