Category: People I Do Not Want to Piss Off

It’s the Fracking Juxtaposition of a Contrail and Forced Perspective


Once Again, Jon Stewart Does News Better than the News Networks

You know, the earth is round, and if a jet is passing directly over you as it comes over the horizon, its contrail looks vertical.

Of course, we know what this was. It was a slow speed chase involving a white Ford Bronco.

As Jon Stewart notes, quoting the helicopter pilot who filmed it, this “rocket plume” continued for about 10 f%$#ing minutes, which would put the missile (assuming a 1 G acceleration) would put the missile about 1800 km (100 mi) down range.

<Facepalm>

I Hate The Onion

Click for full size


Not only does the truth hurt, it leaves a nasty mark!

Their headline, “Democrats: ‘If We’re Gonna Lose, Let’s Go Down Running Away From Every Legislative Accomplishment We’ve Made’“:

WASHINGTON — Conceding almost certain Republican gains in next month’s crucial midterm elections, Democratic lawmakers vowed Tuesday not to give up without making one final push to ensure their party runs away from every major legislative victory of the past two years.

Party leaders told reporters that regardless of the ultimate outcome, they would do everything in their power from now until the polls closed to distance themselves from their hard-won passage of a historic health care overhaul, the toughest financial regulations since the 1930s, and a stimulus package most economists now credit with preventing a second Great Depression.

“There’s a great deal on the line, and we know it isn’t going to be easy for us,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), speaking from the steps of the Capitol. “But if we suffer defeat, we will do so knowing we cowered away from absolutely anything we produced that was even remotely progressive or valuable in any way.”

If you’ll excuse me, I will now hit myself in the head repeatedly with a hammer, because that is more pleasant than facing this reality.

Here is a hint for the Democrats: If The Onion is writing an article, and it describes your campaign strategy, you are being a f%$#ing moron.

If Jon Stewart Goes After You, It’s Because You Are a Jerk


Let’s Roll Tape

Not because you are some sort of bigot.

That’s what CNN anchor Rick Sanchez claimed on Pete Dominick’s radio show, but he went further and said that Jews run the entertainment industry.

So, he is now a former CNN anchor.

The lesson here is that if Jon Stewart makes fun of you, look inward for the fault, not outward, thought I do find Conan O’Brien’s tweet a hoot:

Stewart on the Republican Pledge

Why do I even bother blogging, when all I need to do is point you to Jon Stewart monologues:

Just to get this straight: Two years ago America broke up with you because you had badly mistreated her. And so you disappear, do some soul searching, get your head together. And you come back rapping on our door, hat in hand, and you say: ‘Baby, I know you left me, but if we get back together, I pledge to you, I promise you, I will still try to f%$#k your sister. Every chance I get. It’s who I am.’

Jon Stewart Answers the Questions that Need to Be Answered


We Have Found Obama’s Kryptonite

At a CNBC town hall, hedge fund manager Anthony Scaramucci asks Barack Obama, “When are we going to stop whacking at the Wall Steet piñata?

Well, Jon Stewart has the answer:

How long will we on Wall Street be hit like a piñata with a stick????

How about until the f%$#ing candy comes out!

How about that!

That’s how piñatas work!

…………

What you call a stick on Wall Street? I guess Amercans call a Trillion dollar bailout of your industry.

…………

Until your paper mâché bellies are no longer stuffed with government candy, walk it off!

Jon Stewart is not a man I ever want angry with me.

Where I Wish I Could Be on October 30


Jon Stewart’s Rally to Restore Sanity

Stephen Colbert’s March to Keep Fear Alive

At Jon Stewart’s Rally to Restore Sanity on the National Mall in Washington, DC, heckling people at Stephen Colbert’s March to Keep Fear Alive on the National Mall in Washington, DC.

Unfortunately, I have a prior appointment, I will be at the SCA event, TNT,* and my kids love that event, so I will be there instead.

Still, I think that anyone who can make there should, because if this outdraws Glen Beck and his racist psychopathic ilk, it shows what his numbers really mean.

*Yes, I know that this year, it’s technically the, “Treaty of Troyes,” but it’s TNT and has been TNT for well over a decade.

Jon Stewart on Religious Tolerance

Well really, it’s less about tolerance than it is an equal opportunity slam at the extremists in general, noting that when you take the Tanakh, Christian Bible, or Koran literally, you see violence, and hatred, and perhaps the problem is that taking the text literally.

There is also the prize line, “Who’s funding these radical Christian clerics?”

Deep Thought

If you are a, “whacko, my parents are first cousins, X-Files wannabe, black helicopter, tinfoil hat wearing, stupid, dim-witted, thinks pro wrestling is real,” lunatic,* as well as a raving bigot, it’s probably not a good idea to allow yourself to be interviewed by a The Daily Show correspondent:

*Sorry, I think that I just channeled the comedian Denis Leary.