It’s not my headline, though I wish that I had come up with it.
It’s an article on powered underwater exoskeleton called the Performance Improving Self Contained Exoskeleton for Swimming (PISCES*) that has people flapping like penguins.
It’s penguins….It’s always the penguins.
*People spend way too much time on developing cute acronyms.
Well, it now appears that the Virginia Republican Party is holding a rally for minority outreach, and the lead speaker is George Allen.
George “Macacca” Allen headlining a minority outreach event?
Honestly, the source is not The Onion.
You may recall Vito Fossella, who dropped out of his race for reelection after he was busted for driving drunk from his wife to his mistress, both of whom have borne him children.
Well, the Republicans selected Francis H. Powers, whose son Francis M. Powers was running against him on the Libertarian ticket.
And then Francis H. Powers died.
Well, it now looks like Vito Fossella is considering re-entering the race.
The political gods are smoking some serious dope in Staten Island.
It appears that the US is granting Citgo’s request for 250,000 BBL of crude from the US strategic petroleum reserve.
Citgo is the state owned oil company of Venezuela, and is thus controlled by Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez.
Normally, when some women wants to clone her pit bull, and pays something in excess of 50 grand to a Korean cloning lab to do so I kind of shrug my shoulders, and figure, “another idiot with more money than brains”.
This is further reinforced by the fact that the dog’s name is “Booger”.
However, the case of Bernann McKinney, the coverage of her dog cloning brought her, and her photograph to the attention of a number of people who say that she bears a disturbing similarity to one former Miss Wyoming, Joyce McKinney (see also here and here), who achieved some noteriety in the 1970s in the UK:
For those whose knowledge of news stretches back no further than the launch of Eudora, Joyce McKinney was the former Miss Wyoming who was accused in 1977 of stalking Kirk Anderson, young Mormon Missionary, all the way from Utah to Ewell in Surrey, before kidnapping him and spiriting him away to a cottage in Dorset. There, she allegedly chained him to a bed and forced herself upon him – three times – while wearing a see-through negligee. (Her, not him. He was apparently wearing a Mormon chastity garment, and presumably a pained expression.)
The object of Joyce McKinney’s affections eventually escaped her mink-lined handcuffs. She and an accomplice were charged with kidnapping, but she insisted it was consensual. Joyce escaped the UK using a false passport and disguised as a member of a mime troupe, but not before declaring in court that her love for the mink-restrained Mormon was such that: “I’d ski naked down Mount Everest with a carnation up my nose if he asked me.”
(emphasis mine)
BTW, she has now admitted that the is, in fact, that Joyce McKinney.
Seriously, if someone wrote this in a novel, the editor would send it back with a not saying that it was simply too weird to be believable.
Talk about a long legal dispute!
The Association of the Sovereign Order of the Temple of Christ, which claims to be a descendant of the Knights Templar, are suing Pope Benedict over what they claim are about €100 billion in assets seized in 1307.
It appears that both Benedict and the Association of the Sovereign Order of the Temple of Christ are both moving toward the rehabilitation of the order, though I am not sure how the lawsuit would aid in this process.
The Association claims that, “Their motive is not to reclaim damages only to restore the ‘good name’ of the Knights Templar.”
Methinks that someone has watch the latest Indiana Jones movie too many times.
In response to concerns that underwires and other bra components might cause injury if an officer were shot while wearing a bra, underwires, and other metal plactic portions of the bra could cause physical injury, the German police have issued them to their female police officers.
They are all emblazoned with the word “police” and made from cotton, polyester, elastic and some other synthetic materials, thickly padded and with no metal or plastic studs or fasteners.
How long before they shoe up on eBay?
*No apology for the pun. It’s the entire reason I wrote the story.
After he did the spoken word stuff with Ben Folds, anything is possible.
Canadian couple Livia and Alexandru Ionce are celebrating the birth of their 18th child. Ages of the sibs range from 23 to 20 months, and there are no multiple births, and all but one were natural delivery.
*The quote is attributed to Groucho Marx, but is debunked by Snopes.
Really. Email that is taken in, carried by a snail using an RFID Chip, and a
To paraphrase Styx, someone has “too much time on their hands.”
Armin Meiwes, who killed and ate a voluntary victim Christmas in 2001, has succeeded in obtaining an injunction against the release of a horror film, because it is based on what he did.
He claimed that the film infringed on his, “Personality Rights”, which in Germany is something in between privacy rights and the “right of publicity” that is used against Elvis impersonators:
The Court looked into the degree to which the pursuit of artistic freedom interfered with the personality rights of Meiwes. It found that artistic freedom was not so powerful a right that it allowed for someone’s life to be made into a horror film.
Meiwes advertised online for someone to be killed and eaten by him. Bernd Jürgen Brandes responded to his advert and tried to join Meiwes in eating his own severed penis before being killed and eaten.
Meiwes was arrested and in 2004 convicted of manslaughter. Prosecutors then changed their case and asked for a retrial in 2005, questioning whether Brandes was in a fit mental state to have given his consent to the killing.
Meiwes was convicted of murder and is serving an eight and a half year jail term. Reports have emerged that in prison he has become a vegetarian.
I guess it’s refreshing to know that the internet doesn’t have a monopoly on really sick sh#@.
Ayveq, the masturbating walrus dead at 14.
He lost the election for mayor of a small village in Romania, to Neculai Ivascu, who just died, so he lost to a dead man.
Of course, Neculai Ivascu, being dead, couldn’t really be called a winner either.
The Moonlight Bunny Ranch, a legal Carson City Nevada Brothel, is offering a two for one deal on anyone who spends their stimulus check there.
That’s funny, but it gets better:
But wait, there’s more! The legal bordello plans to have all 100 customers, plus some of the Bunnies, sign a thank you card and send it to President…Bush. Oy.
Heh,
I’m not a Catholic, but the idea of sex in a confessional booth just boggles my mind.
Not sure if I can add much to this:
Panties sought for Myanmar protest
Two Canadian human rights group in Quebec are calling for women to mail panties to Myanmar’s embassy to protest the ruling military junta.
The Quebec Women’s Federation and the activist group Rights and Democracy claim the secretive military leaders in the country formerly known as Burma are superstitious and believe contact with women’s underwear will usurp their power, CTV News reported.
…
The unwitting drug mule found the dope in his suitcase, and called police.
The “first of the story” is here.
Due to a screw up by Japanese customs agents 142g (about 5 oz) of Marijuana was placed in a passenger’s bag at Narita Airport.
They were running tests on the dogs, and used a real suitcase instead of a dummy one….oops….
