13 Year Old Steals Dad’s Credit Card to Buy Hookers
Ralph’s ambition is to one day become a politician.
Doubtless a Republican politician.
Category: Weird
Heady Brew
It appears that the hedge fund Cerberus is looking to buy mercenary outfit Blackwater.
Hedge funds and mercenaries, working together.
The sheer synergy of evil present in this concept just buggers the mind.
At least, there is symmetry.
Number One Candidate for Involuntary Vasectomy
Performed with two bricks, preferably.
Rusty Yates, whose demands for a large family are in large part for Andrea Yates post partum psychosis and murder of her children, has had a son with his second wife.
Some people should not dip a toe in the gene pool.
Guns for What?????????
India is now giving firearms permits to men who get vasectomies.
A scheme that trades one male status symbol for another has achieved a large rise in the number of men undergoing vasectomies in a bandit-ridden region of central India.
Shivpuri district in the state of Madhya Pradesh, an overpopulated area renowned for its machismo culture, has started to offer fast-tracked gun licences for those who agree to be sterilised.
There has to be a crude joke here, but I’m not seeing it.
LG Phones is People!!!!!
Carole Channing is Biracial?
From the wiki:
According to Channing’s memoirs, when she left home to attend Bennington College in Vermont, her mother informed her that her father, a journalist whom she had believed was born in Rhode Island, was in fact born in Augusta, Georgia to a German American father and an African American mother. According to Channing’s account, her mother didn’t want her to be surprised “if she had a black baby”. Channing kept her heritage secret so she would not be typecast on Broadway and in Hollywood, ultimately revealing it only in her autobiography, Just Lucky I Guess, published in 2002 when she was 81 years old. Channing’s autobiography, although containing a photograph of her mother, displays none of her father or her son.
The Air Force Bought 300 What?????
They bought 300 Sony PlayStation 3 for “technological assessment”.
Yeah, sure. Next they will by 450 Nintendo WII for “Human Interface Research”.
Your tax dollars at work.
He’s a Bush Appointee, Doncha Know
Judge Robert Somma, a Federal Bankruptcy Judge, was pulled over for DUI, while reportedly wearing a woman’s dress, heels and stockings, and carrying a purse.
And not just any dress, but a, “Somma was wearing a cocktail dress, fishnet stockings, women’s heels and fumbled through a purse for his driver’s license.”
FWIW, he blew a BAC of 0.12%.
Yes, George W. Bush appointed him. Quel surprise.
What’s with George W. Bush and Bald Guys????
President Bush, shown greeting Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.) just before his State of the Union address, made eliminating lawmakers’ pet projects, or earmarks, the center of the domestic agenda he laid out in the speech. The executive order cracking down on earmarks, however, would not go into force until fiscal 2009. (By Rich Lipski — The Washington Post)
Does this explain Jeff Gannon?
Seriously. One of the questions of the Jeff Gannon/Jim Guckert “man whore in the White House” thing is who was he doing.
Bush seems to have a thing for bald guys…Like Mr. Guckert.
The scuttlebutt (pun not intended) was that it was Rove, but maybe it was someone in a higher position.
And now I need this:
It’s not a revulsion about gay sex. It’s revulsion about Bush sex.
Moron Arrested After Driving Truck Into House
When you read, “Moron Arrested After Driving Truck Into House“, normally, you would think that the editor who chose the hed is a pretty awful guy to ridicule someone that way.
But he didn’t….His parents did.
A 20-year-old Burleson man was arrested Friday night after police say he drove a pickup truck into a home while intoxicated.
Bryan Scott Moron was taken into custody after he lost control of a white Chevrolet truck and struck a mailbox on Parkridge Blvd., then continued ahead and drove into a home.
Ummm…Name change dude…
People With Way Too Much Time On Their Hands
Courtesy of Boing Boing
Deep Thoughts
Some people are like Slinkies. not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
— Source unknown
God is My Guide, With Exact GPS Coordinates
Well, it appears that someone in Florida has devised a strategy to thwart baby Jesus stealers everywhere, they implanted a GPS tracker.
I expect this to be the beginning of a trend among Nativity scenes in the future.
The woman who oversees the annual display decided to put Global Positioning System trackers on the Jesus, Mary and Joseph figurines.
“I don’t anticipate this will ever happen again,” Dina Cellini said, “but we may need to rely on technology to save our savior.”
First, we lose ice pick murders, and now this.
It appears that technology has gone too far.
Who Says That Irony Is Dead?
Yes, it’s true, Blackwater has decided to expand its operations into peacekeeping.
Well, I guess that the dead do not conduct war.
(to the tune of Ghostbusters)
Blackwater
If there’s men with guns
in your neighborhood
Who ya gonna call?
Blackwater
If there’s random death
and it don’t look good
Who ya gonna call?
Blackwater
I ain’t afraid of no mercs
I ain’t afraid of no mercs
If there’s a fear of death
running through your head
Who can ya call?
Blackwater
An populist man
turning your country red
Who ya gonna call?
Blackwater
I ain’t afraid of no mercs
I ain’t afraid of no mercs
Who ya gonna call?
Blackwater
If ya all alone
pick up the phone
and call
Blackwater
I ain’t afraid of no mercs
I here it likes the mercst
I ain’t afraid of no mercs
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
Who ya gonna call?
Blackwater
If you’ve had enough of those
Looters and scum
Ya better call
Blackwater
Lemme tell ya something
Bustin’ makes me feel good!
I ain’t afraid of no mercs
I ain’t afraid of no mercs
Don’t get caught alone no no
Blackwater
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
Blackwater
Who ya gonna call?
Blackwater
Who ya gonna call?
Blackwater
I think you better call
Blackwater
Who ya gonna call?
Blackwater
I can’t hear you
Who ya gonna call?
Blackwater
Louder
Blackwater
Who ya gonna call?
Blackwater
Who can ya call?
Blackwater
Who ya gonna call?
Blackwater
Virginia ‘Phants Backtrack on Loyalty Oaths
Well, according to this story, the Virginia Republicans have dropped their loyalty oath requirements.
I guess that the Grand Old Party of Stalin does not like it when their ideas get a public airing.
A Rundown on GOP Loyalty Oaths
Grand Old Party of Stalin, I guess.
- The Virginia Republican party is requiring a signed oath that you will vote for the Republican presidential nominee.
- The Kansas state Republican Party is forming a loyalty committee to punish officials who endorse or contribute to the wrong people.
- On Vice President Cheney’s recent trip to New Mexico, residents were allowed in to hear his Albuquerque speech only if they signed a loyalty oath swearing they “endorse George W. Bush for reelection of the United States [sic].”
- PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. — “I want you to stand, raise your right hands,” and recite “the Bush Pledge,” said Florida state Sen. Ken Pruitt. The assembled mass of about 2,000 in this Treasure Coast town about an hour north of West Palm Beach dutifully rose, arms aloft, and repeated after Pruitt: “I care about freedom and liberty. I care about my family. I care about my country. Because I care, I promise to work hard to re-elect, re-elect George W. Bush as president of the United States.”
These folks have a problem deeper than bad policies.
Funny Spoof Web Site
I Think that it Might Be a Blasphemous Rumor*
From the prine edition of Flight International: American Airlines Vice President for Passenger Services is named Chuck Imhof.
LOL!!!
(say it quickly…out loud)
*Yes, this is a reference to the Depeche Mode song.
Arkansas Politico Claims Abduction by Satanists
It appears that he ditched his old family, changed his name, and bigamously started a new one.
I guess that this beats, “My dog at my homework“.
Sapient Pearwood
Some Russians have developed a motorized, gyro-stabilized suitcase that follows you around.
Shades of Terry Pratchett.