Category: 40yrs

A Tempest in a D-Cup*

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In response to concerns that underwires and other bra components might cause injury if an officer were shot while wearing a bra, underwires, and other metal plactic portions of the bra could cause physical injury, the German police have issued them to their female police officers.

They are all emblazoned with the word “police” and made from cotton, polyester, elastic and some other synthetic materials, thickly padded and with no metal or plastic studs or fasteners.

How long before they shoe up on eBay?

*No apology for the pun. It’s the entire reason I wrote the story.

Talk About Rebelling Against Your Parents

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Yes, I know that the source is Wing Nut daily, but this story is just too amusing to pass up.

According to WND, Masab Yousuf, son of West Bank Hamas leader Sheik Hassan Yousef, has converted to Christianity, and has become a supporter of Israel:

“I know that I’m endangering my life and am even liable to lose my father, but I hope that he’ll understand this and that God will give him and my family patience and willingness to open their eyes to Jesus and to Christianity. Maybe one day I’ll be able to return to Palestine and to Ramallah with Jesus, in the Kingdom of God,” Masab said.

Masab said he previously aided his father with Hamas activities, but he now has affection for Israel and laments Hamas.

Well, I guess that’s how you rebel against your parents, if your parent is a rebel.

New Stock Market Terms

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Courtesy of WallStreetJackass:

CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO— Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
….

Read the rest at the site…It’s a hoot.

IP Legislation Gone Insane, Chapter LVXXIII

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Armin Meiwes, who killed and ate a voluntary victim Christmas in 2001, has succeeded in obtaining an injunction against the release of a horror film, because it is based on what he did.

He claimed that the film infringed on his, “Personality Rights”, which in Germany is something in between privacy rights and the “right of publicity” that is used against Elvis impersonators:

The Court looked into the degree to which the pursuit of artistic freedom interfered with the personality rights of Meiwes. It found that artistic freedom was not so powerful a right that it allowed for someone’s life to be made into a horror film.

Meiwes advertised online for someone to be killed and eaten by him. Bernd Jürgen Brandes responded to his advert and tried to join Meiwes in eating his own severed penis before being killed and eaten.

Meiwes was arrested and in 2004 convicted of manslaughter. Prosecutors then changed their case and asked for a retrial in 2005, questioning whether Brandes was in a fit mental state to have given his consent to the killing.

Meiwes was convicted of murder and is serving an eight and a half year jail term. Reports have emerged that in prison he has become a vegetarian.

I guess it’s refreshing to know that the internet doesn’t have a monopoly on really sick sh#@.

Mike Betz, Please Pick Up the Pink Courtesy Phone

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I got a DVD boxed set of Sapphire and Steel from you, and (this is embarrassing), I’m not sure who you are.

The name sounds familiar, but in a search of my email and addy book, nothing comes up, and I’m wondering if I know him through a nym, or if he confused me with a brother.

{on edit}
He’s a DVD vendor, and my bro’ sent this to me, it’s just that there his name wasn’t ion the package….please ignore.

Bush Speaks the Truth: Promptly Apologizes

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It turns out that some soon-to-be-unemployed Bush staffer handed out a press info pack on Silvio Berlusconi, and used accurate information from the Encyclopedia of World Biography.

Among other things, it described him as, “one of the most controversial leaders” of a country “known for governmental corruption and vice,” and “regarded by many as a political dilettante (amateur) who gained his high office only through use of his considerable influence on the national media.”

Excuse me, I have to clean off my screen now.

Legal Funnies

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It appears that Judge Ronald Leighton was unamused at a 465 page filing in a racketeering lawsuit, including an 8 page title (!), and invoked a rarely used rule requiring short and plain statement of allegations sent it back to be redrafted with the following instructions in limerick form:

Plaintiff has a great deal to say,
But it seems he skipped Rule 8(a).
His Complaint is too long,
Which renders it wrong,
Please rewrite and refile today.

This is why I am not a judge. My limerick would have been far more blunt:

An eight page long title will fail,
regardless of the complexity of the tale,
I hope you don’t mind,
you’re in contempt I do find,
get your toothbrush because you’re going to jail.

I Want that Muthaf$#@ing Snake in the Muthaf$#@ing Ocean!!!!!!

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In any case, that’s what I think that Samuel L. Jackson would say about this new energy technology.

Basically, a team in the UK has developed a floating rubber tube that is squeezed by the waves as they travel along. It resembles a seawater filled sausage.

When the squeeze reaches one end of the tube, a turbine converts the energy into electricity.

They are testing scale models now, but a full size version would be 7 meters in diameter, and 200m long and produce 1 MW, somewhat better, and much less expensive, than rigid wave catching systems and buoys.

A film of it in action is below.

H/t Gismodo.