The perfect thing for a Friday evening.
Props to Stephen for the Highlander call out:
Category: Funny
God Bless the Onion
Click for full size
Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, alias “Lou Dobbs,” is escorted by DHS agents to the airport to be sent back to Mexico.
Brilliant!
WANTAGE, NJ—Acting on anonymous tips from within the Hispanic-American community, U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials on Wednesday deported Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, who for the last 48 years had been living illegally in the United States under the name Lou Dobbs.
According to the Department of Homeland Security, federal agents stormed the undocumented immigrant’s home in an evening raid just hours after the 64-year-old newscaster suddenly announced that he was resigning from CNN, and immediately placed him on an Aeromexico flight departing from Newark Liberty Airport.
Just go and read the whole thing.
It’s Called Journalism, and It is the Sole Province of Jon Stewart
God Bless the Onion
1000 Words on Republicans
Jon Stewart is a F%$#ing Genius, Glenn Beck Edition
Simply devastating.
He’s not criticizing Glenn Beck, he’s doing Glenn Beck almost as well as Glenn Beck.
The World of Tomorrow (If The Internet Disappeared Today) | Cracked.com
Cracked, which has somehow changed itself from the rather lame shadow of Mad Magazine it was in my misspent youth, had a PhotoShop contest: The World of Tomorrow (If The Internet Disappeared Today).
The winner is shown.
True Dat
Go to the site, and make a donation.
Jon Stewart on Election Coverage
Have I mentioned lately that Jon Stewart is a F%$#ing Genius?
John Oliver: At that point, it will be clear that I’m changing the tone of my voice, to try and give the appearance of balance and genuine thought.
Jon Stewart: John, let me ask you then, will you be backing that up with genuine thought.
John Oliver: No, John. I’m not going to do that.
God Bless The Onion
Seriously.
These folks are geniuses.
Warning: an “F-bomb” in the video.
The subject today: Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck.
You Will Not Find Your Book Here
This Actually Reveals a Deeper Truth
There is a distinctly Randroid branch of the Republican party, who follows Alisa Zinov’yevna Rosenbaum’s (Ayn Rand) philosophy of Objectivism, and as such, see activities like giving candies to trick or treaters as actually being evil, because any sort of activity which benefits the community is evil.
To their mind, the only good is self interest, hence the title of the only Ayn Rand book that I have ever read, The Virtue of Selfishness, which I found juvenile, as well as horribly written,* when I reviewed it as an extra credit assignment in my Philosophy of Literature class in high school.
It must be remembered that a significant portion of Republicans are actually philosophically opposed to the very idea of community.
H/t Cthulhu† for the cartoon.
*Seriously, really badly written. It was worse than reading Immanuel Kant, and that sh%$ was painful to read.
†No, not the unspeakably malevolent super-being, the contributor to the Shortskoolbus BBS.‡
‡OK, I’ve never seen the two of them together, so Cthulhu might actually be the Cthulhu, but the mere fact that he is on a BBS, interacting with humans§ would seem to mitigate against this.
§Yes, I know, this is the internet, where no one knows if you are a dog.
Too True
Bird & Fortune courtesy of Calculated Risk
Lol Zombie
Best Answering Machine Message Ever
Sharon,* a teacher before becoming an educational consultant, found this to be a hoot.
*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.
Star Wars and the Holy Grail
It does raise an interesting point.
Jon Stewart is a F%$#ing Genius, the Obama – Fox Wars
He asks the question that no one is asking, “What is Fox?” (3:36)
Well, after some examination of what Fox says that it is, and what Fox says, he comes up with an answer: Fox is a “Perpetual Revulsion Machine”. (9:46)
Heh.
H/T AMERICAblog
This is Not a Business Lunch
So, after Mark Sanford “hiking the Appalachian Trail,” Joe Wilson heckling a presidential speech, and those Republican County Chairman going on about how good Jews are with watching their money, one wonders what other shoe will drop from the South Carolina Republican party to as they continue the program to help employment by making Stewart’s, Colbert’s, O’Brien’s, Letterman’s, and Leno’s Job easier.
Well, wait no more. There is Assistant Attorney General Roland Corning, who wages a war on the business lunch that makes the fictional “war on Christman” look like an arcade game.
It appears that Corning, age 66, was hanging out in his car at a graveyard with an 18 year old stripper, along with Viagra and sex toys, and when police officer Michael Wines showed up in a marked car, Corning, “attempted to make a hasty retreat, spinning the tires in the driveway and accelerating rapidly.”
It gets better. When finally apprehended, the police verify who he is by calling the Attorney General’s office, where his wife answers the phone, and then rats him out to the notifies Attorney General, who fires his flabby white ass.
The high point of the police report:
The search revealed a sex enhancement drug and some sex toys. According to the report, Corning told Wines he had a prescription for the medication and the other items were always in the car “just in case.“
(emphasis mine)
Just in case….Yeah sure….I always carry sex toys and Viagra in my car….Why do you think that they call them “Jumper Cables.”
Jon Stewart is a F%$#ing Genius, Warren Buffet Ain’t the Wizard of Wall Street Editions
In this case, he discusses financial reform with John Kellogg Hodgman, and he nails it.
I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry.
Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert Tag Team Insurance
Stewart is more about the wankitude of the pundits and the political process, particularly Joe Lieberman, who gets absolutely savaged.
Colbert, on the other hand, goes more into the nuts and bolts of insurance, and describes getting screwed by insurance company execs as, “A pre-existing condition.”