Category: Sex

When Christian Dominionists Get Jiggy

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He’s president of the Christian Action League of North Carolina, and he’s 74,so hew rented himself a prostitute.

At 74…I’m impressed…That being said, I’m not impressed that he paid the woman with a check.

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The 74-year-old Cabarrus County commissioner was arrested at his home in Kannapolis early Thursday. He appeared before a Rowan County magistrate on six misdemeanor charges and was released on a promise to appear in court Aug. 22. He did not return e-mails or calls to his cell and home phones, and no one answered the door at his Kannapolis home.

Privette, a prominent Republican with a 30-year career, is one of the state’s most vocal opponents against alcohol sales and legal gambling. He also serves on the State Baptist Convention of North Carolina and as president of the Christian Action League of North Carolina.
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Larry Flynt is Shocked????

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According to Political Wire, Larry Flynt has 30 good leads about prominent customers of “DC Madame”. Flint describes them as, “We’ve got good leads. We’ve got over 300 initially. And they’re down to about 30 now which is solid.“

The thing that really intrigues me though is that there is another Senator among those 30, and Flynt hints that it is not one of the usual suspects:

KING: Will we be — I don’t want to get into names yet. Will we be shocked?

FLYNT: Yes.

KING: Were you shocked?

FLYNT: I was shocked, especially at one senator but…

KING: One senator especially?

FLYNT: Yes.

What the hell shocks Larry Flynt?

Republican Sex

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I came across this very amusing quote while perusing news of More on David Vitter, Patron Saint of Schadenfreude:

Jeanette says that most of the clients who wanted to be dominated were Republicans. She cracks a smile, then adds, “They wanted to be spanked and tortured and wear stockings–Republicans have impeccable taste in silk stockings–and these are the people who run our country.”

There appears to be a lot of self loathing there.

Schadenfreude: 20 More Perps Edition

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According to Raw Story, Hustler magazine is involved in more than 20 sex scandal investigations.

Flynt is saying that about the hypocrisy, not the sex….Whatever.

Referring to his past court battles over indecency charges, the hardcore magazine publisher said the government “did everything it could for 15 years” to put him behind bars.

“This is payback time,” he said. “And payback’s a bitch.”

The Depressing Thing is That Someone Will Get Tenure for This.

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Someone got paid to come up with this?

Women prefer well-built blokes: official
By Lester Haines
Published Tuesday 10th July 2007 14:44 GMT

Here’s some good news for the gym monsters among you: women are “predisposed to prefer muscularity in men”, according to researchers at UCLA.

The team’s report, published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, suggests “muscles in men are akin to elaborate tail feathers in male peacocks” which “attract females looking for a virile mate”, as Reuters puts it.

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That’s Not an Obituary, THIS is an Obituary

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George W. Bush won’t get as positive an obituary.

Count Gottfried von Bismarck

Count Gottfried von Bismarck, who was found dead on Monday aged 44, was a louche German aristocrat with a multi-faceted history as a pleasure-seeking heroin addict, hell-raising alcoholic, flamboyant waster and a reckless and extravagant host of homosexual orgies.

The great-great-grandson of Prince Otto, Germany’s Iron Chancellor and architect of the modern German state, the young von Bismarck showed early promise as a brilliant scholar, but led an exotic life of gilded aimlessness that attracted the attention of the gossip columns from the moment he arrived in Oxford in 1983 and hosted a dinner at which the severed heads of two pigs were placed at either end of the table.

When not clad in the lederhosen of his homeland, he cultivated an air of sophisticated complexity by appearing in women’s clothes, set off by lipstick and fishnet stockings. This aura of dangerous “glamour” charmed a large circle of friends and acquaintances drawn from the jeunesse dorée of the age; many of them knew him at Oxford, where he made friends such as Darius Guppy and Viscount Althorp and became an enthusiastic, rubber-clad member of the Piers Gaveston Society and the drink-fuelled Bullingdon and Loders clubs.

Perhaps unsurprisingly he managed only a Third in Politics, Philosophy and Economics.

Von Bismarck’s university career ended in catastrophe in June 1986, when his friend Olivia Channon was found dead on his bed, the victim of a drink and drugs overdose. Von Bismarck admitted that his role in the affair had brought disgrace on the family name; five years later he told friends that there were still people who would not speak to his parents on account of it, and who told his mother that she had “a rotten son”.
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A Moooooving Experience

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Sorry for the pun.

OK, not sorry for the pun.

Police hunt renegade cow sex youth
By Lester Haines
Published Friday 6th July 2007 08:29 GMT

Warning: no IT angle North Yorkshire police are on a state of high alert after a youth was spotted coupling with an English longhorn cow at a specialist breeder’s farm in Skipwith, The Sun reports.

The lad was clocked at 4.30am, dressed only in black briefs, by a “shocked” passer-by who interruped proceedings by shouting at the nocturnal bovine botherer. A 999 call alerted the authorities, but when officers arrived at the scene, the perp had made good his escape.

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Maybe it’s a Yorkshire thing.

Liberals Don’t Get It, Women are Property

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This is a repulsive thing. It is about the idea that wives are property.

Stealing another’s man’s wife costs $4,802
CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) — Stealing someone’s heart can cost you: Just ask German Blinov.

A Cook County jury ordered Blinov to shell out $4,802 last week after he was sued by a husband from a Chicago suburb for stealing the affections of the man’s wife.

Arthur Friedman used a little-known state law to mount the legal attack against Blinov. The alienation of affection law, one of eight across the country, lets spouses seek damages for the loss of love.

But Natalie Friedman, the woman at the center of it all, claims her husband asked her to have sex with other men and women — including Blinov — to spice up their relationship.

She supposedly began having feelings for Blinov, prompting her husband to file the lawsuit.

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Women of the IDF

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Let’s understand this. One of the things concerning people wanting to make aliyah to Israel is the mandatory military service.

Now, people will look forward to it.

Andrew Sullivan calls it Porn For Neocons, which is vaguely amusing.

BABES IN OY LAND SCUFFLE By ANDY SOLTIS

BABES IN OY LAND SCUFFLE

The New York post is trash, but I love their headlines.

By ANDY SOLTIS

June 19, 2007 — Israeli female legislators are baring their anger over what they call a “pornographic” tourism campaign – featuring a bikini-clad Israeli beauty queen.

The racy photo of 2004 Miss Israel winner Gal Gadot appears on formal invitations to an event hosted in New York tonight by the Israeli Consulate in conjunction with Maxim magazine.

The affair is to “celebrate” the magazine’s “Women of the Israeli Defense Forces” article in the July issue.

But prominent Israeli women say using sex to market the Land of Milk and Honey is “an outrage.”

Former Consul-General Colette Avital, a member of the Israeli parliament, yesterday demanded an urgent meeting with the Knesset Speaker Dalia Itzik to get an explanation of what she called the “pornographic campaign,” the newspaper Yediot Achronoth reported.

The consulate in New York says the campaign is just seeking good demographics.

“We found that Israel’s image among men 18-38 is lacking,” David Saranga, consul for media and public affairs said.

“So we thought we’d approach them with an image they’d find appealing.”

That’s the wrong image, said Zahava Gal-On, a Knesset member and chairwoman of the Meretz Party.

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Whatever Goes On Between Two Consenting Adults is OK By Me

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Though I would state that having to be extricated by the fire department might indicate a problem that needs addressing.

Sex game bloke traps modesty in padlock

By Lester Haines
Published Wednesday 20th June 2007 12:40 GMT

A Kent man who got his manhood trapped in a padlock “after a sex game went wrong” had to be cut free by firemen, The Sun reports.

The unnamed victim, in his 50s, intially presented the coupling of padlock and pecker at his local fire station. They packed him off to hospital, but since docs “could do nothing”, he was forced to return to seek expert help. Firemen eventually released the chap’s wedding tackle using hydraulic cutters.

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Porn mag ed sacked for inadequate smut

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£50k a year? That’s almost $100K US. I’d be willing to edit a “Lad Mag” for that.

My wife might object though.

Of more interest is that even in “Free Market” Britain, there are more worker protections than in the US.

Porn mag ed sacked for inadequate smut

Men Only ‘artistic differences’ kerfuffle
By Lester Haines → More by this author
Published Tuesday 12th June 2007 16:18 GMT
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The former editor of Men Only has won an industrial tribunal for unfair dismissal after being shown the door for refusing requests to use younger models and “bigger and more graphic photos”, The Evening Standard reports.

Pierre Perrone, 49, fell out with owner Paul Raymond’s nephew, Mark Quinn, over the former’s decision to target the grumble mag at “discerning older gentlemen”. Perrone took the helm in 2004, when the publication’s circulation was in free-fall, pressured by net smut, hardcore imports, and “competition from lifestyle magazines such as FHM and GQ”.

He explained to the tribunal he “believed the title had become tired and he had tried to target the more discerning market, using slightly older models”. Quinn was unimpressed, and “repeatedly ordered him to replace the chosen models with younger-looking women” while offering “more explicit” content.

As a result, Mr Perrone said these “artistic differences led to him being demoted, then axed in a sham redundancy” from his £50k a year post. Paul Raymond Publications asserted that he’d been canned because of falling sales and was “genuinely redundant”.

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Oral-B objects to toothbrush vibrator

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You get the picture. If you don’t, here it is.

It’s been a while since I’ve said this, but I really enjoy the Register.

This is why I don’t name things, I would have called it “Clitoral-B”.

LoveHoney in toothbrush vibrator trademark rumpus

Oral-B sex shocker
By Lester Haines
Published Tuesday 12th June 2007 10:21 GMT

NSFW Online sex toy outfit LoveHoney has got itself into hot water over the promotion of its Brush Bunny Electric Toothbrush Rabbit Vibrator after deciding the best way to punt the product was to picture it beside the pleasure delivery platform of choice – an Oral-B electric toothbrush.

According to LoveHoney’s sober report into the matter, it quickly received a missive from D Young & Co – “who proudly declare themselves to be representatives of ‘The Proctor & Gamble Company family including Gilette Canada Company and Braun GmbH in relationship to trademark matters'” – and who declared:

It has come to our attention that the trademarks BRAUN and ORAL-B have been adopted and misused on the above mentioned website. Specifically, the use of the client’s trademark can be seen at the following:

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=10535
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9483

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Bootnote

We’d like to point out that The Register in no way supports the use of toothbrush-mounted sex aids and warns that improper deployment of such devices may result in personal injury if not supervised by a trained professional. We also advise LoveHoney that The Register and its vulture logo are protected by trademark, so you can forget that El Reg-branded latex gimp suit. Our lawyers are watching.