Category: Funny

Dick Cheney Pissed off Jon Stewart………

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Daym!

Recently, Dick Cheney was interviewed, and Jon Stewart and his writers had the stomache to listen to listen to him go on and on about how Barack Obama has weakened America.

I now know what that sound I heard earlier, it was the staff of The Daily Show licking their chops.

He notes that Cheney was a sh%$#y vice president, and he was wrong on everything, and followed this by a video medley Grand Moff Cheney’s greatest hits, like, “We’ll be welcomed as liberators”, “There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction,” and the ever popular favorite “I think that they are in the last throes of the insurgency.”

Even if Obama wanted to take our standing in the world down a peg, he couldn’t, ’cause the Bush-Cheney administration left him with no peg room… the previous administration had left us in a bit of a cash crunch, and by ‘previous administration,’ I mean these motherf%$#ers.

Ouch.

Stewart On Guns

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Best news analysis in the media

If you want to get a good background on the whole gun safety issue, you’d may not find a better primer than what Jon Stewart did last night.

He outlines the basics of the debate, and how the NRA has castrated both the ATF and the ability to collect meaningful data about gun violence.

Funny and educational.

Heh.

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At the start of a new Congress, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee sent out teabagger membership cards to the Republican Representatives:

As new members of Congress are sworn in on Thursday, Democrats are looking to brand the incoming Republican class early on. The DCCC is sending out the above “Tea Party membership cards” to the offices of 35 freshman Republicans.

 Press releases in their individual districts identify each member as “the newest Tea Party House Republican who will put millionaires ahead of the middle class and dysfunction ahead of progress,” according to DCCC communications director Jesse Ferguson.

This is really what I call “immature College Republican agitprop,” but I still chuckled.

I guess that a lot depends on whose ox is gored.

Astronomical Headline of the Year

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Tell me that this was not the product of much giggles by the editorial staff:

Uranus takes a pounding more frequently than thought

 Uranus isn’t just gassy, it’s also tilted completely sideways, such that instead of rotating like a spinning top, it rolls around the plane of the solar system more like a giant ball. Now astronomers think they know how this happened, and it means that Uranus has been pounded really, really hard not once, but twice.

 Uranus’ axial tilt of 98 degrees means that it’s got one pole pointed almost directly at the sun, and one pole pointed out into space. As the planet revolves around the sun, these poles slowly switch places, meaning that if you lived there, you’d get 42 years of sunlight followed by 42 years of darkness, with a short time in between where things would seem almost normal.

 Needless to say, this sort of behavior is a bit strange for Uranus, although nobody’s quite been able to determine how it happened. New simulations from astronomers at the Observatory of Côte d’Azur in Nice, France may have just figured it out, and the answer seems to be that Uranus has suffered from not one but two giant impacts..

H/t LD at the Stellar Parthenon BBS.

Joke of the Day

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There is an old story from the heyday of the Soviet Union. As part of their May Day celebrations they were parading their latest weapon systems down the street in front of the Kremlin. There was a long column of their newest tanks, followed by a row of tractors pulling missiles. Behind these weapons were four pick-up trucks carrying older men in business suits waving to the crowds.

 Seeing this display, the Communist party boss turned to his defense secretary. He praised the tanks and missiles and then said that he didn’t understand the men in business suits. The defense secretary explained that these men were economists, and “their destructive capacity is incredible.”

H/t Dean Baker

There is One Man Who Can Challenge the Gun Lobby

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Jon Stewart doesn’t challenge gun ownership per se, but rather the sh%$ storm freakout accompanying Bob Costas’ comments on gun violence in the context of the Jovan Belcher murder/suicide.

He made the rather unremarkable observation that absent Belcher’s (legally owned) firearms, he and Kasandra Perkins might still be alive today.

The NRA, and its inadequately endowed paranoid ilk, want to make discussions of gun violence, and gun culture literally unspeakable in the media.

I Love Ed Asner*

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Ed Asner narrated a video for the California Federation of Teachers, which, among its images, had the 1% pissing on the rest of us.

Well, professional idiot Sean Hannity took offense, and he sent a producer to ambush interview Mr. Asner, who then offered to demonstrate the principal by pissing on the producer ::

Emmy Award-winning The Mary Tyler Show actor Ed Asner recently asked a Fox News producer if he could “piss on” him after he was confronted about a California Federation of Teachers video that showed cartoon rich people urinating on poor people.

Fox News host Sean Hannity and other conservative pundits first began attacking Asner on Tuesday after the animated ad that he narrated appeared on the federation’s website to explain how rich people used tax evasion, tax loopholes and tax cuts to become even richer.

On Wednesday, Hannity announced that he had sent an ambush producer out to confront the “left-wing Hollywood actor” outside his job at a New York City theater over the “disgusting hit piece.”

“I don’t remember a thing I said on it or a word I said on it,” Asner told the producer. “But I agreed to do it for California teachers. I approve this message.”

“There’s a part of it where talking about things trickling down and they have like rich people peeing on poor people,” the producer explained.

“How disgusting,” the actor snarked. “It should be reversed.”

“So you don’t remember that?” the producer pressed.

“Do you have any money?” Asner later asked.

“Ah, yeah,” the producer replied.

“Can I piss on you?” the actor quipped.

Heh.

H/t DC at the Stellar Parthenon BBS.

*In a 110% purely heterosexual kind of way, of course, as the General would say.