H/t Hofstead Farm at the Shortskoolbus BBS.
Category: Funny
Google’s Latest Target
Nowhere is safe from the all consuming business plan of Google
The 8th Least Likely Thing for Me to Ever Say
Al Gore is hysterically funny.
Out of the Mouth of Babes
Richard is a friend of my son, and he was playing with Charlie today, and they wanted to play on the computer.
I was in the middle of doing my Sarah Palin book ad on my blog post, and they were asking why I was doing a screen shot of the image, and I explained how the ads paid me a few bucks, but they did weird stuff like this all the time.
Well, Charlie has been thoroughly indoctrinated by me and Uncle Keith (Olbermann), so he started ragging on Palin and the book, and Richard, who has similarly proper parenting joined in, and then he let fly the best review ever on Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue
The book will probably fall apart, just like the Captain Underpants ones do.
–Richard S. Age 9
While I have no knowledge of the quality of the printing and binding, this is almost certainly accurate about the book so many levels.
I think that I hurt myself laughing.
The kid has a future in stand-up comedy.
One Of These Things is…..
Caturday
Video h/t Know Your Meme, and technically Caturday is Saturday, but I always do my cat blogging on Friday.
God Bless the Onion
Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be:
…..
“Right there in the preamble, the authors make their priorities clear: ‘one nation under God,'” said Mortensen, attributing to the Constitution a line from the Pledge of Allegiance, which itself did not include any reference to a deity until 1954. “Well, there’s a reason they put that right at the top.”
“Men like Madison and Jefferson were moved by the ideals of Christianity, and wanted the United States to reflect those values as a Christian nation,” continued Mortensen, referring to the “Father of the Constitution,” James Madison, considered by many historians to be an atheist, and Thomas Jefferson, an Enlightenment-era thinker who rejected the divinity of Christ and was in France at the time the document was written. “The words on the page speak for themselves.”
…..
Brilliant.
Stewart on Palin
When he says:
When you peel back the pretty, shooty layers of the Palin onion, there’s no onion. It’s just a conservative boiler plate mad lib: ‘Freedom is good and taxes are–ooh I need an adjective–how about, I don’t know, silly?’ And the worst part it’s a mad lib delivered as though it were the hard-earned wisdom of a life well lived.
It’s just magical, and it starts at 3:40, though the first part is amusing too.
It’s not as good as Stephen Colbert’s takedown of her (scroll down). But it is very good.
They Can’t Even Get Arrested in This Town
I am referring, of course to the group of Christo-Fascist bigot whack-doodles who call themselves that Christian Anti-Defamation Commission, who protested the expansion to the hate crimes law outside Department of Justice headquarters.
It turns out that the law requires, that one explicitly plan, or actively incite violence against a protected group, so they could not get themselves arrested, though they did attract counter protesters, who quickly owned them:
No hands were cuffed. In fact, the few cops in attendance were paying no attention to the speakers, instead talking among themselves and checking their BlackBerrys.
The evangelical activists had been hoping to provoke arrest, because, as organizer Gary Cass of the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission put it, “we’d have standing to challenge the law.” But their prayers were not answered. Nobody was arrested, which wasn’t surprising: To run afoul of the new law, you need to “plan or prepare for an act of physical violence” or “incite an imminent act of physical violence.”
Instead of getting arrested, the ministers got something else: A couple of dozen gay activists, surrounding them with rainbow flags and signs announcing “Gaga for Gay Rights” and “I Am a Love Warrior.” By the end, the gay rights activists had taken over the lectern and the sound system and were holding their own news conference denouncing the ministers.
The kicker to all this:
Cass turned angrily to the AV guy. “We’re not on the clock, are we?” He turned with equal anger to Valk. “You guys gonna help us pay for the microphones?”
The gay activist smiled. “God,” he said, “works in mysterious ways.”
In this case, God took the form of Chuck Fazio, from DC Podiums. Fazio was hired by the religious conservatives to provide the sound system for the event, but upon learning of their cause, he decided to donate his proceeds to the gay rights activists and to give them a chance at the microphone before shutting down the amplifiers. “I don’t want bad karma,” he explained, noting with some pride that the lectern they were using was the same one used by Borat on a recent Washington visit.
(emphasis mine)
Heh.
Stephen Colbert on Going Rouge Rogue
Brilliant
There is A Meme Going Around Twitter
It appears that the Republicans are going to insist on having the whole healthcare bill read in the Senate.
The Dems have a team of speed readers standing by to do this, and there is a discussion on twitter as to whether we should give an hour to Christopher Walken or William Shatner to read the bill.
It’s a fascinating concept.
I have two vids after the break to give a compare and contrast Shatner and Walken.
Feel free to add your take in the comments.
[on edit] Yes, Jack Nicholson should be included too.
[on further edit]James Earl Jones as Darth Vader might be a bit much.
Walken reading Lady GaGa’s Poker Face
William Shatner’s seminal I am a Canadian.
Nicholson, 5 Easy Pieces
Too Funny
Hint: The car ain’t a Hyundai, regardless of the license plate frame and hood ornament.
H/t Bill Volk
SNL Nails It
It’s on how much the Obama is willing to cave on healthcare.
The best line though, is “Worse than Scranton.”
Deep Thought: Our Connected World
Click image for full size, with swear word.
H/t driftglass.
For Your Amusement
Pigeon Impossible, courtesy of Boing Boing.
BF Skinner, eat your heart out.
I Loves Me Some Good Parody
And the folks at New York Magazine have riffed on Andrew Ross Sorkin’s new book Too Big to Fail, an account of the financial meltdown, and come up with Too Big to Fail and ZOMBIES.
Do not read this while drinking anything, or you will need to clean your screen.
Here is a sample:
It made for an awkward moment, as Merrill CEO John Thain was only seats away. He was likely the next to get the plague, the executives well knew, as his firm was full of the deathless monsters. He had remained notably silent during the exchanges.
“You guys get this done for me, and I’ll make sure I can take care of AIG and Merrill,” Paulson replied. “I’m a little uncomfortable talking about Merrill with John right in the room.” He glanced uneasily at Thain, whose face, everyone suddenly became aware, had taken on a deathly pallor. “John,” said Paulson hesitantly. “Have you been bitten?”
It was then that Thain let out a gutteral animal howl. Half-rising from his chair, he lunged toward Pandit. “BRAINS!” he moaned.
“Holy sh%$!” exclaimed Morgan Stanley CEO John Mack, who was sitting in between the men. He rolled his chair out of the way.
Geithner ran out of the room, screaming like a little girl.
(emphasis mine)
I needed to clean my screen.
Never Piss Off Jon Stewart
Because Sean Hannity gets SFO* on this.
*So f$#@ing pwn3d.†
†Owned.
Special Software Gives JSF 50% Lethality Boost for JSF
Unfortunately, as Bill Sweetman laments, the software in question is:
While we’re going back and forth about the supposed sixfold advantage of the JSF over anything except the F-22, see this from a year ago:
“U.S. Air Force analyses show the Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II is at least 400 percent more effective in air-to-air combat capability than the best fighters currently available in the international market.”
And now it’s 600 per cent. This does of course prove convincingly that Lockheed Martin is right to suggest that the F-35’s capability will be able to be vastly improved through software alone.
That software being, in this case, PowerPoint.
…
(emphasis mine)
Mr. Sweetman owes me a screen wipe.
Deep Thought
H/t Holy Taco.
Too Funny Not to Share
From Nick.