Practice at the Detroit Lions stadium was delayed after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the ground. After a complete analysis, forensic experts determined that the white substance, unfamiliar to most of the players, was in fact, the goal line. Practice will resume tomorrow after Police and Homeland Security decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.*
*No clue as to who came up with this in the first place, but it’s funny.
Some video game humor.
I haven’t had time, or the inclination, though I have read excerpts.
The excerpts do not impress me, but then again, I’m not in the “Impressed by Barack Obama,” demographics, and and have not been since late 2007 (scroll down). I held my nose to vote for him in the general in 2008.
I just don’t feel any need to see it, though I probably will when the election passes.
Call it my own ‘enthusiasm gap’.
Not only does the truth hurt, it leaves a nasty mark!
Their headline, “Democrats: ‘If We’re Gonna Lose, Let’s Go Down Running Away From Every Legislative Accomplishment We’ve Made’“:
WASHINGTON — Conceding almost certain Republican gains in next month’s crucial midterm elections, Democratic lawmakers vowed Tuesday not to give up without making one final push to ensure their party runs away from every major legislative victory of the past two years.
Party leaders told reporters that regardless of the ultimate outcome, they would do everything in their power from now until the polls closed to distance themselves from their hard-won passage of a historic health care overhaul, the toughest financial regulations since the 1930s, and a stimulus package most economists now credit with preventing a second Great Depression.
“There’s a great deal on the line, and we know it isn’t going to be easy for us,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), speaking from the steps of the Capitol. “But if we suffer defeat, we will do so knowing we cowered away from absolutely anything we produced that was even remotely progressive or valuable in any way.”
If you’ll excuse me, I will now hit myself in the head repeatedly with a hammer, because that is more pleasant than facing this reality.
Here is a hint for the Democrats: If The Onion is writing an article, and it describes your campaign strategy, you are being a f%$#ing moron.
Stephen Colbert’s March to Keep Fear Alive
At Jon Stewart’s Rally to Restore Sanity on the National Mall in Washington, DC, heckling people at Stephen Colbert’s March to Keep Fear Alive on the National Mall in Washington, DC.
Unfortunately, I have a prior appointment, I will be at the SCA event, TNT,* and my kids love that event, so I will be there instead.
Still, I think that anyone who can make there should, because if this outdraws Glen Beck and his racist psychopathic ilk, it shows what his numbers really mean.
*Yes, I know that this year, it’s technically the, “Treaty of Troyes,” but it’s TNT and has been TNT for well over a decade.
The Mustache of InsanityBecause former recess appointee UN ambassador John Bolton is saying that he might run for President:
During recent appearances on Fox News, Bolton has been asked whether he would run for president. “Well, you know it’s a great honor when people ask me that question, and I have been asked that question,” Bolton said on Wednesday. “I don’t think anybody involved with politics should worry about that until after the elections this fall.”
He also said: “I’m not saying no. That’s right.”
This promises to be easier to ridicule, and even more funny, than the Freddie Thompson Clown Show presidential campaign of 2008.
I so want him to run.
Do you know that it’s been over 100 years since we elected a president with facial hair (Taft, 1908).
I don’t think that I can really say anthing about the 9th anniversary of the 911 attacks, beyond the humor and sociology in this picture:
I find this really, Really funny.
I think that I would have always found this funny, but it’s not an amusement that I would have felt comfortable sharing until very recently, and now, it’s the sort of thing that I would email to friends.
I’m not sure what it all means, but then again, I rarely am sure.
H/t Dc at the by invitation only Stellar Parthenon BBS.
Why yes, it does apply to me.
There is a reason why the comments at io9 are so rude.
Space Goatse†
The Big Bear Solar Observatory (BBSO) has published what is the most detailed photo of a The clearest photo of a sunspot we’ve seen thus far.
But this is not what I, or many of the folks who commented about the picture.
It was about 50-50 between people who thought that it looked like the eye of Sauron, and people who thought that it resembled a certain unspeakable Internet meme.
Me, I never saw the Lord of the Rings movies, so you can guess where my mind went.
In any case, if you want to review the comments on the thread, and you understand the context,* then you may find significant amusement regarding what is otherwise a straightforward science story.
H/t hedgehog on by invitation only Stellar Parthenon BBS for finding this little “gem”.
*If you don’t know what Goatse is, for the sake of all that is holy, do not Google it!
†Thank SupaChupacabra at io9 for this bit of wit.
This guy:
It’s a pretty good heckle, but the comeback is pure gold.
If you heckle a halfway decent comic, you will lose badly.
I know, not because I heckle comics, but because I get targeted for abuse because of my distinctive high pitched hyena laugh.
There is no oil spill in the Gulf.
BP has just decided to enter the market for sunscreen on a huge scale.
It’s supposed to be jumor, but much like The Daily Show, these jesters from Oz offer trenchant analysis.
Renovation of the door is called forI need a group of people who know how to handle themselves around tools, and can look like they know what they are doing.
What I am planning to do is generate a false work order and then install revolving doors at RNC headquarters:
The departures began in earnest about two months ago, shortly after reports of the RNC spending nearly $2,000 in donor money at a nightclub called Voyeur West Hollywood, an establishment where “impromptu bondage and S&M ‘scenes'” are “played out on an elevated platform by scantily clad performers throughout the night.”
The heads have been rolling ever since, even in departments that had nothing to do with the controversy.
It’s been tough to keep track of the staff shake-ups. The party’s finance chief and deputy finance director were recently forced out, as were three members of the RNC’s communications team. Those announcements came on the heels of departures from the party’s chief of staff, a top RNC strategist, and Alex Castellanos, who was brought on to help shape the party’s message. All of this has unfolded since late March.
The party may want to consider revolving doors at RNC headquarters.
Well, I saw that bit of snark, and decided that it’s time to make it reality.
I want a crack team to go there, show up with a work order, and install an actual revolving door.
Yes, I am really serious here, or, at least I think I am.
Hey kids, let’s put on a show in dad’s barn with mom’s costumes!
My guess is that we will get caught, and likely arrested, but if anyone knows a producer for The Daily Show, we can probably get on that.
D.C. Douglas, who got fired from his Geico gig for making a snarky call to freedom works, responds.
He has a future as a director.
These things go together
.On the by invitation only Stellar Parthenon BBS, Neophyte said, regarding Palins intellect, or lack thereof, “I’m not sure if it’s dumb or clever. She caters to the far right evangelicals. She gives them what they crave.”
The parallels between Palin and Brawndo, which has, “got what plants crave,” are striking.
A very special special comment from Keith Olbermann.
The folks at Political Humor came up with this, and it’s too good not to share.
The odd thing is that this is saner than the original (Beck), but I guess that artificial stupidity is just as hard as artificial intelligence.
If you go to the link (you can click on the picture), then you can see the generator, which cycles through all sorts of psycho-pathological goodness.
Still, it makes me wonder if Glenn Beck is not just some sort of bizarre performance artist putting all of us on.
Click for full size.
Everyone has a Christmas song that gets on their skin, and this comedy monologue is for them: (not entirely safe for work)
It is clearly a tragedy that a SeaWorld trainer was killed by an Orca.
This is a reminder that when you see someone working with a large predator, whether it is Sigfried and Roy and their tigers, or if it’s SeaWorld’s killer whales, these are still wild animals, and there is danger whenever you interact with a large predator.
The whale, Tilikum, after all, weighs over 6 tons.
One report (at link) has the whale grabbing the trainer, Dawn Brancheau, by pony tail, and the initial coroner’s report lists drowning as the primary cause of death.
That being said, all cetaceans are highly intelligent, social creatures, and it is possible that the death was as a result of a purely social interaction that it did not realize was harmful.
He could simply have been playing the game with a…
…wait for it…
…wait for it…
…wait for it…
…wait for it…
Chum
I am a very bad person.
