Category: Sex

John ensign

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First, his former best friend, and the husband of the woman that John Ensign f%$#ed, Doug Hampton, has been indicted for violating lobbying laws and conflict of interest laws.

The could get interesting if he decides to drop a dime on Ensign and the rest of his co-conspirators.

It does appear though that John Ensign is incredibly busted, since the normally toothless Senate Ethics committee voted to make a criminal referral to the DoJ, and the special prosecutor they appointed to investigated recommended that he be expelled from the Senate.

BTW, speaking of co-conspirators, it appears that Senator Coburn was hip deep in negotiating the specifics of the payoffs to Hampton and his wife.

Assuming that the Department of Justice has the stomach for it pulling on this string* will unravel a lot more than just a Senator boinking a staffer.

Pass the popcorn.

*I think that they don’t because of their mishandling of the Ted Stevens prosecution and because of a general Obama administration policy to let things slide when they involve Republican law breaking.

What the IMF Has Been Doing to 3rd World Nations For Years…

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At least there is symmetry

So it should come as no surprise, that IMF President Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been arrested for raping a hotel housekeeper:

The arrest of International Monetary Fund chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn on sexual-assault charges threatened to upend French politics and weaken the IMF’s central role in resolving Europe’s deepening debt crisis.

Mr. Strauss-Kahn, 62 years old, was expected to be arraigned Sunday night on charges of attempted rape, criminal sexual assault and unlawful imprisonment of a maid in the New York City hotel where he was staying, police said. Mr. Strauss-Kahn retained prominent defense attorney Benjamin Brafman, whose clients have included singer Michael Jackson and rapper Sean Combs. Mr. Brafman said Mr. Strauss-Kahn would plead not guilty.

Mr. Strauss-Kahn’s arraignment was delayed late Sunday when police sought a search warrant to examine the IMF chief’s body for scratches or the accuser’s DNA, a law-enforcement official said.

We are living in weird times.

Obviously, rape is not something to be made light of, but the similarities in predatory nature of the IMF and the alleged crimes are striking.

Republicans in Florida Bans Sex

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You see, in the process of banning bestiality, they banned any person having any sort of sexual contact with an animal outside of the norms of animal husbandry and veterinary science:

An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.

Unfortunately, it appears that none of these folks took high school biology.

To quote Mel Brooks, “Ooh, baby, you are so talented! ……… And they are so *dumb*!”

Well, Now We Know Why He Quit

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It turns out that John Ensign made his resignation effective the day before he was to testify under oath before the Ethics Committee:

Senator John Ensign’s resignation letter allows him to leave office just one day before he was to have to answer questions under oath about whether a $96,000 payment to the family of his former lover was illegal and designed to keep the affair from becoming public, according to people familiar with an investigation of Mr. Ensign’s activities.

That formal testimony, scheduled for May 4, was the final step as Senate investigators prepared for what were almost certain to be Senate ethics charges against Mr. Ensign, Republican of Nevada. Mr. Ensign’s resignation is effective May 3.

To paraphrase King Kong, it was cowardice and hypocrisy that killed the beast.

Speaking of Rat F%$#ing

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Brutal!

This ad is positively brutal.

The thing is, assuming that the facts as stated are true, this is not rat f%$#ing.

If David Prosser, who is running for reelection as a Wisconsin state Supreme Court justice, colluded with the diocese when he was a prosecutor to cover up a priest child predator, and to have him shipped out of his district, this is a legitimate issue.

But the fact that it’s an important issue does not preclude it from being rag f%$#ing.  What makes it not rat f%$#ing is the fact that it’s true, the Bishop’s archives confirm this removes this ad from the realm of rat f%$#ing, even if it is nasty.

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I’m hoping that this is some sort of elaborate hoax, but I fear that it isn’t:

Al-Qaeda has launched a magazine for women that not only offers beauty and fashion tips but also gives advice on suicide bombings.

The front cover of the glossy magazine, called ‘Jihad Cosmo’, features the barrel of a sub-machine gun next to a picture of a woman in a veil, reports the Daily Mail.

There are exclusive interviews with martyrs’ wives, who praise their husbands’ decisions to die in suicide attacks.

The slick, 31-page Al-Shamikha magazine – meaning The Majestic Woman – has advice for singletons on ‘marrying a mujahideen’.

Stop the world, I need to get off.

No, 11 Year Old Girls Are Not Asking for It!

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The New York Times times reported on a horrific rape of an 11 year old girl in Texas, and saw fit to blame the victim for the crime.

Some selected quotes:

The video led the police to an abandoned trailer, more evidence and, eventually, to a roundup over the last month of 18 young men and teenage boys on charges of participating in the gang rape of an 11-year-old girl in the abandoned trailer home, the authorities said.

………

The case has rocked this East Texas community to its core and left many residents in the working-class neighborhood where the attack took place with unanswered questions. Among them is, if the allegations are proved, how could their young men have been drawn into such an act?

“It’s just destroyed our community,” said Sheila Harrison, 48, a hospital worker who says she knows several of the defendants. “These boys have to live with this the rest of their lives.”

Drawn into the act?

The alleged Rapists have to live with this for the rest of their life?

But it gets even better:

Residents in the neighborhood where the abandoned trailer stands — known as the Quarters — said the victim had been visiting various friends there for months. They said she dressed older than her age, wearing makeup and fashions more appropriate to a woman in her 20s. She would hang out with teenage boys at a playground, some said.

“Where was her mother? What was her mother thinking?” said Ms. Harrison, one of a handful of neighbors who would speak on the record. “How can you have an 11-year-old child missing down in the Quarters?”

You see, she hung out with the wrong crowd, and she wore slutty clothes, so she deserves to be raped.

By comparison, the Houston Chronicle doesn’t go out of their way to portray an 11 year old girl as something akin to Jezebel.

Why reporter James C. McKinley Jr. and whoever his editor is are still employed at the Times is completely beyond me.

Clearly the British Isles Must Be Invaded For Their Own Protection

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Yes, These Are Royal Wedding Commemorative Condoms

I came across a web page titled, “Lie back and think of England,” in which someone is flogging condoms commemorating the royal wedding.

Clearly they have forfeited any right to self governance.

Needless to say, this does not apply to the Republic of Ireland, who do not have the Royals as head of state, though their dealings with their banks does make one wonder about whether they are suited for self government, but that is a post for another day.

No, This is Not The Onion…

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Just Because This Needs to Be Shared, So That His Shame Endures for a Very Long Time

But when a married Congressman trolls Craigslist for female companionship and sends a picture of himself topless, it certainly sounds that way:

Representative Christopher Lee of New York abruptly resigned on Wednesday night after a shirtless photo of himself, which he had e-mailed to a woman, was published on the Internet.
Mr. Lee, a two-term Republican from western New York, notified the House speaker, John A. Boehner, of his decision in a letter on Wednesday afternoon, after the scandal had erupted, according to senior Congressional officials.
Mr. Lee’s office released a statement in which he asked for forgiveness. “I regret the harm that my actions have caused my family, my staff and my constituents,” he wrote. “I deeply and sincerely apologize to them all. I have made profound mistakes and I promise to work as hard as I can to seek their forgiveness.”

The resignation came hours after Gawker, a gossip Web site, published an e-mail exchange that Mr. Lee, who is married and has a son, had with a 34-year-old Maryland woman he had met through Craigslist.

In his response to said woman, he described himself as “classy”.

This must be a meaning of the word “classy” I’ve been previously unaware of.

Scientists National Enquirer Reporters Discover a Mythical Creature

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The creature in question is a straight Republican, one John Boehner, who seems to spend a lot of his time f%$#ing staffers and lobbyists, as well as f%$#ing the country:

New Speaker of the House JOHN BOEHNER is embroiled in a bombshell sex scandal – involving at least two different women, The ENQUIRER has learned!

Capitol Hill insiders and political bloggers have been buzzing about an upcoming New York Times probe – detailing an alleged affair that the 61-year-old married father of two had with pretty Washington lobbyist LISBETH LYONS.

And an ENQUIRER investigation has uncovered a bedroom encounter that Boehner – second in line of succession to the presidency – allegedly had with LEIGH LaMORA, a 46-year-old former press secretary to ex-Colorado Congressman JOEL HEFLEY.

The Ohio native, a congressman for 20 years, and his wife Deborah, 62, have been married for 37 years.

It should be noted that Ms. Lyons has lobbied for industries that have shipped jobs from Boehner’s own district overseas.

So while he was f%$#ing her, he was also f%$#ing his constituents.

I know what you are saying, but the Enquirer nailed John Edwards about his nailing Rielle Hunter, so they do have some cred on this, particularly since people have alluded to Boehner’s wandering ………… Eye ………*

*I bet that you thought that I was going to use a crude term for a body part that is pronounced the way his name is spelled. While the thought did cross my mind, so the the phrase, “fish in a barrel.” It would be like Dick Cheney when he shoots a bunch of birds (or a lawyer) released right in front of him.

Sharon* Is a Saint

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Otherwise, she would have bludgeoned me to death with my own left arm years ago.

Case in point: I was going to bed last night, and my wife smelled something on my breath, and asked, “What were you just eating?”

I replied, “Dulche De Leche Girl Scout cookies ……… but you know something? I don’t think that they taste like they are made with real Girl Scouts.”

She glanced up, and asked, “Have you ever eaten a girl scout?”†

My response was, “I’ve earned my share of Brownie points.“

If I had married a sane woman, I would be dead now, and no jury in the world would convict her.

*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.
†Bless her soul, but double entendres were never her long or her strong suit.

Cover-up

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Seriously, you have a prosecution of an international prostitution ring, and the prosecution is prohibiting the defense from examining parts of the “little black book” that they seized, but not others:

Federal prosecutors are refusing to reveal customers from Oakland County and the 248 area code who hired hookers from a high-priced escort service but are willing to out clients from Detroit, according to federal court records.

The legal tactic was unveiled in records filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Detroit involving the Miami Companions escort service.

………

Paul DeCailly, the attorney for Miami Companions co-owner Greg Carr, flew to Detroit last week to review the black book. He wanted to see the names of clients from Michigan and Ohio, but the U.S. Attorney’s Office said he could see only the names from the 313 and 734 area codes, he said.

“There must be something there they don’t want anybody to see,” DeCailly said Tuesday. “In the 248 area code, a lot of influential people live there: musicians, Detroit’s sports elite, politicians. … It’s the center of a lot of activity in the business community.”

Yep, that’s pretty much what is going on here.

Would that we lived in a less blatantly corrupt nation.

H/t Atrios.

Julian Assange Granted Bail

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We are all Julian Assange

But the Swedish prosecutors promptly appealed the decision, meaning that he spends at least another 48 hours in custody, which in his case means rather harsh isolation.

On the other hand, it appears that reports of a grand jury investigating an indictment under the 1917 espionage act may be baseless.

Truth be told, a good prosecutor can find an sitting already sitting grand jury, and Mr. Assange from a legal perspective is certainly a ham sandwich.

Were I a prosecutor, I would not begin any process until Assange were in Sweden, where extraditions appears to be more likely than in the UK.

Of course, while this is going on, the internet is still being roiled by attacks on both sides of the issue, with Anonymous emerging from 4chan to hit the financial and IT companies that cut Wikileaks off, and other hackers going after Wikileaks, in a game of dueling DDOS attacks.

Hanging over all this is Assange’s poison pill file, which has been distributed to tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people, waiting for the decryption key that will be distributed if anything happens to him or Wikileaks by a dozen or so of his colleagues.

And then there is the absurdity that Amazon, after tossing Wikileaks from their servers, is now selling copies of the cables for the Kindles.

In the mean time, here are the crucial government secrets that we now know as a result of the cables:

Of course there is some truly sensitive and shocking information out there, specifically that, the DPRK (North Korea) was willing to take significant steps to  reassure the US and the ROK (South Korea) in exchange for an Eric Clapton concert in Pyongyang.

Merciful heavens, we can’t let the citizenry know about that.

The final word on this is Pentagon Papers leaker Daniel Ellsberg’s, “EVERY attack now made on WikiLeaks and Julian Assange was made against me and the release of the Pentagon Papers at the time.“

Vaticanology

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So, Pope Benedict XVI has now issued a tepid statement saying that gay male prostitutes might be able to use condoms, under certain special circumstances, because there is no possibility of procreation:

The Vatican today rushed out a “clarification” of the pope’s remarks on the use of condoms, reported in a book to be published this week, insisting he had “not reformed or changed the [Roman Catholic] church’s teaching”.

But the statement made clear that Pope Benedict XVI was prepared to consider the use of condoms in certain, limited circumstances.

And now we are seeing the walk-back from this, so I am uncertain if this is a real initiative, or one of those cases a game of academic what-if-ing is taken as something more.

So, it’s either significant, or it isn’t.