Category: Weird

OK, I Might Consider Donating to Fiorina

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Rachael Maddow’s take


Full ad

If just because she is an even bigger disaster as a candidate than she was as CEO of HP, where staffers broke out into “Ding, dong, the witch is dead” upon announcement of her firing.

You see, she has followed up the worst political website ever with the worst political ad ever.

I’m beginning to wonder if former HPers are working on her campaign ad just to f%$# with her.

In any case, when one considers her history at HP, where she demoralized and hurt the company but got pay increases, or her history at AT&T, where her staff falsified sales data, she is a poster child for over-privileged senior management, and so would be dead meat on the table in the general.

But right not, she is flinging sheep at Republicans, so she’s doing “God’s work.”

Why I Hate the World

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It makes te Gay, or so it seems

Because the folks at Christwire have put out a blistering screed against the 1980s sitcom The Golden Girls” titled, “How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals.” (Their server is slow, so you may have to wait)

It makes me hate the world.

Why does it make me hate the world?

Well, it’s because, highlight the rest for my answer……………

It’s satire, only it took me a couple of hours to confirm this.

It’s what bothers me about The Onion. The parody is spot on, and should be funny, only all to often, I cannot tell the difference between satire and the real world.

The problem is that the real world is just too perverse and weird to be parodied. Truth is indeed stranger than the fiction of satirists.

We live in Bizarro World.

H/t Atrios.

Like Bukakke* with Knives

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Only $1.59, and I get a whole new definition of “facial”

Ok, so about the only plus to my being unemployed is that I make it to the gym 3-4 times a week, and do the stationary bicycle, get told by Fox News that we’re all going to die, and then I shower.

Well, I shave 2-3 times a week, I have a beard, so hitting my neck and the sparsely hairy parts my cheeks† does not have to be a daily thing.

I like to shave in the shower, and to do any fine work in the mirror afterward. I know my face well enough, and the hot water softens the hair and makes the shaver work better.

So, I got a new disposable razor, a Bic® Comfort 3® Pivot, because it was what what was on the shelf.

Well, one of the features is a, “Twin lubricating strip with Aloe vera and Vitamin E for sensitive skin. Improves shaver glide over the skin and reduces irritation.”

I kind of figured that it didn’t mean much, you see this crap all the time on consumer products.

I was wrong. There I was, in the shower, and this razor is oozing this clear stuff onto my face.

Ewwwwww!!!!

*If you don’t know, you can always check out the Wiki, but it’s NSFW.
†The upper ones cheeks, I don’t shave my ass. Sharon ‡ likes my hairy ass, thank you very much.
‡Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.

The Boys from Brazil

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Or maybe Crawford, TX, and Bush’s pig farm.

OK, so this picture is captioned, “Samuel J. Wurzelbacher, also known as Joe the Plumber, right, appears with Arkansas Republican U.S. Senate hopeful Conrad Reynolds.”

Does Mr. Reynolds look familiar, as in Boys from Brazil familiar?

The Republicans are cloning George W. Bush.

Tekeli Li!!!! Tekeli Li!!!! Tekeli Li!!!!

shiver

H/t Jollyreaper at the by invitation only Stellar Parthenon BBS for the catch.

OK ……………… Weird

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Pyrofarmer, one of the regulars on the Shortskoolbus BBS had the following exchange:

My nearby farmer was asking me if I watched some Obermann segment the other night about health care?

‘No, but aren’t you going to loose your GOP membership for watching him?’

‘Have you tried to watch Beck or listened to Rush lately? They’re out of their f%$#ing minds!

(%$# mine)

You don’t have to be a Democratn to realize that Fox News resides in Bizarro World.

Next Up, the Field Vasectomy

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This is a Bridge to Far

You know, I’ve occasionally watched the survival pr0n that you find on the Discovery Channel, both the rather more authentic Les Stroud, and the more entertaining Bear Grylls, and I think that this qualifies as Jumping the Shark.

In order to get water into his body, when the only water is fetid, and would likely cause illness/vomiting that might further dehydrate you, Grylls is using an enema to get water into his system.

This will work, just ask any medical professional, but seriously, enough is enough.

You Have to Love the Internet

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Because, you can find a monkey chimp getting to 2nd base with Bo Derek in her 1981 celluloid horror, Tarzan, the Ape Man, and see an animated gif of the scene:

I’m no prude, and even though I’ll probably never do it again, I understand that boobs are fun to suck on. That’s great. Everybody suck more boobs! I just cannot believe that the frigid MPAA was down with this (and still is since the movie is in print and everything!), and that Bo Derek, the sole producer of Tarzan, the Ape Man, was like, “Yes. That time that the monkey rounded second on me is sooooo going in the movie!” This has to be the most line-crossing thing I’ve ever seen in a film OK’ed by the MPAA. A cursory Google search came up with zero mentions of this, which means I’m either the first person to point out the fucked-upedness of this, or I’m just easily excited. Kind of like that monkey.

Anyway, here’s a still. I’m tempted to transcribe this scene and read it for Porn for the Blind or perhaps recreate it with Winston and some peanut butter on my nipple, but I doubt even that would make it more real. My mind is blown forever.

Completely NSFW, though the good folks at the MPAA gave the film an “R” rating.

Really, NSFW, though Bo Derek is very buff, and it reminds us all why she was a sex symbol in the early 1980s.

When a Big Box Stores Turn to Terrorism

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I don’t mean terrorism in stores, I mean terrorism by stores.

Specifically, a vicious and malicious assault on the eyes by a warehouse store known as Brandsmart.

As “jollyreaper,” who introduced me to the photo, notes, “Never did I think I could find a store to make Best Buy seem tasteful and sedate. That entire store is turned up to 11. “

Maybe even turned up to 12:


Click for full size

I think that my eyes are now bleeding, and it’s way worse in full size.

If She Were to Bear Keith Richard’s* Child

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It would be immortal, and might have super powers:

A Sturgis woman had a blood-alcohol level of .708 percent, possibly a state record, when she was found earlier this month behind the wheel of a stolen vehicle parked on Interstate 90, according to Meade County State’s Attorney Jesse Sondreal.

A South Dakota Highway Patrol trooper discovered Marguerite Engle, 45, on Dec. 1 passed out behind the wheel of a delivery truck reported stolen in Rapid City.

Her blood-alcohol level was almost nine times South Dakota’s legal limit of .08 percent.

Checks with local and state labs where blood-alcohol levels are tested suggest Engle’s reading may be the highest ever recorded in South Dakota, Sondreal said.

Sondreal said a state chemist recalled a sample that tested .53, but nothing higher, in his more than 30 years on the job.

By way of comparison, LD50 for alcohol, the number at which 50% of the subjects die, is 0.40% BAC.

*Richards’ abuse of a myriad of substances is legendary, and his continued survival therefore puzzling. This led the comic Bill Hicks to say that, “I picture nuclear war and two things surviving: Keith and cockroaches!“

Tyler Durden of Zero Hedge Spots Something Odd

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Click for full size

Past 3 Months


From March, when the Rally Started

For the past few months, the market runup has almost entirely happened after hours, when the markets are closed.

In fact, as he (or they, Tyler Durden is a nom de plume) note, “All the upside since September 14th has come exclusively from after hours action.” (emphasis original)

The money quote is:

The observant among you will immediately realize what this implies: not only is there no volume breadth to the recent move in the markets, but the actual push higher likely occurs on at most tens of thousands of futures contracts on a daily/weekly basis. The fact that literally several blocks of AH trades, used persistently, can move the market higher by 6% over the past 3 months, even as regular trading accounts for absolutely no part of this move, and that the SEC finds nothing troubling about this phenomenon, should be sufficiently telling about how “efficient” US markets have become.

If someone wanted to manipulate huge markets, they would do it at 3 in the morning, when the markets are small, and no one is watching for the last few months.

He thinks that it’s the, “HFT brigade to come in and scalp their trillions of pennies while leaving the market unchanged, then at 4pm handing it off again to leveraged futures manipulation and dark pools,” better known as, “That great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity,* Goldman Sachs.”

*Alas, I cannot claim credit for this bon mot, it was coined by the great Matt Taibbi, in his article on the massive criminal conspiracy investment firm, The Great American Bubble Machine.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

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Remember Parker Griffith, the DINO Congressman who turned ‘Phant today? (link)

Well he, donated $1,500.00 to Howard Dean in 2004.

He also donated a grand to Harry Reid in 2003, and $500 to Evan Bayh in 2006, and $500 to Harold Ford in 2005.

And yes, I am banging my head against the keyboard over this.

For the other three, I can kind of get, but for Howard Dean, the candidate from the Democratic Wing of the Democratic Party?

I is confused.

Bankers Offer to Overpay on UK Bonus Tax

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No, really, I am completely serious:

Some of the most senior bankers in Britain are planning to convince the Treasury to drop the new 50% tax on bonuses by dangling the prospect of a combined contribution to the exchequer of £2bn. The promise of the boost to Britain’s depleted coffers has been made in recent days and is almost four times the £550m Alistair Darling has said he intends to raise through his payroll tax on bonuses. The Chancellor has been met with anger in the City since he announced the one-off tax in his pre-budget report last week and been warned of a mass exodus of high-flying bankers to countries with a less punitive tax regime.

(emphasis mine)

I don’t know what is going on here, but when Britain’s own little vampire squids wrapped around the face of humanity,* decide that it’s time to overpay their taxes by a factor of 4, something very hinky going on.

Somewhere in these bonus pools that Chancellor Darling wants to tax is something bad….Something Really, Really, Really, Really bad.

We are talking something murder-for-hire and laundering drug money through child prostitutes bad. Something is rotten in the Street City,† and they, whoever exactly they are, very badly want it covered up.

*Alas, I cannot claim credit for this bon mot, it was coined by the great Matt Taibbi, in his article on the massive criminal conspiracy investment firm Goldman Sachs, The Great American Bubble Machine.
†The UK equivalent of Wall Street. Corrected my error on edit.

Well, This is One Way to Beat the System

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If you order large amounts of coinage via credit card, the US Mint sends it to you free of charge, which means that you can turn around and deposit the money in the bank, and, if you have a credit card with reward miles, you still get those miles, for buying money, which you use to pay off the bill:

Enthusiasts of frequent-flier mileage have all kinds of crazy strategies for racking up credits, but few have been as quick and easy as turning coins into miles.

At least several hundred mile-junkies discovered that a free shipping offer on presidential and Native American $1 coins, sold at face value by the U.S. Mint, amounted to printing free frequent-flier miles. Mileage lovers ordered more than $1 million in coins until the Mint started identifying them and cutting them off.

Coin buyers charged the purchases, sold in boxes of 250 coins, to a credit card that offers frequent-flier mile awards, then took the shipments straight to the bank. They then used the coins they deposited to pay their credit-card bills. Their only cost: the car trip to make the deposit.

Neat scam, and as always, the only problem is that I discover it too damn late.

Facebook Founder Completely PWN36* By Facebook Privacy Policy

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Bummer of a birth mark, Mr. Zuckerberg

I check Facebook every day or soo, and I feed my blog there, albeit imperfectly, so when the came up with a privacy policy update, I didn’t pay too much attention, until I heard lots of people complaining.

Management there said it was no big deal, but then about 300 personal photos of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg were made public to the general public:

In a not-uncommon development for the social-networking leader, Facebook’s recently released privacy controls are leaving the company a bit red-faced. As a result of a new policy that by default makes users’ profiles, photos and friends lists available on the web, almost 300 personal photos of founder Mark Zuckerberg became publicly available, a development that had gossip sites like Gawker yukking it up.

Kashmir Hill, a blogger for True/Slant, first reported Zuckerberg’s new exposure, noting, “Either Mark Zuckerberg got a whole lot less private or Facebook’s CEO doesn’t understand the company’s new privacy settings.” Under the new privacy regime, user profiles are exposed to the web unless users are proactive about limiting access.

So, what did Morty make public?

  • His wall
  • His photo albums
  • The fact that he is a Taylor Swift fan
  • Graphic (!?!) photos of “The Great Goat Roast of 2009”
  • The time, date, and location of the Facebook corporate holiday party.

Oopsie.

*Owned.