Category: Sex

So Not the Next Sarah Palin

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Say what you will about Sarah Palin, but she does not currently get drunk and engage in one night stands:

Three years ago this week, an intoxicated Christine O’Donnell showed up at the apartment of a 25-year-old Philadelphian and ended up spending the night in his bed. Here’s his story—and photos—of his escapade with the would-be Delaware senator.

When one finds a public who makes their mark with sexual “morality,” it does appear that they are railing against what they want to do themselves.

I wil note that the source is Gawker, with all that that entails, and the account is fairly stomach churning, not because of anything that Ms. O’Donnell did or said, but because of the attitude of the source.

Lines like, “When her underwear came off, I immediately noticed that the waxing trend had completely passed her by,” do not make kindly disposed to whoever he is.

In fact, it makes me feel a bit, and only a it, of pity for Ms. O’Donnell.

Getting drunk on Halloween and getting to 2nd or 3rd base really should be nobody’s business …… Unless, of course, you are a very public campaigner against any form of sexual activity out of marriage under all circumstances.

Still, it reads like a bad letter to Penthouse forum.

Normally I Don’t Like Andy Borowitz’s Humor…

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But his take-down of Ginny Thomas’s “drunk dialing” phone harassment of Anita Hill, is truly an thing of beauty:

Three Things to Do When Clarence Thomas’s Wife Calls You
Posted by Andy Borowitz

Like many Americans, over the past several years I have been the recipient of multiple unwelcome voicemails from the wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. These calls have come in the middle of the night, at the crack of dawn, even at the dinner hour favored by telemarketers. Regardless of the time of day, all of these voicemails have one thing in common: she always sounds like she’s drunk-dialing me, except she appears to be completely sober.

………

One final note: if you get a call in the middle of the night and there is silence on the other end, that is not Virginia Thomas. That is Clarence Thomas.

A very well deserved take-down of a classless and corrupt, she is clearly playing on her marriage to a Supreme Court justice to secure large donations for her AstroTurf group, woman.

Go read Borowitz. He is very funny here.

What a Sick F%$#ing Freak

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Right wing activist, wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas just called Anita Hill demanding an apology:

Nearly 20 years after Anita Hill accused Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment during his contentious Supreme Court confirmation hearings, Justice Thomas’s wife has called Ms. Hill, seeking an apology.

In a voice mail message left at 7:31 a.m. on Oct. 9, a Saturday, Virginia Thomas asked her husband’s former aide-turned-adversary to make amends. Ms. Hill played the recording, from her voice mail at Brandeis University, for The New York Times.

“Good morning Anita Hill, it’s Ginni Thomas,” it said. “I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband.”

Ms. Thomas went on: “So give it some thought. And certainly pray about this and hope that one day you will help us understand why you did what you did. O.K., have a good day.”

Ms. Hill, in an interview, said she had kept the message for nearly a week trying to decide whether the caller really was Ms. Thomas or a prankster. Unsure, she said, she decided to turn it over to the Brandeis campus police with a request to convey it the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Seriously, there is all sorts of pathology here from a woman who is both the spouse of a Supreme Court Justice and an amazingly well funded political activists.

One can only imagine what the Thomas’ dinner table conversation is like.

This Episode of Sesame Street Was Brought To You By the Letter “T” and the Number 2

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As in 2 Tits are 2Much:

In circumstances George Stephanopoulos probably never imagined when he gave up a hands-on role in politics to become a broadcaster, two fuzzy, nonhuman members of the “Sesame Street” cast joined him Friday morning on “Good Morning America,” along with that PBS children’s show’s executive producer, Carol-Lynn Parente, to discuss the recent decision at “Sesame Street” to pull a music video featuring the pop singer Katy Perry.

On Thursday, Sesame Workshop, which produces “Sesame Street,” said it would not broadcast a segment planned for the show’s coming season in which Ms. Perry performs a version of her song “Hot ‘N Cold” with Elmo and is seen wearing a low-cut dress.

In her “Good Morning America” interview, Ms. Parente told Mr. Stephanopoulos she was surprised at the volume of disapproving responses the video had generated when it was posted on YouTube earlier in the week.

It appears that some parents are up in arms about Katy Perry’s breasts, because her dress shows a bit of cleavage.

It’s actually fine to my mind, but I’m thinking that if the parents are this freaked out over this, they are going to be raising some sexually repressed kids who will likely be very bad in bed.

Video follows, though the comments at Youtube are prize:

Republicans and Hookers Go Together Like Chocolate and Peanut Butter in a Reese’s

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We have another scandal in the GOP, this one involving embezzlement of Florida State Party funds, and we have now reached the now inevitable hooker stage of the story:

According to a female party official who spoke to investigators, Greer organized a men-only trip to the Bahamas with major donors and “women were involved and paid.” Gov. Charlie Crist, who was on the same trip and hand-picked Greer for the top GOP job in 2007, said today that the charge there were escorts or other paid women involved is “absurdly false.”

You know, if I had been a Republican party operative when I was single, I would have gotten a lot more action.

Hell, the debauchery would have continued after I got married if I had been a ‘Phant operative.

Your Daily Dose of Schadenfreude

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Your moment of Zen:
Rep Souder and his mistress discussing abstinence

Representative Mark Souder (R-IN) will resign after it was revealed that he had an affair with one of his staffers, one Tracy Jackson:

Rep. Mark Souder (R-IN), a champion of abstinence education and traditional family values, will resign effective Friday after an affair with a female staffer in his district office, he announced today.

He said in a statement that he “sinned against God, my wife and my family by having a mutual relationship with a part-time member of my staff.” …

(emphasis mine)

If this video does not appear on The Daily Show‘s moment of Zen, I will send a strongly worded letter of complaint Comedy entral about this.

Questions that Need to be Asked

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Is Every Right-Wing, Anti-Gay Christian Bigot Sucking Off Rent Boys?

I think that the answer is, “Yes”:

That man was George Alan Rekers, of North Miami—the callboy’s client and, as it happens, one of America’s most prominent anti-gay activists. Rekers, a Baptist minister who is a leading scholar for the Christian right, left the terminal with his gay escort, looking a bit discomfited when a picture of the two was snapped with a hot-pink digital camera.

Reached by New Times before a trip to Bermuda, Rekers said he learned Lucien was a prostitute only midway through their vacation. “I had surgery,” Rekers said, “and I can’t lift luggage. That’s why I hired him.” (Though medical problems didn’t stop him from pushing the tottering baggage cart through MIA.) Yet Rekers wouldn’t deny he met his slender, blond escort at Rentboy.com—which features homepage images of men in bondage and grainy videos of crotch-rubbing twinks—and Lucien confirmed it.

So, Now the Republicans are Blaming Pr0n for the Meltdown

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While it is true that senior enforcement personnel at the SEC spent a lot of time downloading pr0n on their PC’s, this story has been around for years, as ProPublica notes, and the reason that it’s hitting the media spin cycle now is because the Republicans, Darrell Issa specifically, are pushing the story because they want to stop reform.

Basically, they want to say that the failures were because of a few bad apples at the SEC, and pr0n is a good way for them to illustrate this, because pr0n attracts the media, and it is a simple narrative, which attracts the incompetent.

So it’s a win-win for the Republicans who want to side-track reform: It’s a pretty bauble to distract the press with, and they can claim that it shows that government shouldn’t regulate.

Adventures in Wingnuttery

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Now that Wisconsin state law requires teaching about the use of contraceptives in sexual education classes, the Juneau County Distract Attorney is threatening prosecutions of any teacher who teaches these classes, on the theory that teaching kids about condoms, etc. is, “Forcing our schools to instruct children on how to utilize contraceptives encourages our children to engage in sexual behavior, whether as a victim or an offender.”

He is threatening prosecutions for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Expect a baby boom in Juneau County shortly, because those kids will be f%$#ing anyway.

Republican National Committee Spending Money on Bondage Themed Lesbian Shows

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No, really, this is not The Onion:

According to two knowledgeable sources, Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele once raised the possibility of using party money to buy a private jet for his travel.

………

While Steele has not purchased a plane, he continues to charter them. According to federal disclosure records, the RNC spent $17,514 on private aircraft in the month of February alone (as well as $12,691 on limousines during the same period). There are no readily identifiable private plane expenses for Democratic National Committee chairman Tim Kaine in the DNC’s last three months of filings.

………

Once on the ground, FEC filings suggest, Steele travels in style. A February RNC trip to California, for example, included a $9,099 stop at the Beverly Hills Hotel, $6,596 dropped at the nearby Four Seasons, and $1,620.71 spent [update: the amount is actually $1,946.25] at Voyeur West Hollywood, a bondage-themed nightclub featuring topless women dancers imitating lesbian sex.

RNC trips to other cities produced bills from a long list of chic and costly hotels such as the Venetian and the M Resort in Las Vegas, and the W (for a total of $19,443) in Washington. A midwinter trip to Hawaii cost the RNC $43,828, not including airfare.

(emphasis mine)

There have been some complaints that Michael Steele has been spending his time stumping for Michael Steele, and his upcoming book, and not the party, but this is just nuts.

This is not a picture of a party resurgent.

Maybe Before They Try to Control What Women Do With Their Bodies ……

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The Catholic Church should consider controlling what their priests do with their bodies:

Top Vatican officials — including the future Pope Benedict XVI — did not defrock a priest who molested as many as 200 deaf boys, even though several American bishops repeatedly warned them that failure to act on the matter could embarrass the church, according to church files newly unearthed as part of a lawsuit.

The internal correspondence from bishops in Wisconsin directly to Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, the future pope, shows that while church officials tussled over whether the priest should be dismissed, their highest priority was protecting the church from scandal.

The documents emerge as Pope Benedict is facing other accusations that he and direct subordinates often did not alert civilian authorities or discipline priests involved in sexual abuse when he served as an archbishop in Germany and as the Vatican’s chief doctrinal enforcer.

The Wisconsin case involved an American priest, the Rev. Lawrence C. Murphy, who worked at a renowned school for deaf children from 1950 to 1974. But it is only one of thousands of cases forwarded over decades by bishops to the Vatican office called the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, [note: until 1965, it was called Congregation of the Roman and Universal Inquisition], led from 1981 to 2005 by Cardinal Ratzinger. It is still the office that decides whether accused priests should be given full canonical trials and defrocked.

We should note that Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict, did more than ignore allegations, he aggressively pressured priests and lay people to cover up abuse and to not report it to authorities under the penalty of excommunication.

While the statutes of limitation have expired, or at least I think that they have, it’s still obstruction of justice.

Margaret and Helen Are A Treasure

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Here, it’s Helen Philpot, who suggests a classical solution for the problem that is people voting for Bart Stupak, the nominally Democratic anti-abortion grand-stander in Michigan.

By classical, I mean a really old classic, the comedy Lysistrata, which was first performed in 411 BCE:

Bart, if you want to reduce abortions, vote to fully fund family planning and comprehensive sex education. Otherwise, shut the hell up. We don’t care what you think about our wombs.

Women in Michigan should hang a closed sign across their hoo-hoo’s until Stupak is either voted out of Congress or grows a vagina of his own. I mean it. Really.

Brilliant!

If you have the money (I don’t), go to Matthew Saroff’s Act Blue Page, and throw a few bucks at Connie Saltonstall, who is challenging him in the primary.

Noose Tightening on Ensign

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Part 1
Part 2

The scandal now has the department issuing subpoenas to, “have been issued to at least six Sas Vegas businesses,” as well as to the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSCC).

As to the businesses, we are looking at what may be an actual bribery case:

One of those companies was eCommLink, formerly run by Jack Williams, a man who claimed to have invented the gift card.

Senator Ensign’s then-Chief of Staff John Lopez welcomed the opportunity to help a Nevada company. But sources say Ensign’s office quickly seized on the opportunity to get something in return.

Sources close to the situation say Ensign’s office warned eCommLink and others about pending prepaid card regulation and that donations and support could make those troublesome rules go away.

So, basically the story is as follows: John Ensign sleeps with the wife of a longtime friend and aide, he then gets his parents to pay his friend off, and throws illegal (there is supposed to be a waiting period) lobbying work to his ex-friend in order to keep things quiet, only it appears that there was some more run of the mill corruption, that Ensign, as head of the NRSCC, may have used his position to extort campaign donations.

The mainstream media has studiously avoided covering it, the Washington Post has yet to publish a stand alone story on the scandal yet, for example, but thankfully Rachael Maddow has been all over this, as the two videos (7:33 & 6:35) show.

For Corporate Stress Relief

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Apply to the………

I was in the drug store, and walked by where they have all those odd things that you see on afternoon TV, and saw the Thera Pen Massager.

It’s a pen with a rubber cap on the end, and when pressure is applied, it vibrates, like, you know, a vibrator.

I can see it being used for stress relief, but I kind of figure that the illustrations shown here don’t refer to where it might be more likely used.

BTW, if someone asks to borrow your pen, tell them to wash it before they return it.

‘Phant Phamily Values

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The Majority (Republican) leader of the Utah House of Delegates has been forced to reveal that when he was 28, he went nude hot-tubbing with a 15 year old that worked for him in the warehouse that he managed.

What’s more, he paid $150,000 in hush money to her when he tried to run for Congress:

In the midst of his 2002 congressional campaign, Utah House Majority Leader Kevin Garn paid $150,000 to a woman threatening to go public with a past relationship.

………

Maher’s story is this: In 1985, then 15 years old, Maher worked for then 30-year-old Garn at his business, Pegasus Records and KSG Enterprises.

She said Garn, who was married, struck up a relationship with her and one night took her to a location in Salt Lake City where they hot-tubbed together nude.

It would be sleazy even if she weren’t 15. She was his employee, and this is sexual harassment.

And if that weren’t squicky enough, he is her, “onetime Sunday school teacher.”

One note: as far as I can tell, Kevin Garn is not related to former Utah Senator Jake Garn.

OK, Eric Massa is Nuts

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OK, look at the video, and it’s clear that this guy has some very real problems.


That being said, Massa’s vote against the House healthcare bill was from the left, he felt that it was too weak, and so the idea that the Obama administration in general, and Rahm Emanuel in particular, might have a personal interest in taking him down.

There is nothing more than Rahm likes than cock punching DFH’s,* and so I am reasonably certain that he’s high-fiving over this development, but the talk of a conspiracy I is premature.

I can see how Rahm might be inclined to do this, I just don’t think that he did.

As I have said before, I think that too many Dems remember the Mark Foley, and when this came up, the Democratic leadership did the smart thing.

*Dirty F%$#ing Hippies.

It Could Be Worse, She Could Have Been Driving a Toyota Prius

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Ummm….There are so many jokes here, but I’ll just note that since she’s shaved, we’ll never know if the carpet matches the drapes:

A Florida Highway Patrol officer has admitted his incredulity at a woman who pranged her car while shaving her privates.

Megan Mariah Barnes, 37, was driving her Thunderbird in Key West last week when she piled into the back of a Chevrolet pickup carrying four people. Or rather, although she was in the driver’s seat, it was actually her ex-hubby Charles Judy who was holding the wheel while she tidied herself up down below.

A Highway Patrol spokesman explained that the pair drove on for about a kilometre down the road before pulling the old driver/passenger switcheroo – unsurprising since Barnes was the day before “convicted and sentenced to nine months of probation for DUI and driving with a suspended licence”, deprived of her licence for five years and “ordered to get her car impounded”.

Just when I think that things can’t get any weirder, the weird turn pro.

Signs of the Apocalypse

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The National Enquirer has had its coverage of of the John Edwards sex scandal accepted by the Pulitzer committee:

The Pulitzer Prize Board has officially accepted The National Enquirer’s submissions for breaking the John Edwards scandal, according to sources close to the Board. In a historic move, the Pulitzer Board conceded that the self-proclaimed tabloid is qualified to compete with mainstream news outlets for journalism’s most prestigious prize. The Enquirer is in the running for the Pulitzer in two categories: “Investigative Reporting” and “National News Reporting” for The National Enquirer staff.

I agree that they should be considered for the prize, but it’s still weird.

I wouldn’t bet on them winning though.