Category: Weird
This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.*
There was a scuffle at a healthcare reform rally, and someone’s finger was bitten off.
*Admiral Josh Painter, The Hunt for Red October.
Birthers Want Obama to Drop Trou* On National TV
Shrek: Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something? Yep, Jesus’ General, who reads Free Republic so I don’t have to, has noted that the latest meme: If Barack Obama is not circumcised, it would mean that he was not born in the US in 1961, because everyone got circumcised then.
There are some problems here.
It is indeed true that circumcision rates were high, well over 90%, in the US in the early 1960s, it was neither absolutely universal nor mandatory. Additionally, circumcision amongst Muslims is considered Sunnah, or a highly recommended tradition, and as a Muslim Obama would have been circumcised.
So if he were a closet Muslim, he would be circumcised anyway.
In any case let me be the first to say, great googly moogly, someone has issues.
The fascination that the denizens of FR with Democratic presidential penises, which says something about them, probably more about penis size insecurity than anything else.
*Meaning pull down his pants, and show us his penis.
Deep Thought
Demotivator Edition
Apparently, the Whole, No Premarital Sex Because It Might Lead to Dancing Thing is Inoperative
Tom Delay will be appearing on Dancing With the Stars.
Not much of a joke, but the best I could come up with.
Please make better ones below.
Deep Thought
Demotivator Edition
Headline of the Day
N.J. Judge Retains Case Over Estate of Formosa’s Wang
It’s really not a particularly interesting story, but the hed is prize.
Deep Thought, IT Edition
This only represents only a small minority of Mac users, and I can see someone doing this with a penguin* too.
*Linux.
Once Again, Stunned By Haunting Artistic Brilliance of ……. William Shatner????
Once again, the Republicans have me saying something that I would never imagined have saying in my wildest dreams, but William Shatner reading Palin’s resignation speech as poetry is brilliant.
Flight of the Bumblebee…On an Accordion?????
This is so wrong.
Chinese Military Unleashes Illegal and Immoral Weapon
See the 3rd eye?
There it is again!!!
It appears that the Chinese Communists are developing genetically engineered furries as super-soldiers.
With no respect for the norms of civilized behavior, they intend to inflict furrie soldiers with mutant 3rd eyes (see top pic) upon an unsuspecting world.
And you know what’s paying for their inhuman efforts?
McDonald’s Happy Meal toys, that’s what.
Every time one of your kids gets happy meal toys, the PLA puts a penny on their evil plans.
They must be stopped!
The Best Press Release Ever
Cyclone Power Technologies issued the following press release regarding rumors of it creating flesh eating zombie hordes:
PRESS RELEASE
Cyclone Power Technologies Responds to
Rumors about “Flesh Eating ” Military RobotPOMPANO BEACH, FL, July 16, 2009. In response to rumors circulating the internet on sites such as FoxNews.com, FastCompany.com and CNET News about a “flesh eating ”robot project, Cyclone Power Technologies Inc. (Pink Sheets: CYPW) and Robotic Technology Inc. (RTI) would like to set the record straight: This robot is strictly vegetarian.
On July 7, Cyclone announced that it had completed the first stage of development for a beta biomass engine system used to power RTI ’s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot (EATR™), a Phase II SBIR project sponsored by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), Defense Sciences Office. RTI ’s EATR is an autonomous robotic platform able to perform long-range, long-endurance missions without the need for manual or conventional re-fueling.
RTI ’s patent pending robotic system will be able to find, ingest and extract energy from biomass in the environment. Despite the far-reaching reports that this includes “human bodies,” the public can be assured that the engine Cyclone has developed to power the EATR runs on fuel no scarier than twigs, grass clippings and wood chips – small, plant-based items for which RTI ’s robotic technology is designed to forage. Desecration of the dead is a war crime under Article 15 of the Geneva Conventions, and is certainly not something sanctioned by DARPA, Cyclone or RTI.
“We completely understand the public ’s concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population,but that is not our mission,”stated Harry Schoell,Cyclone ’s CEO.“We are focused on demonstrating that our engines can create usable, green power from plentiful, renewable plant matter. The commercial applications alone for this earth-friendly energy solution are enormous.”
(emphasis original)
Somehow, I do not think that this press release will help much. They just cemented their position in the public view as a manufacturer of Cannibal Zombdroids™.
If Leno, O’Brien, Letterman, Colbert, or Stewart’s writer’s hear about this, it will be how your company is introduced to mainstream America.
H/t Noah Shachtman.
Proof of God’s Existence
He has a Facebook page.
Miss Piggy Singing F$%# the Pain Away
NSFW, but seriously bent in a good way.
iHymen
Yes, someone has 
released an iPhone ‘purity ring’ application:
The iPhone has applications for almost everything, from helping people to choose the best wine for a meal to locating supermarkets in Holland. Now there is one to help them to stay chaste until marriage.
For just 59p, consumers can download an application that allows them to take a purity pledge and then display a silver ring on their phone to prove their commitment to abstinence.
I would note that people who take purity pledges are more likely to engage in oral sex, anal sex, unprotected sex, and parenthood, so the mind boggles at what sorts of risky behavior that this application will engender.
H/t Jessica Valenti
Dayam! I Get Some Whack Email!
And it wasn’t even addressed to me about this blog, it was on a little Yahoo Group that I run to facilitate the Owings Mills Jewish community.*
I have new members set to “moderated” so as to prevent the phenomena where some joins, posts spam, and leaves, and someone posted this over the top screed that appears to call for the murder of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama!
I looked at it, and was about to delete it, and then I looked again and thought that the phrase, “The death time of lucifer and united states and clinton is come. GOD said: ” Kill clinton , Destroy united states !” was enough.
I contacted the Secret Service, read them the letter over the phone, and they had me send a copy to them.
Jeebus, the hate out there is scary.
*Note that the poster is not Jewish. When the opening ‘graph reads, “I am called by Hashem of Israel – my Father GOD, the Most High, and the Son of GOD, the Messiah of Israel – my LORD Yeshua to convey GOD’s Words to people in the last days. I have proof, the visible Sign of HOLY SPIRIT like a Light Dove on my forehead, and the Sign of Light Cross on my face,” it’s clearly one of the Evangelical proselytization group, like J4J or MJ, behind this.
NY Senate Kerfluffle Resolved
…..For a while, at least.
This may very well render Paterson’s (quite possibly illegal) appointment of a Lieutenant Governor moot.
In any case, the Democrats are back in control of the State Senate, and Pedro Espada, who has changed parties 4 times in his career, will be the Senate majority leader.
I guess it goes to show you, in politics, no bad deed goes unrewarded.
Well, At Least I’m Not in the New York Senate
With nothing going on, and a 31-31 tie continuing, Governor David Paterson has named former MTA chief Richard Ravitch as Lieutenant Governor, who could theoretically cast the tie breaker vote.
The thing is, it appears that he has no authorities to do so, at least not according to the Republicans, Democratic turncoat and poster child for corruption Pedro Espada Jr., and Democratic State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo.
We Want Your Immortal Soul
Seriously, there is a Latvian banker who is demanding borrowers souls as collateral, Viktor Mirosiichenko of the Kontora loan company:
Clients have to sign a contract, with the words “Agreement” in bold letters at the top. The client agrees to the collateral, “that is, my immortal soul”.
Mirosiichenko said his company would not employ debt collectors to get its money back if people refused to repay, and promised no physical violence.
I hope that this is not the face of market reform in other parts of the former Warsaw Pact nations.
Another Thought on Sarah Palin
My thoughts on Sarah Palin surprise resignation remains that she quit to run for President.
Simply put, I have been receiving reports of her hubris and self-important behavior from my dad since before the election, and I think that she really believes that God wants her to be President, and with what shee sees as the increasingly vitriolic campaign of the Republican establishment against her, she feels the need to “talk directly to the people,” specifically the people of Iowa and New Hampshire.
I think that she honestly believes that if she can meet enough voters 1 on 1, then she can win the caucus and primary.
I should note that my position is not the consensus in the blogosphere, which is that there is either a major scandal or health issue about to rear its head.
Palin’s bizarre performance at her announcement would indicate something sudden, but both the recent very public push-back from the DC ‘Phants and a potential scandal falls in that category.
In either case, I long for the day when she goes on my They Who Must Not Be Named list.
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