Category: Schadenfreude

Quote Of The Day: Schadenfreude Edition

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There is a story about Larry Craig attempting further appeals. It’s unremarkable, except for we may now know why the Republicans are not going after him too hard, he is one seriously mean SOB.

“I was very proud of my association with Mitt Romney,” Craig told Lauer. “… And he not only threw me under his campaign bus, he backed up and ran over me again.”

I know it’s not nice to get joy from someone else’s misfortune, but Senator Craig’s circumstances have me riveted the way that some cheap celebrity antics do for the mainstream press.

Larry Craig, the Gift That Keeps on Giving

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Let’s see, first, we have Senator “Wide Stance” being inducted into the Idaho hall of fame, and then we have the male prostitute who outed Ted Haggard says that he met Larry Craig, and finally, Bob “The Traitor” Novak says that the Senate republicans knew about his behavior:

I have talked to several of my sources in the Senate, and this came as a surprise to me…They knew about it. They knew that he had this problem, and it was in the closet. And it was not just a homosexual relationship. It was this weird conduct. They didn’t do anything about it.

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Your Schadenfreude Update: Toe Tappin’ Larry Craig Edition

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The judge has denied Craig’s request to withdraw his guilty plea, and Craig si
now saying that he’s staying in the senate until the end of his term.

The Republicans are threatening an ethics committee investigation against him, but I think that it’s going nowhere, as we would have to see David “Diaper” Vitter, and Mitch “Handjob in the Shower” McConnell testifying.

I am amused.

Schadenfreude: Echos of Duke Cunningham

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Brent Wilkes’ lawyer Mark Geragos had previously thrown around bogus subpoenas at about a dozen members of congress, who promptly had the house lawyer to pound sand, but it looks like this time Wilkes’ lawyer is actually targeting representatives who have ties to him. They are all Republicans.

His defense is going to be, “I didn’t bribe anyone, I was shaken down.”

Wilkes to Target Five Pols for Testimony
Even though Geragos dropped the initial subpoenas, he told reporters later that he planned to file new ones against former House Speaker U.S. Rep. Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., and California Republican Reps. John Doolittle, Duncan Hunter, Darrell Issa and Jerry Lewis.

The substance of Wilkes’ defense is that he was not bribing people, but he was being shaken down by members of Congress, and these 5 guys flew on Wilkes’ plane, and ate at his dinner, so their testimony is relevant.

Pass the popcorn.

Schadenfreude: Palestinian Edition

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Well, it appears that both the Palestinian Authority and Hamas are are mired in accusing each other of adultery and homosexuality.

I have no doubt that some of these accusations are true. Heck, it’s likely that most of them are. In any large organization, you will find gay people.

Of course, the DVD mentioned makes it more amusing.

As to the Schadenfreude, it’s the sanctimony. Somehow, convincing a retarded kid to wear a bomb belt is moral, but sleeping with another man isn’t.

Excluding marital infidelity, this is not really about morality, it’s about religious hypocrisy, and the fact that the PA and Hamas are putting on their own little home grown versions of Tartuffe.

I find this amusing for the same reason that I found Jim Bakker’s peccadillos amusing.

H/t Jewlicious for the catch.

Schadenfreude: Scaife’s Divorce Edition

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It’s nice to see the rat-bastard who spent somewhere on the order of a hundred million dollars chasing Clinton’s penis getting his:

Scaife’s Wife Gets Giant Settlement After Messy Divorce — Claims Newspaper is ‘Hobby’

PITTSBURGH The estranged wife of billionaire and newspaper owner Richard Mellon Scaife, the Pittsburgh banking heir turned media mogul, was awarded $725,000 a month in temporary support during their acrimonious divorce, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported Sunday.

Scaife, 75, and his second wife, Margaret Ritchie Battle Scaife, are battling on several fronts, from how to assess and divide his wealth to custody of a yellow Labrador retriever named Beauregard, the newspaper said.

Piece of advice, dude: there isn’t a dog out there worth 725 grand a month. LET HER HAVE IT.

The funny part is this dispute about assets:

A judge may also have to decide whether the $20 million to $30 million a year she claims he spends to support the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review constitutes a business loss, as he contends, or spending on a hobby, as she sees it. Scaife owns the newspaper – a rival to the Post-Gazette – along with the Tribune-Review of Greensburg and several smaller dailies and weeklies.

…..

Records filed in the case suggest Scaife has spent $140 million to $244 million, depending on whom you believe, to subsidize the Tribune-Review since its inception in 1992. Scaife’s other papers are generally profitable, the divorce papers state.

….

Margaret Scaife’s alimony could grow higher depending on how Judge Alan Hertzberg views his income. He has asked for briefs due Thursday before making a final decision on the temporary award, which was set on a preliminary basis by a hearing officer last year.

Calling the Tribune-Review a hobby may be reasonable, depending on the legal fine points, but I would never call it a newspaper.

Larry Craig Does Not Appear to Be Done Yet.

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It appears that Larry Craig is not definitively out1 as Idaho’s US Senator.

It appears, according to a voice mail left at the wrong number, that his intent to resign is just that, intent, and not a promise.

He’s hired a high priced lawyer, and he will be fighting to overturn his guilty plea for disorderly conduct.

While my initial reaction is, “pass the popcorn”, this can actually be rather significant.

Seeing as how this will going on at the same time that the Pentagon’s “war room” is ramping up it’s likely to suck2 all the oxygen out of the media room, and so this media offensive is likely to get little notice, and hence little traction.

The voice mail mentions that he has support of Arlen Spector, which rather surprizes me, as the distinguished gentleman from Pennsylvania always bent over backwards3 to support the Republican agenda when push comes to shove4.

It’s possible that Spector had a polite statement of support that was misinterpreted, or possibly he’s trying to queer the deal in order to extract some sort of payback against the Republican Senate leadership by queering5 their efforts on the Iraq war, but I am unaware of any specific bad blood between him and Mitch McConnell.

It will be interesting seeing if the Republicans actually demand an ethics investigation to get to the bottom6 of this.

1Pun not intended.
2Really, I mean it, pun not intended.
3Oh, for Pets’s sake!!!! Pun not intended.
4Oh…I just give up, I’m punning.
5Well, that was liberating.
6OK, I admit it. I have a problem. My name is Matthew Saroff, and I am a punster.

Normally, I’m Against the Death Penalty, But In His Case, I’ll Make an Exception

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Notorious spammer Christopher “Rizler” Smith was sentenced to 30 years in prison. There is a part of me, the lizard brain, which was hopint for the death penalty.

Between dealing Hydrocodone and Viagra, and threatening the children of a witness, he’s going to be in jail for a very long time.

Ironically, because of his efforts, his cell mates will have easy access to Viagra and Cialis.

OOPS!!!

When Christian Dominionists Get Jiggy

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He’s president of the Christian Action League of North Carolina, and he’s 74,so hew rented himself a prostitute.

At 74…I’m impressed…That being said, I’m not impressed that he paid the woman with a check.

…
The 74-year-old Cabarrus County commissioner was arrested at his home in Kannapolis early Thursday. He appeared before a Rowan County magistrate on six misdemeanor charges and was released on a promise to appear in court Aug. 22. He did not return e-mails or calls to his cell and home phones, and no one answered the door at his Kannapolis home.

Privette, a prominent Republican with a 30-year career, is one of the state’s most vocal opponents against alcohol sales and legal gambling. He also serves on the State Baptist Convention of North Carolina and as president of the Christian Action League of North Carolina.
….

Larry Flynt is Shocked????

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According to Political Wire, Larry Flynt has 30 good leads about prominent customers of “DC Madame”. Flint describes them as, “We’ve got good leads. We’ve got over 300 initially. And they’re down to about 30 now which is solid.“

The thing that really intrigues me though is that there is another Senator among those 30, and Flynt hints that it is not one of the usual suspects:

KING: Will we be — I don’t want to get into names yet. Will we be shocked?

FLYNT: Yes.

KING: Were you shocked?

FLYNT: I was shocked, especially at one senator but…

KING: One senator especially?

FLYNT: Yes.

What the hell shocks Larry Flynt?

iPhones Crash WiFi Network at Duke.

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It appears that a small number of iPhones took down the routers at Duke University.

By a small number, it might have been as few as two.

The built-in 802.11b/g adapters on several iPhones periodically flood sections of the Durham, N.C. school’s pervasive wireless LAN with MAC address requests, temporarily knocking out anywhere from a dozen to 30 wireless access points at a time. The campus network staff is talking with Cisco, the main WLAN provider, and have opened a help desk ticket with Apple. But so far, the precise cause of the problem remains unknown.

That’s because the misbehaving iPhones flood the access points with up to 18,000 address requests per second, nearly 10Mbps of bandwidth, and monopolizing the AP’s airtime.

Does not play well with others.

Schadenfreude Overload

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Seriously. I’m going to need to set up a house of prostitution at the next Republican convention. I’ll make enough money to never have to work again.

McCain’s co-chairman of his Florida campaign, Florida State Rep. Bob Allen, was arrested for soliciting a prostitute who turned out to be a vice cop.

Other Republicans:

  • David “Family Values” Vitter: hooked up with prostitutes (It’s rumored to be something involving him dressing in diapers)
  • Guiliani’s: SC Campaign chair was busted for dealing coke, New SC chair is a racist, has a pedophile priest as a campaign adviser, and Ted F#$@ing Olsen is his legal adviser
  • Romney: Tortures dogs, Director of Operations impersonated an officer, head of Utah finance committee ran schools for trouble youngsters where they were abused and raped.

Please pass the popcorn.