Category: Humor

Charter Schools and Common Core in a Nut Shell

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I can do no more than quote America’s Finest News Source, “Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Sh%$s No Longer Worth It:

WASHINGTON—The U.S. Department of Education released a comprehensive, nationwide evaluation of American schools Monday indicating that attempts to teach absolutely anything to these little shits is just a huge waste of everybody’s time.

“We remain committed to providing every student in the country with access to a high-quality education,” said Education Secretary Arne Duncan, adding that good schools are a key component to the success of American democracy. “But to be honest, none of that matters. We’re not talking about promising young scholars here—we’re talking about a bunch of f%$#ing animals.”

“We’ve basically flushed $11,000 down the toilet for every single one of these little bastards,” Duncan continued. “Not to mention 18 years of my life.”

This is perhaps the most prescient article that The Onion has published since January, 2001, when it wrote, “Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’.

Sometimes, My Son is a Bit Dense

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We were at an SCA event today, in a hall ruin by the Manchester Volunteer Fire Department, and I noticed this little display in the kitchen. 

We spent a lot of time in the kitchen today,  as Sharon was feastocrat (head cook) for the event.

Charlie did not get it.

It took the better part of a half hour, each time getting more and more detailed, until he FINALLY got the joke.

For someone who is scary smart, he can be awfully dense on occasion.

Posted via mobile.

We Need to Recognize the Fact That the Right to Blaspheme is an Essential Right

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I do not think that there is really much more to say about the religiously motivated shooting of staff at the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo in Paris:

The police organized an enormous manhunt across Paris on Wednesday for three suspects they said were involved in a brazen and methodical slaughter at a satirical newspaper that had lampooned Islam.

The terrorist attack by masked gunmen on the newspaper, Charlie Hebdo, left 12 people dead — including the top editor, prominent cartoonists and police officers — and was among the deadliest in postwar France. The killers escaped, traumatizing the city and sending shock waves through Europe and beyond.

Officials said late Wednesday that the suspects had been identified and that two were brothers. They were identified as Said and Cherif Kouachi, 32 and 34, and Hamyd Mourad, 18. French news reports said the brothers had been born in Paris, raising the prospect that homegrown Muslim extremists were responsible.

Religion has been one of the most powerful, and most violent, forces in human history.

To degree that we as a species have any rights at all, we must protect the right to mock and insult religion.

I Haz a Sad

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Arguably his finest moment

I just watched the last episode of the Colbert Report, and I am going to miss him.

He will, of course, be taking over for Letterman, but that will be Stephen Colbert the person, and not the Bill O’Reilly inspired character that he has played on his show.

I’ll miss the character.

Thank You Chelsea Handler

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Comedienne Chelsea Handler posted a parody of Putin’s shirtless horseback photo to Instagram, and was justifiably pissed off when they took the image down, (NSFW pic at link) and has dumped Instagram for Twitter in response.

I understand, and I agree with her basic point, but this is not why I am thanking her.

I am thanking her for showing us her breasts.

I believe that a woman voluntarily, and proudly, showing her breasts is an independent good. (No, I have not seen the stolen photographs of Jennifer Lawrence, etc., and I find the involuntary posting of these sorts of pics to be an unconscionable violation of privacy)

I consider it to be a very public gift, and so I am writing this note to thank her.

The Universal Nature of Humanity*

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I can think of nothing that unites us more than the fact that even the Dalai Lama is pissed off about telemarketers:

Tibet’s spiritual leader has delivered an extraordinary rant about the things that do his head in.

The Dalai Lama’s rare display of belligerent human frailty occurred in London, during an acceptance speech for the Templeton Prize for ‘affirming life’s spiritual dimension’.

He said: “I am not a special person. I spend my days mostly in quiet contemplation.

“It is during these moments, when I am tantalisingly close to nirvana, that the phone always rings.

“‘Hello,’ says the voice on the line, ‘can I speak to Mr D Lama?’

“‘He’s not in,’ I always reply, because it is fine to lie in these situations, ‘and if he was he wouldn’t be interested.’

“Then they go, ‘surely he’d be interested on saving 25% on his monthly heating bills with double glazing’. For Zen’s sake!

Now, everyone link hands, and start singing, All we are saying, is telemarketers suck.

*Yes. I know. It’s a parody site, and this is fake news, but it really should be real.  After all, who amongst us does not hate phone sales calls?