They published a guest column from Rush Limbaugh, “I Don’t Even Want To Be Alive Anymore.”
Just go read it.
Category: Funny
Cute, and True: 1000 Words on Volker and Obama
Olbermann vs. Stewart
Jon Stewart called out Keith Olbermann, complete with a Special Comment style rant, and to his credit, Keith Olbermann included the whole bit in his broadcast, and replied, “You’re right, I’ve been a little over the top lately………Sorry.“
I count it as manning up, though his one complaint, that he wants to be interviewed by Stewart, is completely legitimate. It would be a lot of fun.
(8:18)
Jim Camer Must Hate Jon Stewart
Jim Cramer claimed that the Scott Brown victory drove markets up on Tuesday, but the markets closed before the polls did, but stocks actually fell when they got the news, on Wednesday.
Scroll forward to about 7:50 for complete pwn463 (ownage), or hell, just watch the whole thing, it’s Jon Stewart:
H/t Calculated Risk
This is Harsh
Jimmy Kimmel bitch slaps Jay Leno:
It’s brutal.
The New DHS Security Screening Program
It really does say it all:
Best, Satan
A letter to the editor from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:
Dear Pat Robertson,
I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher.
The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle.
Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”?
If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style.
Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll.
You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad.
Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.
Best, Satan
(line breaks are mine, the LTE had none)
Received via Email
Specifically, this was received by Dutchie on the Short Skool Buss BBS:
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day……
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, ‘Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, ‘Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’ So I replied, ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am, It’s just hard to believe that you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’
My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.
Brilliant.
Deep Thought
Stephen Colbert is a F%$#ing Genius
He explains why we need to pay the banks, but the banks don’t owe us sh$#:
We Love the New Yorker
Learn to Speak Teabag
And yes, the artist has gotten death threats, so go to Mark Fiore’s site, and buy his stuff, so that he can spring for additional security.
This is the Best Air Combat CGI Ever!
So far, I’ve shown you military video of M-16 magazine operation, the Rafaele Python, and a Bollywood musical weapons sales vid, but I’ve seen nothing…………………Nothing!!!!That compares in majestic scope to this simulation of a combat between a Chinese J-10 and the American F-22.
It is one for the ages.
This is So Cool
Jon Stewart is a F%$#ing Genius
When he says the following about the underoos bomber™, “Even If The Bomb Works, There’s Gonna Be 72 Very Disappointed Virgins,” I nearly plotzed.
What Do Alan Grayson and Church Lady Have in Common
Could it be ………… Satan?Well, first, they are both very funny, and they both present an aggressive take on truth and hypocrisy.
Now we have a 3rd thing, they both think that Satan has something to the darkness at the core of our society:
The Prince of Darkness himself might be best-suited to write the foreword to former Vice President Dick Cheney’s forthcoming book, Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) suggested Monday.
Grayson, during an appearance on MSNBC, blasted the former Republican vice president for having attacked President Barack Obama’s handling of defending the U.S. from terrorist attacks.
Cheney’s attacks, Grayson argued, were only a tactic to gin up sales for his memoir, which is expected to be released this year.
“I wonder who’s doing the introduction to his book?” Grayson said. “Maybe it’s Mephistopheles; maybe it’s Satan.“
Somehow I doubt that Satan would want to be associated with Dick Cheney, it would be bad for his image, but Grayson’s underlying point, that the Republicans used security as political theater, rather than making a good faith attempt to keep us safe, is valid.
One note to the morons who compare Grayson to people like Michelle Bachman: There is a difference.
Grayson uses hyperbole to make his point, and he knows it, while when Bachmann says, for example, that US Census data will be used for Kommie Koncentration Kamps™, she actually really believes it.
Deep Thought
H/t Pundit Kitchen
Happy Santa Day.
Randall Munro at xkcd is a genius.
Deep Thought
Learning to Appreciate Keyboard Cat
Franken and Lieberman again.